Reckoning
by eorocks
Summary: Things between them haven't been the same since Olivia returned from Oregon. A new case had them following the leader of a sex trafficking ring but neither one of them is ready for what happens next. Will it force them to finally admit what's been happening between them all along?
1. Chapter 1

_OK readers. This is something a little different from me. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review so I know if I should keep going. Thank you!_

"Diaz is in that warehouse. I know it." Olivia whispered. They had seen him exit a black SVU by himself and duck into a warehouse that they suspected had been used as a temporary shelter for victims of his sex trafficking business.

"We have to call for backup." Elliot said. He knew how ruthless Diaz was. They had stumbled upon three victims by accident, and the stories they told of their capture and eventual sexual slavery were horrific. All three had linked them all to the same inside man. Jesus Martinez. He was one Diaz paid enforcers and when they caught him, they had gotten him to turn and become a CI in return for some consideration in front of the judge. Their informant had told them that Diaz knew the cops were on to him and that he had cleared out the warehouse and was just finishing up some of the details before he disappeared. Elliot and Olivia had finally tracked him down and he had led them straight to the warehouse. While they were relatively certain he had sent the rest of his hired guns with the "merchandise", they weren't absolutely certain he was alone.

"He's going to get away!" Olivia argued. "We've been tracking him for a month! This is the closest we've been to him and you're going to let him slip away?" They were crouched down behind a dumpster, and Olivia peeked around the side, back towards the warehouse, making sure it was clear. The sun was setting and soon it would be hard to see the perimeter of the darkened area around the warehouse.

Elliot pulled her back and she almost fell on her ass. "Do you want to get your head shot off?" Elliot hissed as he helped steady her.

Olivia shrugged his hands off her. "I know what I'm doing!" She peeked around the dumpster again and looked back at Elliot. "You call for backup. I'm going in." She took off towards the door and Elliot cursed, taking off after her.

When he caught up with her at the door, he pushed her back. "I'll go first." He knew he was going to regret this; they should not be breaking protocol like this and there was going to be hell to pay… unless they got Diaz. Then they'd get a fucking medal.

Olivia shot him a dirty look, but let him play the alpha male…at least they were going after Diaz. She was convinced he was holed up inside by himself. Based on the information provided, she was certain he was close to fleeing the country and why she was convinced they had to go in _now_.

Elliot stood to the right of the door and looked across at Olivia, who stood on the opposite side. He grabbed his radio, alerting their Captain of their location and telling back up to come in quietly but to wait for their signal before storming in. When he hooked his radio back on his belt, he signaled to Olivia.

"I'm going in. I'm going to make sure there's not a room full of guards with guns and get a lay of the warehouse and if it's all clear, we'll take him. If he's not alone, I'm coming back out and we're waiting for backup. Open the door on the count of 3, and then give me thirty seconds before you come in after me."

Olivia opened her mouth to argue. She was going in with him. But he shot her an angry look.

"My way or we wait." His tone was stern despite being nothing more than a loud whisper.

"Fine." She said, her tone short.

Elliot held his gun in both hands, the nose facing upwards. Olivia grabbed the doorknob and Elliot started mouthing off the count.

"One. Two." On three, Olivia opened the door as quickly and quietly as possible and Elliot ducked his head in and out quickly, making sure there was no one in the immediate vicinity. When he didn't see anyone, he put his palm up towards her, reminding her to hold her position.

Elliot slipped inside and hesitated a moment, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dimmer light inside. He was in some kind of small hallway and spotted a small table and chair to his right. He could tell the hallway off to the left must open up into the larger warehouse as he saw light coming from that direction. He lined his back against the wall and made his way towards the light, inching along as quietly as possible. When he reached the opening, he looked back at the door, hoping Olivia would listen to his instructions. He saw the door was closed and he was thankful that for once, she listened to him. He had an uneasy feeling about this entire thing…and he wanted to make sure the warehouse was clear before she came charging in.

He poked his head quickly around the wall and then back again. He didn't see or hear anyone. He took in a breath, his adrenaline pumping, and poked his head around the wall again, scanning the room. He felt something solid connect with the back of his head and his last thought as he fell to the floor was of Olivia.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia debated as to whether or not she should really wait as Elliot instructed. Technically, he did outrank her, even though they were partners. And she knew she was on thin ice because he had already called her out on several occasions over what he perceived as recklessness over the past couple of months. They had been in several arguments where he basically asked her if she was trying to get herself hurt or killed. Where he told her she was putting herself into situations that compromised her personal safety…a level of carelessness he couldn't understand. Things had been tense. And that was putting it mildly. But they had been ever since she came back from Oregon, and they didn't seem to be able to get back to what they were.

She sighed. She'd better wait. She looked at her watch, counting down in her head. She held her ear to the door…but the metal was thick and she realized she wasn't going to be able to hear a thing. She knew it had to have been close to thirty seconds when she opened the door quietly. She hesitated, just as Elliot did, to allow her eyes time to adjust. She looked immediately to the left, expecting to see Elliot waiting for her where the wall ended, but she didn't see him. She listened, but didn't hear a thing. She wanted to whisper his name, but it was too quiet and she decided against it. She inched along the wall, just as Elliot had, wondering where the hell he was. He was supposed to wait for her and now she was pissed off. If he took Diaz by himself, she was going to lay into him. _Arrogant bastard_.

She reached the end of the wall and hesitated a second. She bent her arms, gun drawn and peeked her head around the corner. She was shocked when she saw Diaz standing in the middle of the room, staring directly at her with a grin on his face. He wasn't armed and Oliva got a puzzled look on her face as she came around the wall, aiming her gun directly at his chest. It took a fraction of a second for her to realized her mistake, but by then it was too late. An arm shot out from her left, chopping at her locked arms and forcing her to drop her gun. Then it was seconds before those arms had hers twisted behind her back and she was on her knees.

 _Fuck!_

She tried to look sideways so she could see her attacker, but she drew in a sharp breath when she saw Elliot sprawled out on the ground next to her, his hands bound behind his back and his radio shattered beside him. He had blood seeping from a wound on his head and Olivia could see he was unconscious.

 _Elliot._

"Get up." Diaz said, his voice cold.

Olivia was at an odd angle on her knees, since her attacker was pushing her forward as he held her arms behind her painfully. When she didn't move right away, he twisted her arms and pulled her up and she cried out in pain. She jerked her head to the right when she saw another burly man stride over and grab her gun off the floor. He stood in front of her for a moment and then without warning, slapped her hard across the face. Olivia's head whipped to the side with the impact and she hissed under her breath.

"Do what you're told." He said, his voice cold. He stepped away from her and turned towards Diaz. Diaz nodded at him and he walked over, handing him her gun.

Olivia turned her head to face Diaz again, and lifted her head and straightened up as best she could with her arms twisted viciously behind her back. She heard a moan to her left and knew that Elliot must be waking up. She wanted to look over at him, but didn't want to break eye contact with Diaz. He was an evil bastard, and she wanted to make sure she didn't show any fear.

"Come here." Diaz ordered.

Olivia didn't move, setting her jaw.

Apparently Diaz didn't like to give orders twice. He nodded at the man holding her and he pushed her ahead roughly, making sure he twisted her arm ruthless before he completely released her. She stumbled ahead a few steps before she regained her footing. She stopped herself a few yards away from him and straightened up again, flexing her arms at her sides slightly to relieve the pain.

She heard a few grunts and groans behind her and could tell the goon that had been holding on to her was pulling Elliot up off the ground. She chanced a quick glance backwards and saw Elliot was on his knees, his head still bent forward. She could see that blood was still trickling down the side of his head and could tell he wasn't fully aware of what was going on. She turned her head back to Diaz, not wanting to risk losing eye contact with him for very long.

The moment she turned back towards him, she swallowed hard at the look in his eyes. Cold, calculating. She knew he was personally responsible for kidnapping and enslaving over 1000 women and girls; addicting them to drugs, breaking them and forcing them to sell their bodies over and over again.

"Santos Diaz. Your under arrest for kidnapping, sex trafficking and prostitution." She said.

Diaz broke into a grin. "Is that right?" He narrowed his eyes at her, almost laughing at her statement. Then he shifted his attention over her shoulder.

"Looks who's decided to join us." He said, and Olivia knew that Elliot must have regained consciousness. She didn't want to turn her attention away from Diaz again, so she stayed still.

Elliot looked up and saw Olivia standing just a few yards from Diaz. He heard her tell him that he was under arrest and he almost smiled at her bravado in this situation. If they weren't in a big fucking mess.

He saw Diaz shift his attention back to Olivia and his heart stopped as he saw the predatory gleam in his eye. He watched as Diaz's eyes trailed over her body, lingering on her breasts a little too long. And suddenly he was terrified. He struggled against his restraints; he needed to get free. Diaz's man punched him on the side of the head and growled at him and he stopped struggling as he tried to clear his head.

He heard heavy footsteps and Diaz talking again and his head snapped up.

"So. What do we have here?"

Elliot saw that Diaz had moved to where Olivia was standing and was running her gun along her jawline. Olivia held her ground as Diaz trailed the gun down her neck and pushed her jacket slightly off her right shoulder. He trailed the gun down between her breasts, dragging her collar of her t-shirt down with it, exposing the swell of her breasts. He leered at her, his eyes lingering on her breasts before his eyes moved back up to hers and a smile spread across his face.

"One of NYPD's finest for sure." He said, his tone sickeningly sweet. Olivia didn't move a muscle, a slight thread of alarm spreading through her body when she saw the look in his eyes.

He dragged the gun across her collarbone and pushed the shoulder of her jacket off her left shoulder. "Take it off." He commanded. When Olivia made no move to comply, she saw him raise his hand and she tensed in anticipation of another slap or a punch.

"Javi." He said and she heard a loud grunt and the sound of leather against flesh. She gasped as she realized the man guarding Elliot must have just kicked him. The grunt was quickly followed by another as Javi kicked him again, and Olivia heard him hit the ground.

Diaz held up his hand and turned his gaze back to Olivia. She shrugged her jacket off her shoulders and it fell to the ground. Even though she was still fully clothed, she suddenly felt terribly exposed and her mind raced to formulate a plan to get them out of this mess.

"Ah, always interesting to see what motivates people." He said, and Olivia realized her mistake immediately. He was going to use Elliot against her…he was going to take the punishment for whatever she did or didn't do.

Diaz stared at her for a moment and she shifted slightly, not sure what was coming next. She wondered if their backup was outside…because with three against two in their current situation, the odds of coming up with a plan to get out of this mess was dwindling. Especially since Elliot's hands were bound and he undoubtedly had a concussion and a few broken ribs.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, she heard Cragen come across on the radio. "Benson. Report." Her hand went to her radio and Diaz raised his gun and pointed it at her.

"Hold it." He commanded. "I want you to answer him and tell him it was a false alarm. That no one was here and you're leaving." Before she could think of a way to send a message to Cragen, he spoke again. "And don't think about crossing me." He swung the gun towards Elliot. "Or I'll shoot him in the head."

Olivia swallowed hard and grabbed the radio off her belt. Her hands were shaking as she answered the call. "Benson here."

"What's going on? I can't reach Elliot." Cragen's voice came over the radio.

Diaz waved the gun at her, as if she could forget the threat he made. And she knew he'd follow through.

"Olivia!" She heard Elliot yell. "Don't listen to him."

Olivia flinched as she heard flesh on flesh and a loud grunt from Elliot. She closed her eyes; she didn't know what to do. She had no doubt that Diaz would shoot him if she didn't comply, but if she called off their backup they were really screwed.

"Benson." She heard Cragen's voice again.

"Answer him!" Diaz yelled.

Olivia brought the radio back to her mouth. "It was a false alarm Captain. He's not here. We're going to be leaving." She kept her eyes trained on Diaz.

"Should I send in CSU?"

"No!" Olivia said, a little more forcibly than she intended. "The place is wiped clean. I don't think we'll find anything." She didn't hear anything back and she started to panic, hoping Cragen wouldn't insist.

The radio crackled again. "OK. See you at the house." Cragen said.

Olivia was surprised at his agreement, but she let out a sigh of relief. He was probably thinking that they would discuss it when they got back and he could send the crew in later. She saw Diaz hold out his hand. She reluctantly held out the radio and he snatched it from her hand. He threw it violently against the wall and it shattered, the pieces clattering to the floor. Olivia closed her eyes, trying to think about how to get out of this.

"What else do you have on you?" He snatched the badge clipped to her belt and tossed it aside. "Do you have any other weapons you're hiding?" He took the opportunity to let his eyes sweep over her body again. "Maybe we should search you."

Olivia tried to slow her breathing. She knew Diaz's history. She had heard the stories from his victims, and she was under no illusion that he would spare her just because she was a cop. She had to buy some time…figure out a plan.

"I don't have any other weapons." She lied. She had a knife in her boot; she had to figure out how to get to it before he discovered it.

Elliot swore under his breath, because he knew she was lying and he was certain Diaz wasn't going to let her get away with it. Javi was holding his bound hands behind his back as he kneeled on the ground and his breathing was labored; he was fairly certain he had a couple of broken ribs. He couldn't get any leverage in his current position but he knew he had to break his grasp and help Olivia. He knew this was about to get ugly.

"Excuse me if I don't believe you." He had a sneer on his face and Olivia knew he was enjoying playing these games with her. He nodded to the man standing next to him, the one that had retrieved her gun and had slapped her. "Carlos." He said, and nodded towards where she was standing.

Carlos moved towards her and she braced herself, unsure what he was going to do. He started to move around her and he had the same sick sneer on his face as Diaz. He stood behind her and she tensed again, waiting to see what was going to happen next. He placed his hands on her shoulders and ran them down her arms. She knew he was going to search her, and she couldn't let that happen. She had to get the knife.

She made her move as his hands fell to her waist. She elbowed him hard in the chest, catching him by surprise and forcing him to stumble backwards slightly. She stooped to reach for her knife and she heard Elliot yelling her name. Before she could get her knife out of her boot, she felt Carlos behind her and she twisted to face him but it was too late. He punched her hard against her temple and she spun around and fell to the ground, barely catching herself with her hands before her head hit the concrete. She was lying on her stomach and shaking her head lightly with her teeth clenched, waiting for the pain to subside. She was about to push herself up when Carlos grabbed her by the hair and hauled her to her feet.

"Get up bitch." He said angrily and she let out a scream at the pain as her hand flew to where he was grasping her hair.

"Get your hands off of her." Elliot roared, earning another swift kick in his thigh and toppling him to the ground.

"Shut the fuck up." His tormentor yelled, looming over him, leg raised. Javi kicked him again in the side and Elliot gasped as he jarred his broken ribs.

Olivia didn't make a sound as Carlos pulled her back against his body, his hand still tangled in her hair. "Now we're going to try this one more time." He hissed in her ear. He continued to tug at her hair, so her head was pulled back against his shoulder as he wrapped one arm around her waist. It was almost like some absurd dance but Olivia tensed, preparing for his inevitable search of her body. She swallowed hard as his hand reached for her t-shirt and pulled it out from her pants. He ran his hand up her abdomen, and she flinched when his hand hit her bare skin. His hands were rough and calloused and he continued to slide them up her body, taking his time. He moved his hand up and over her bra and squeezed her breast roughly.

"You like that?" he asked. His hand moved to her other breast and she struggled against him as he slid his hand underneath the satin of her bra, cupping her breast in his hand and squeezing hard. He released his hand from her hair and slid it down to her waist, pulling her tight up against him, and she could feel that he was getting aroused from his abuse of her. She struggled against him again, grasping at the arm that was squeezing her breast but he only tightened his grip and she gasped at the pain.

"You're only making it worse for yourself." She heard Diaz say and her attention snapped back to him. She saw the darkness in his eyes and she knew he was enjoying this.

Elliot saw what was happening and his rage had reached the boiling point. He needed to stop this; he needed to do something. _Now_. He twisted and got back up on his knees and he gasped at the pain of his broken ribs.

"Looks like your boyfriend isn't too happy that Carlos has his hands on you." Diaz said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Her mind went out to Elliot. She knew he was in pain. She could hear him gasping for air. And she knew him well enough that he was trying to figure out a way to rescue her. But she didn't want him to see this…see this animal with his hands on her. Degrading her. And she knew this was just the beginning and that no help was coming. They were on their own.

Carlos hand went to her belt. "It'll be easier to search you without these." He snarled in her ear and she felt him struggling to unbuckle it with one hand. She struggled against him and he pulled his hand from her breast and wrapped it around her arms, holding her tight against his body. She tried kicking him with her legs but Carlos was squeezing her so tightly that she was having a hard time breathing. "It's OK." He growled in her ear. "I like 'em feisty."

She could hear Elliot yelling behind her but she was focused on Carlos and what he was doing. With the way he was holding her, she was forced to look at Diaz and a cold shot of fear passed through her body. There was no one to stop this…and she had no doubt that Diaz would let Carlos do whatever he wanted to her.

Elliot watched as Olivia fought against Carlos and he struggled against the plastic cuffs. He could feel them cutting into his skin but he was happy that Javi had his attention diverted and he wasn't watching him. He pulled himself up on his knees and threw his body at Javi, knocking him off his feet. He pushed up on to his feet and made a beeline for Olivia, yelling. "Fucking bastard. Leave her alone!"

He was almost to her when he heard a shot ring out and he froze, feeling the bullet whisper past his head.

Olivia's head snapped up and she saw her gun in Diaz's hand, pointed at Elliot. Javi was on him in a second, landing a punch to his face. She heard, rather than saw, Elliot drop to the ground and she knew he was unconscious. She felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes and she bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep them from spilling over.

"He won't be causing any more interruptions." Diaz said. He nodded his head at Carlos. "Quit fucking around and search her for a weapon."

Carlos released her and took a step back. He ran his hands down her hips and squatted down as he ran his hands down her legs. She considered kicking him, but she was worried that Diaz would shoot Elliot. Carlos reached into her boot and found the knife, pulling it out and showing it to Diaz.

"Bitch was holding out." He said to Diaz, tossing him the knife.

Diaz seemed to find this funny and he laughed out loud.

Carlos continued his search, running his hand slowly up the inside of her legs, and when he reached the top of her legs, he ran his thumb back and forth across the seam of her jeans. She squirmed beneath his hands and he grabbed the back of her jeans to hold her in place. He laughed then and stood up, running his hands back up her sides and then up and over her breasts, cupping them both and squeezing them before he released her. He snatched her handcuffs and held them up.

"Nothing else on her except these." He came around to stand next to Diaz. "I think I'll save these for later."

Olivia swallowed hard again and then looked to her left to see if she could see Elliot. She caught sight of him in her peripheral vision and she gasped and turned towards him. He was passed out and laying sprawled out on the floor. She rushed over to him and knelt down. "Elliot." She gasped. The side of his face that she could see was covered in blood and he had a black eye. She could see the whole side of his face was beginning to swell. His shirt was ripped and she could see blood on his wrists and hands from where the plastic cuffs had sliced into his skin. She touched the top of his head tentatively, looking for the gash. She leaned down towards him. She moved her fingers along his scalp gingerly and he moaned.

"Elliot." She whispered again and he opened his eyes slightly.

"Liv." He rasped. His voice wheezed and now Olivia couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"Oh God." This was all her fault. If she hadn't insisted they storm in after Diaz, none of this would have happened.

"Did they hurt you?" he rasped out.

"No." She whispered. She couldn't believe he was lying here bleeding and his first thoughts were of her. "No." She wanted to assure him that she was OK.

"Enough!" yelled Diaz. "Get her away from him."

This time it was Javi that grabbed her, wrapping one arm around her waist and lifting her up easily. She kicked her legs against him and dug her fingernails into the skin of the arm he held her with, but he didn't even flinch.

He brought her within a few feet of Diaz and dropped her on her feet. Olivia closed the distance between them and slapped Diaz hard across the face, channeling all of her anger and hurt over Elliot into the effort.

Diaz was surprised by her actions, and he didn't have to say anything before Javi had pulled her back into his grasp. Carlos stepped forward and was about to slap her when Diaz grabbed his arm.

"Hold it." He stood there, looking at her, with a small smile on his face. Before he could say anything, she heard voices and her heart leapt at the thought that Cragen had ignored her and help was on the way. Her hopes were dashed…completely smashed to hell…when she saw their informant walk through the door with another thug holding a gun. She furrowed her brows together, wondering if they had someone found out that he double-crossed them, until she saw him walk up and shake Diaz's hand.

 _Fuck_. They'd been played. Set up.

"Jesus." Said Diaz, shaking his hand.

"I see you got my gift." Martinez said, waving a hand at Elliot. "Now I came to claim my prize." He started to move towards Olivia.

Diaz put a hand on his arm, stopping him. "You did well Jesus." Diaz said. He turned his attention back to Olivia. "Very well. But I've been rethinking our deal."

"What?" said Martinez.

"Well, I didn't appreciate that this cop was such a beautiful woman." Diaz said. "Do you know how much she's worth? How much someone would pay for an hour with a cop?" His eyes dropped down her body and back up again. "Especially one with this body…everyone's fucking dream."

"That wasn't our deal."

Diaz turned back towards him, tearing his eyes from Olivia.

"I'm changing the deal." Diaz said, his voice cold.

Olivia could see that Martinez thought about arguing, but then decided against it. It was almost surreal that these two men were standing her arguing about whose property she was going to be _. I have to get out of here._ She knew Martinez wasn't going to win this argument and if Diaz kept his hands on her, she was at his mercy.

Olivia heard Elliot rasp her name and she knew he could hear the entire conversation. She turned towards him and saw his eyes were half open, but he was barely conscious. She had to get him medical attention.

She turned back towards Diaz. "He needs medical attention."

Diaz looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "You're lucky he's still alive."

Olivia's breath hitched, almost wishing she hadn't drawn any attention to him. As if reading her mind, Diaz pulled his gun and aimed it at Elliot.

"No!" she yelled, moving so her body was between Diaz and Elliot.

Diaz laughed again and lowered the gun. "You know what? I think I'm going to let him live. But only because I think it will kill him to never know what happened to you."

His words slammed into her as Javi grabbed her around the waist again. She started kicking and screaming as he started to drag her out of the room.

Elliot lay on the ground helplessly, watching as she was dragged towards the door. She was screaming his name and he tried to move…tried to do anything but he couldn't seem to get his body to function. He was screaming her name in his mind, but no sound was coming out.

Olivia saw Elliot struggling on the ground and then she saw Carlos move over towards him and land a vicious kick to his ribs. She screamed his name one more time before she was dragged out of the room and she lost sight of him.

She was tossed into the back of a black SVU and Javi climbed in after her. She kicked at him as he climbed in and connected with her jaw, but he grabbed her ankle and twisted her leg, forcing her onto the floor. He placed the bottom of his boot on her lower back and pushed down while he grabbed her hair with his hand and tugged it back viciously, forcing her to look up at him over her shoulder. She gasped in pain as tears sprung to her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up and stop fighting me or you're going to be sorry." He snarled at her. He released her hair and her head snapped forward towards the floor. He kept the pressure on her lower back and she was finding it hard to breath.

She focused on her breathing until the truck started moving. She knew she had to track where they were going. Which direction they headed, where they turned…any key landmarks. She looked up to determine what she could see from this angle without drawing attention to what she was doing.

The next thing she knew, Javi was looming over her again, a knee in her back. She felt a cloth being pressed over her nose and mouth and she tore at his hand with her hands, trying to hold her breath. But she was losing the battle. He was too strong. She could feel herself fading until there was only blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

_Well it seems like quite a few people are enjoying this new story, despite its slightly darker tone vs. my other stories. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It lets me know if I should keep going. Thanks!_

EOEOEOEO

Olivia opened her eyes slowly. Her head was throbbing and her body seemed to hurt all over. The room was dim, and she noticed that the small amount of light was coming in from a small window high on the wall. She turned her head slightly and winced at the pain in her head. She scanned the room and saw there were no other windows and just a single door. She didn't have to check; she was certain it was locked.

A chill washed over her and she felt goosebumps break out on her skin. It was then that she realized that her pants had been removed and she had a moment of panic as she clenched her thighs together. No. Even though her entire body was sore from the abuse she'd received, there was no pain there.

She let out a huge sigh and decided she was going to try to sit up. She rolled over on her side and felt a wave of nausea. She stilled, waiting for it to pass. Her mind felt fuzzy and she wondered briefly if they had drugged her or it if was the after effects of whatever they had used to knock her out. She realized that she had no idea how long she'd been unconscious; if it was even the same day. She had no idea where she was. She could be in an entirely different state…an entirely different country. She knew Diaz's main operations were in Mexico.

 _God, what if they had already smuggled her out of the country?_

She pushed herself up into a sitting position and stopped again as she tried not to puke. When the feeling had passed, she took inventory of the room. She was lying on a double bed. No sheets or blankets. The mattress was worn…stained and torn… and she tried not to think about what the stains were. There was no other furniture in the room and it was cold. She shivered again, thankful that she at least had her t-shirt on. It was dirty and ripped on one side; a result of some of her trip on the floor of the SVU she assumed. She looked around and didn't see her pants anywhere. Or her socks or boots.

She swung her legs around and sat on the edge of the bed. She tried to take inventory of her injuries…or lack thereof. She touched her scalp and it was tender where her hair had practically been ripped from her head. Her fingers trailed down to her cheek and she could feel the tenderness and the swelling where she'd been slapped…twice. Her eye was sore as well and she wondered if she had a black eye. She ran her hands down and noticed her breasts were sore. She could see red bruises in the shape of fingers and knew she had Carlos to thank for that. She moved down to her legs, holding her breath as she ran her hands along her inner thighs. No. Definitely OK.

She knew she was lucky that nothing was broken or that she didn't have any other injuries. She could barely believe that Diaz hadn't let his men attack her…or that he hadn't attacked her himself. She thought about Carlos with his hands on her and she shivered. Suddenly, an image of Elliot popped into her head.

She gasped…the memory of her last image of him seared into her brain. She wondered if he was alive. She didn't know how he could be after such a brutal attack.

 _How long did he lie there after we left? Did someone find him?_

She closed her eyes. He _had_ to be alive. She felt like if he wasn't, she would know. They had a connection. She would definitely feel it. He was alive. She refused to believe otherwise.

And if he was alive, she knew that he'd be in agony not knowing where she was or what was happening to her. Just like Diaz said.

She dropped her head in her hands, letting her mind drift to thoughts of her partner…her best friend. She would die for him…and she knew he would sacrifice himself for her. That was the God's honest truth. They had a bond that defied logic. He knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. He knew her demons…and she knew his. She couldn't imagine life without him.

She had missed him when she was in Oregon. More than she thought she would, and more than she was ever thought she would be willing to admit to herself. It was there that she had finally admitted the truth to herself.

 _She was in love with Elliot Stabler._

She had planned on telling him when she got back. But somehow, things had been such a mess since her return…he had been angry with her for leaving and they couldn't seem to get back to where they'd been. And it made her second guess her decision to tell him. So she hadn't.

Not yet.

Olivia wasn't sure if she believed in God, but she prayed to a higher power that she'd get out of this alive and get back to him. And if she did, she promised she would not let one moment pass before she told him exactly how she felt. Because she was pretty sure he felt the same way. And it was time for them to get out of their own way.

Now she just had to get out of here.

She stood up and waited out another bout of nausea. She looked up at the small window and then looked around the room again. Even if she could get up there, there was no way she would fit through that small window.

The next best thing was some sort of weapon. She looked at the bedframe to see if there was something she could wrench free but there was nothing loose on the old wooden bed. She was still looking under the bed when she heard a key in the lock. She stood up quickly and tugged at her t-shirt, trying to cover herself. Unfortunately, the t-shirt only touched the very tops of her thighs, barely covering her underwear.

The door wrenched open with a groan and she cursed under her breath. There would be no way to sneak out of that door. She saw Carlos standing in the doorway and he dragged his eyes up her body until he met her eyes. She stared at him defiantly, refusing to be cowed by him.

"I have to use the bathroom." She said, suddenly realizing that she really did.

He seemed to consider her request, and then nodded his head out to the hallway. "Don't try anything." He warned. He stepped back as she walked by. "Next door."

Olivia walked into the bathroom and Carlos followed her inside.

"I need some privacy." She said, turning to face him. She was trying to scan the room to see if there was anything she could use as a weapon.

"I'm not leaving you. So pee or don't. I don't care. But I'm not leaving."

The last thing Olivia wanted was to pull her underwear down in front of him, but she really had to use the bathroom.

He took a step towards her. "Need some help?"

She shuddered at the thought of his hands on her again and she put her hand up. "No." She sat down on the toilet, never taking her eyes off him, and pulled her t-shirt down as far as possible. She carefully slid her underwear down only as much as she necessary, making sure she kept herself covered. She finished up and did the same in reverse, thankful once again that she at least had her t-shirt because Carlos never took his eyes off of her.

She stood up. "I need my pants."

Carlos shook his head. "You don't get to make requests." He said. He snagged the front of her t-shirt. "And if you don't shut up, you're going to lose this too." He released her then. "Diaz wants to see you."

Olivia stopped at the sink to wash her hands and she leaned over and cupped her hands, drinking some of the water. She was incredibly thirsty and she thought she must have been out longer than she thought.

Carlos snagged her t-shirt and pulled her away from the sink. "That's enough." He pushed her out of the room roughly and she stumbled a little. She regained her footing only to be pushed down the hall again. The hall opened up into another small room and she saw Diaz sitting behind a scarred, wooden desk. Javi was sitting on an overstuffed floral chair and the room was lit by bright fluorescent lighting. There was wallpaper peeling off the wall, and the only other piece of furniture in the room was a sagging couch that matched the chair.

Carlos pushed her into the room until she was standing a few feet from the desk. Olivia tugged at the t-shirt again; she could feel all three men's eyes on her and she shifted uncomfortably.

Diaz sat back in his chair and steepled his fingers. "How are you feeling Detective?" he asked, a small smile on his face.

Olivia knew he could care less and she remained silent.

He sat forward in his chair, the smile gone. "I don't ask twice. You should have learned that by now."

Olivia felt Carlos move up behind her but Diaz waved him off.

"But I'm feeling generous today. So I'm going to let that one slide." He pointed a finger at her and narrowed his eyes. "But I'm only going to tell you this once. I expect your cooperation. You do what I say, when I say. Or suffer the consequences."

He leaned back in his chair again. "So I'm going to ask you again. How are you feeling?"

Olivia considered not answering him, but decided it wasn't worth risking the consequences. If she was injured, she wouldn't be able to escape.

"I'm fine." She said. She wasn't going to offer up any more than she had to.

"Hungry?" He asked.

She shook her head. She was still nauseous and she didn't think food would help.

"I suppose you would like to know about the other detective we left behind."

Olivia tried not to show interest but she knew her expression probably gave her away.

"That's what I thought." He said, giving her a smile like he was delivering good news. "Well, based on what I hear, I sounds like he's going to make it. But I imagine he's probably going out of his mind right now, wondering what in the hell is happening to you." He held up a photograph. "Especially since I sent your Captain this photo."

Olivia flinched when she saw the photo. It showed her unconscious, sprawled out on the bed in just her bra and panties, her legs parted slightly. She could see the bruises on her face and breasts and a few more marring her lower legs. She knew a photo like that would enrage Elliot…and her entire squad. She wondered what possible reason he could have for sending it.

"The NYPD is fucking with my business. Forcing me to shut down operations. And you and your partner led the fucking crusade. So you're going to pay. And so is he." He narrowed his eyes at her. "This is only the first photo he's going to get."

Olivia swallowed hard at the implication.

"The NYPD isn't going to stand by and let you get away with abducting one of their officers. My partner and my squad won't rest until they hunt you down." She leaned over, placing her hands on his desk. "And when my partner gets his hands on you, he's going to make you pay. He has a temper." She stood up. "Just let me go now and get out of town Diaz. It's the smart thing to do. And I know you're a smart man."

"Appealing to my ego?" He laughed. "No way in hell I'm letting you go." He stood up. "You belong to me now." He said, jabbing a finger in her direction. "So you can forget all about your life before you met me…and that partner of yours. Your ass is mine."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot opened his eyes, and closed them again quickly. The light was too bright and his head was killing him. He opened them again slightly and quickly realized he was in a hospital room.

"Elliot." He heard off to his right and swiveled his head slightly and saw Kathy standing next to the bed. "Thank God."

Elliot closed his eyes and moaned. _Was he dying? Why was Kathy here?_

Then everything came rushing back and he remembered seeing them drag Olivia out of the warehouse, screaming, right before he passed out.

"Olivia." He whispered, her voice just a croak. He turned his head to look at Kathy. "Where's Olivia?"

Kathy hesitated and he saw uncertainty in her face. _She was keeping something from him_.

He tried to sit up but laid back down immediately. The pain was excruciating. He heard alarm bells going off on the monitors but he didn't care and he tore at the IV in his arm. A male and female nurse rushed in and the man grabbed his arm, trying to keep him from ripping out the IV. He fought against him. He needed to get out of here. He had to find Olivia. He was trying to talk but his throat was dry and nothing came out. He felt a stab in his right arm and turned to face the female nurse. He saw her holding a syringe in her hand and he knew it was too late. He felt the edges of blackness and it was seconds before he was out.

The next time he woke up, he noticed two things right away. One, his arms were restrained and two, Cragen had taken Kathy's place.

He tried to say something, but had the same issue as before.

"Water" he whispered and Cragen reached for a glass of water and put the straw up to his lips. Elliot took a few long sips and then let his head fall back on the pillow. His head felt heavy and his mind wasn't clear; he knew he must be on some powerful pain meds.

"Olivia." He whispered.

Cragen put a hand on his arm. "Just calm down Elliot or they're going to knock you out again." He removed his hand and rested it on the railing of the bed. "You've got some serious injuries Elliot. You have a concussion and a deep laceration on your head. It took 18 stitches to close it up. You have three broken ribs, a sprained wrist and a black eye. Most of your body is black and blue. I don't know how you don't have more broken bones."

Cragen rattled off the list of injuries to Elliot and was thankful they had reached the warehouse in time. But he shuddered to think about what injuries Olivia had sustained, and wondered if anyone had given her any medical treatment at all. He was hoping he could get some information from Elliot so he would have some kind of idea what shape she was in when he last saw her. But he knew he had to move forward carefully. In his delirium he had been yelling her name over and over.

 _Olivia. She's screaming. She's screaming. Olivia._

Over and over again until the doctors sedated him.

"Where's Olivia? Is she here? Is she OK?" he asked.

Cragen saw the hopeful look on his face. He knew he had to tell him the truth, and that he wouldn't be able to hold off much longer. Elliot would demand to know.

"Cap'n. Is she going to be OK?"

Cragen sighed. "She's not here Elliot. And I don't know if she's OK. I was hoping you could tell me."

Elliot had a puzzled look on his face and then his memories came back again. "She was screaming." He said, and it was almost like watching the scene in a movie as he remembered what had happened. "She's yelling my name. And I can't move. They're taking her and she's screaming." His head swung back towards Cragen. "You don't have her?"

Cragen shook his head. "When we got to the warehouse, you were the only one there. There was no sign of her except for her jacket, her badge and her radio. And no Diaz."

"He was there. He…They…" He was assaulted with the memories of their hands all over her. "They had their hands all over her…they…"

Cragen put a hand on his arm. He wasn't surprised by what Elliot was saying. The men were sex traffickers. And he had the photo they sent.

"Was she injured?" he asked. He needed to know if she was seriously injured; if she had any hope of making it. She didn't look injured in the photo but who knew what internal injuries she might have sustained.

Elliot shook his head. "I don't think so. I mean, they slapped her around and yanked her hair but I didn't see anything else that would have caused serious injury." He dropped his head. "But there were times I was in and out of consciousness." He tried to sit up again. "How long have I been out? How long has she been missing? Do you have any leads?" He was firing off questions and he heard the alarm bells go off on the monitors again as his blood pressure rose and his heart beat faster. "When can I get out of here? I have to go look for her."

A nurse came rushing into the room and Cragen held up a hand. "I think he's fine. He just got a little excited." She eyed Cragen warily and then looked back at Elliot. She hesitated a moment and left the room.

Cragen gave him a stern look and sighed. "I'll tell you everything I know if you calm down."

Elliot took a deep breath.

"When you didn't show up back at the precinct, I started to get suspicious, so we headed back to the warehouse. It had to be about an hour after my last contact with Olivia on the radio. We found you there, unconscious, and no sign of Olivia or Diaz. We rushed you to the hospital. I called Kathy…I didn't know if I should or not but I wasn't sure how severe your injuries were. You looked like you were near death."

Cragen took a deep breath. "We put out an APB immediately. For Olivia. For Diaz. For his known associates and for every vehicle we know about. We're rousting everyone that we think might have even the smallest connection to Diaz. Dragging them into the precinct and squeezing them for information. There is no way Diaz is getting out of this city with Olivia."

"You have no idea where he is or if Olivia is alive or dead?" Elliot asked, exasperation in his tone. He knew the entire NYPD was out in full force, but it just didn't seem like enough.

"We've heard from him." Cragen said quietly, wondering about the wisdom of telling Elliot.

"Is he asking for a ransom?" Elliot asked, confused as to his motive.

Cragen let out a heavy sigh. "No."

"What did he say? Word for word." Elliot said, narrowing his eyes. "And don't lie to me."

"He sent us a photo of Olivia and a note."

"A photo? Let me see it."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Cragen said. "I left it at the precinct."

"I know you have a copy." Elliot said. "Show it to me and tell me what the note said."

Cragen pulled the photo from his suitcoat slowly and looked at it for a second before he handed it to Elliot.

He saw Elliot's jaw clench as he looked at the photo. His tone was cold as he asked the Captain to tell him what the note said.

"It said… _the NYPD is going to fuck with me? Well guess who's going to get fucked now."_


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for your reviews and comments! I love hearing from you!_

EOEOEOEO

Olivia was being taken back to the bedroom, and she noticed Carlos had taken every opportunity to touch her as they walked down the short hallway. Right before they reached the bedroom, he leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Be a good girl and maybe I'll pay you a visit later." He squeezed her ass and then pushed her into the room, slamming the door behind her. She caught herself on the edge of the bed and listened as she heard the key lock the door.

She sat down on the bed, trying to think through some options. She felt fairly sure that Diaz wasn't going to let Javi or Carlos hurt her. If he was going to let that happen, she felt like it would have happened already. Of course, nothing was certain. And she had no idea why he would choose to spare her. From the stories she had heard from some of the victims, he liked to participate in breaking the girls himself. He was known for being ruthless, having them raped over and over for days by as many men as possible…letting them do whatever they wanted. Just like every other sex trafficker she knew of. She shuddered. It couldn't come to that and she had to stay vigilant.

She could tell it was getting dark out, so she assumed it had been almost 24 hours since they had left the warehouse. She couldn't imagine it would have been any longer. Diaz wasn't stupid enough to hang around the city that long.

Unless she wasn't in New York any more. She remembered she really had no way of knowing where she was. A man like Diaz had connections…private planes…an army of soldiers. Getting one cop across a border was child's play. She walked over to the outside wall and put her ear against it, trying to listen for any street noise or voices. Anything that might give her an indication of where she was.

She thought about what she knew. There were three men in the house; she hadn't seen or heard any more than that. She knew the rough layout of the house or apartment. That was basically it.

She needed some clothes. And she needed some food and water to keep her strength. She had to be vigilant and watch for an opportunity to escape. She knew she would have to make a split second decision and she had to be ready to act. And she had to be prepared for anything she might encounter on the outside. For all she knew, she was in a large compound that was all owned by Diaz.

She thought about how to proceed. She was fairly certain they wouldn't give her any clothes. But Diaz had asked if she was hungry.

She moved to the door and pounded loudly. It only took a few seconds before she heard the key in the lock. The door swung open and she saw Carlos standing there. "Shut the fuck up!" he yelled at her.

"I'm hungry." Olivia said, refusing to show fear. "I need some food. And water."

Carlos yelled down the hall, telling Diaz about her request. Carlos turned back towards her and nodded towards the hallway, and Olivia slid past him and walked back down to the living room.

Diaz motioned for her to sit on the couch, and she did. She tucked her legs beneath her and tugged at her t-shirt. It was getting colder in the house/apartment and she knew she was going to be freezing tonight.

Olivia saw Carlos disappear into what had to be the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with a bottle of water and a sandwich. It appeared to be one of those sandwiches you get from a convenience store, but without the wrapper, she had no indication where it came from. She took the items from him and ate the sandwich quickly. She sipped the bottle of water and tried to listen in as the three of them huddled around the desk talking quietly.

They were distracted and weren't paying any attention to her. She wondered if she had any chance to take all three of them since she had the element of surprise. She sighed. Despite all of her training, she knew it wasn't likely. And if they beat the hell out of her, she really wouldn't have a chance to escape. No. She had to be rational. Wait for the right time.

Diaz looked up and saw her looking at them intently. He scowled. "Take her back to her room." He snarled.

Carlos stood up and walked over to where she sat on the couch. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up before she could get up and she stumbled against him slightly. She pushed herself away quickly, but not before Carlos sneered at her. He looked over his shoulder at Diaz. "See what I mean? The whore wants me. Can't keep her hands off me."

"Don't lay a hand on her Carlos. Or it'll be the last thing you do."

Olivia was happy to hear that she'd been right. But her happiness was short-lived.

"I've got big plans for her. I don't want her marked up. You can't believe what people are willing to pay…"

Olivia swiveled around and stared at him, narrowing her eyes.

Diaz sat back and smiled at her, holding up the photo he'd shown her before. "You think this is the only photo we took of you while you were unconscious?" He laughed. "Everyone wants to say fuck you to the police, and what better way than to fuck one? When I heard a female cop was on the job, I got excited at the prospect the opportunity that presented. But when I saw you in person…well…that made it even better. Because that body of yours is just a bonus…and the things you're going to do with that mouth. I almost thought about keeping you for myself. But the offers I've been getting have made me rethink that." He laughed then. "You're going to the highest bidder. What do you think about that?'

Olivia was terrified and enraged at the same time. She knew she wasn't in imminent danger…she knew the NYPD was out searching for her or she would find a way to escape before Diaz shipped her to some godforsaken place. She had to believe that. The alternative was too terrifying to consider.

But she was enraged about the situation she found herself in…and for all of the terrified victims that came before her.

"I think you're a sadistic egomaniac. And I'm going to enjoy arresting you and sending you to prison, where you can be someone else's bitch and see how all of your victim's felt." She lashed out, venom in her voice.

Diaz bolted up from his chair and came around the desk and his hand was wrapped around her throat in seconds. "You bitch! Don't you dare talk to me like that!" He swung her around so she was facing the desk and his hand slid around to the back of her neck, forcing her head down on the desk. He kicked her legs apart and pressed his body up against hers.

"Show her who's boss." She heard Carlos and Javi cheering him on and her body started to shake as she felt his hand on her hip. He leaned over her slightly and rocked himself hard against her ass.

Olivia tried to push herself up with her arms, but he slammed her head down on the desk and she tried to brace herself with her hands. The last thing she wanted to do was pass out. She couldn't believe this was happening. She'd been so certain she was going to be OK. She'd been too cocky; too cavalier. These men were rapists. Why had she thought she could challenge him that way?

 _Elliot._ Her mind drifted to thoughts of him. Think of Elliot and not about what's happening.

She felt Diaz rock into her again and his hand grasped the waistband of her panties. "You're going to learn to control that goddamn mouth of yours and who's in charge."

Olivia struggled against him but he held her firm. There was no escape and no way to take her mind off of what was happening right now.

"I'm sorry." She gasped out. "Please don't. Please don't." She heard herself begging him.

Her pleas were interrupted by a knock at the door and Diaz released her suddenly. She wasn't expecting it and she slid to the floor, her shaky legs refusing to hold her up. She saw all three men had guns drawn, and Javi was moving towards the door.

She said a silent prayer that it was the police, but knew she shouldn't get her hopes up. The police wouldn't be knocking. But maybe, just maybe, this distraction would provide an opportunity for her to escape.

She watched as Javi looked through the peephole and he relaxed as he turned back towards Diaz. "It's Martinez." He said and she saw Diaz nod. Her hope faded away.

He looked back down at Olivia, who was still sitting on the floor. "I'm not done with you, but I have business to attend to." He looked at Carlos. "Take her back to the bedroom."

Carlos grabbed her arm tightly and hauled her to her feet. Olivia's legs wouldn't cooperate; she was still shaking from her attack by Diaz. Carlos dragged her down the hallway and threw her onto the bed, slamming and locking the door. Olivia curled into a ball, still shaking. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to think of something else. Her mind wandered to Elliot. She wondered if he was OK, and where he was right now. But mostly, she wondered if she would ever see him again.

EOEOEOEO

"I have to get out of here." Elliot said, trying to pull at the IV in the arm that was restrained. "Why the fuck is this arm tied down?" With his left wrist sprained though, he couldn't get the restraint off and it was making him even angrier.

"You were trying to rip out your IV; you were yelling and screaming and they needed to keep your arm in place." Cragen said.

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "Get the nurse. I'm signing myself out of here."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Cragen said. "You need to rest Elliot. Give your body time to recover." He knew he was talking to a brick wall right now, but he had to try. He couldn't have Elliot involved in the search.

"You think I'm going to fucking sit here in the hospital while Olivia is out there with that sick bastard? Who knows what the hell he's doing to her right now!" The volume of his voice increased as he spoke. He was getting more agitated and the nurse came rushing into the room. She stopped at the end of the bed, looking between her patient and his visitor.

"Sir, I think you should leave." She said. She had listened to him once before, but her first concern was her patient.

Elliot ignored her. "I'm signing myself out of here!" He said angrily to the nurse. "Get the paperwork."

"Sir, we're recommending you stay in the hospital at least overnight. You have a concussion…"

Elliot cut her off. "I know all of that. But I'm not staying here. Get the papers." His tone was calmer but there was no mistaking his intent. He turned to the Captain. "I'm going after her Captain and nothing you say is going to stop me. I failed her. I was supposed to protect her and I let that bastard take her. She was _screaming_ my name!" He couldn't get the sound out of his head. It would haunt him until the moment he found her.

"I can't let that happen and you know why." Cragen said, his tone calm. "It's too personal."

"Your goddamn right it's personal!" Elliot yelled, finally loosening the restraint and ripping the IV out of his arm. "She's my partner! She's my… She's my…" He stopped. "She's everything to me!" He was tearing off the rest of the monitoring equipment and his voice was near hysteria. "She's fucking _everything_. I l _ove_ her!"

He looked up and saw Kathy had entered the room. He saw by the look on her face that she had heard every word he had said but he didn't care. She was his ex-wife and if she suspected that her suspicions over the years were true, he didn't really give a shit right now. He would deal with that later.

Cragen turned from her back to Elliot. He put a hand on his shoulder as Elliot struggled to control his rage. "And that's exactly why you can't be involved."

Elliot climbed out of bed and his hand went to his ribs. The pain was bad, but he wasn't going to let them stop him. He went to the closet, looking for his clothes. "You know what? I don't really give a shit what you say right now." He dug out a bag that was sitting on the floor and pulled out his bloody and torn clothing. He held them in his hands and was suddenly overwhelmed with despair. Olivia could be anywhere in the city…anywhere in the world. It was their _business_ to make people disappear.

The mental image of Olivia with those men were more than he could bear. Normally at times like this, he wanted to rage…to beat his fists against the wall. But now the only thing he felt was an ice cold stabbing pain in his heart. He felt something inside of him break and a huge sob tore from his throat.

He looked up and saw Cragen and Kathy staring at him.

"What if we don't find her?" he said, his voice barely a whisper.

Cragen took a few steps towards him. "We're going to find her." He said. "We will." He closed the gap between them and put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. He knew the rage would come back, but for now, he knew he needed some affirmation that they were doing everything they could to find her.

"Let's find you some scrubs and then I'll take you back to the station and we can go over everything we have so far."

Kathy held up a bag she had in her hand. "I stopped at your apartment." She said quietly. "I thought you might need some things."

Elliot walked over to where she was standing and took the bag from her. He hugged her in an awkward one armed hug, being careful of his sprained wrist and his ribs. "Thank you." He whispered in her ear.

Kathy wrapped her arms around Elliot and gave him a hug. "I know you'll find her. And Olivia's strong. I know she's going to be OK."

Elliot was grateful to her for saying it. He knew she had a love/hate relationship with Olivia over the years. He knew it couldn't have been easy for her to rely on someone to protect your husband when you had your doubts about their personal attachment.

The nurse came in with the paperwork and he broke his hug with Kathy and snatched the papers from her hand.

"Mr. Stabler. I have to advise you…" She started, but Elliot stopped her.

"Just give me a pen."

"But I need to go through these with you." She looked over at the Captain, as if recognizing he was someone in authority.

"I'll take responsibility." He said. "Just give it to him."

She handed Elliot the pen with a sigh and he signed the papers in ten seconds flat. He grabbed the bag of clothes and ripped off his hospital gown. He pulled his clothes on and the nurse handed him a copy of the paperwork along with a sling for his arm and a prescription for painkillers.

He was out of the room two seconds after that and Cragen had no choice but to follow him out. Kathy watched them go and said a silent prayer for Olivia. Because no one should have to go through the hell she was probably going through now, and because she knew if something happened to Olivia, Elliot wouldn't survive.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up suddenly, and tried to remember where she was. It all came rushing back to her, and she looked around the pitch black room to try to find the source of whatever woke her. She didn't hear anything immediately and she sat up. Her skin was cold to the touch and she shivered. She pulled her arms out of the sleeves of her t-shirt and folded them across her bare stomach, trying to warm them. Her feet were like blocks of ice and they tingled when she set them on the ground.

She heard it then. Loud voices. Arguing. She moved to the door as best she could on her cold feet, and put her ear to the door. She heard Diaz, and then Carlos. She heard two other distinct voices, but she didn't think they belonged to Javi or Martinez. She couldn't be certain. The argument continued but she couldn't make out what they were saying. The only thing she knew for sure was that the argument was dominated by Diaz and one of the voices she didn't recognize.

Her ears perked up when she was able to decipher the word "NYPD." _Was it possible that they were still in New York City? Was her squad closing in?_ She tried not to get her hopes up but she knew that if they were still in the city, her chances of being found were a hell of a lot higher than if she was in Mexico or some other country.

She kept listening but she couldn't make out anything else, except for the fact that the conversation seemed to be getting more heated, and more people were involved. They were all yelling over each other and she let out a frustrated sigh. From where she was behind the door, it was just a roar and she wasn't going to learn anything important.

She ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to return some warmth to her limbs. She sat down on the bed and pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and dropping her head on her knees. She had a headache and she knew she was dehydrated. She should have asked for more water and a blanket.

Listening to the voices out in the main room, she knew that wasn't going to happen now. Even if she pounded on the door, she doubted they would hear her. She sat like that for a few seconds, unsure what to do next.

Wait a minute. _They wouldn't be able to hear her._

She sat up and dropped her legs down on the bed. As she was walking back to this room, she had noticed there were other rooms down the hallway past hers. What if there was a way out? What if the door wasn't locked? She couldn't remember hearing the key turn in the lock. They would never hear the groan of the door over their argument.

She jumped off the bed and moved quickly to the door. She twisted the knob slowly and she felt a glimmer of hope when the knob turned completely in her hand. She braced the door with her other hand so it would open slowly, but it wouldn't budge when she tugged at the doorknob. She pulled a little harder, but it wouldn't give. She debated how loud it would be if she put all of her weight into it. She paused for a moment, and still heard the voices in a heated debate. She readjusted her hand on the doorknob and yanked as hard as she could, but the door didn't move. She moved her hand on the door a little higher to try to improve her leverage and her heart sank as her fingers grazed the cold metal of a deadbolt.

She hadn't noticed it before. And in the dark room now, she hadn't seen it.

She felt like screaming. She sank down on the floor and rested her forehead against the door. She had nothing to pick the lock…no way out of this damned room.

She had to get out of the room or she would never be able to escape.

When they were done talking, she would pound on the door and make some excuse for getting out of this prison. Or maybe she would wait awhile. Let them cool down. She had no idea what they had been arguing about, but it had gone on for a long time and she didn't want to catch them in a bad mood.

She tuned in to the voices again, and belatedly realized that they'd stopped talking. She heard a door slam, and then footsteps…and she quickly realized the footsteps were headed in her direction. _Shit._

She scrambled backwards as she heard the key in the door, and tried to get to her feet but Javi was in the room before she could even stand up. She could see anger written all over his face as he loomed over her and wrapped his hand around her bicep, yanking her up on to her feet.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked. He pushed her towards the door. "Get moving. It's show time."


	4. Chapter 4

Elliot walked slowly into the squad room, his broken ribs causing pain whenever he moved. The room was vacant and he felt a stab of disappointment that everyone wasn't here to work on finding Olivia.

Cragen must have read his mind. "Everyone's out following up on every possible lead. No one has slept. No one is going to stop until we find her." He put a hand on Elliot's shoulder. "I know you love her Elliot, but we do too. Olivia is the heart of SVU. We're her family. We won't let her down."

He motioned towards a table. "Sit down and I'll go over what we know so far."

Elliot sat down and Cragen started to go through the files. He rehashed some of the information he already knew. It was a horrifying litany of lives destroyed. And even though Elliot wanted to hear it all, he couldn't stop thinking about what Olivia might be going through right now. She was strong and well trained; she was incredibly smart. But he knew she didn't have her gun, and that she would be no match for those men physically. If they did to her what they did to these other women to break them…

"Elliot."

His head snapped up and he realized he had been lost in thought and hadn't been listening to what Cragen was saying.

But Cragen knew what was on his mind. "You can't think like that."

"But she can't overpower three men with guns. Maybe more. They could have drugged her. She could be tied up."

"Stop it!" Cragen practically roared because he had been working hard to keep those exact same images out of his mind. "We have to stay focused."

"You're right." Elliot said. "Keep going with what we've learned from the leads we have." He grunted in pain as he shifted in his seat and he swallowed some more Tylenol. He wasn't going to take the pain meds they had prescribed. They would knock him out and that wasn't going to happen. Cragen started talking and they poured over every interview and every lead they'd had.

When they were done, Elliot looked at his watch. It was 3 AM. They had been reviewing these files for hours. He knew it had been late afternoon when they stormed the warehouse, so Olivia had been missing for almost 36 hours now.

Fin and Munch walked back into the squad room just a few minutes later, and Munch headed for the coffee machine and poured a cup before he and Fin sat down next to Elliot and the Captain.

"Hey man. How you holding up?" asked Fin. As much as he didn't really like Elliot all that much, he knew the man had to be going out of his mind.

"Just tell me you found something." Elliot said. He knew by the dejected looks on their faces that they hadn't.

"It's like this guy vanished into thin air." Munch said. "People are definitely afraid of him. No one's talking."

"So we think he's gone? Left the city already?"

Munch shrugged. "I don't know. He has a pretty large organization here, so I know it would take a while to close that down. But he was working on it already. I mean, that warehouse was bare. Clean. They had wiped it down. No evidence except some of your blood and Olivia's things." He took a sip of coffee. "And kidnapping an NYPD officer is pretty brazen. I can't imagine he would stay in the city."

"Yeah, except the guy has an ego like no one else. He probably thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants and get away with it." Said Fin.

"Yeah, and he is definitely enjoying this. He's rubbing it in our faces. Sending us photos of Liv. He knows were searching for her but it's just a game to him." Munch chimed in again.

"Photos?" Elliot said. He turned towards Cragen. "We got more photos of Liv?"

Cragen shot Munch a look, pissed that he had let that slip. "We just got one more about an hour ago. It's pretty much the same as the other one. She doesn't appear to be hurt."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Elliot said. "Are you holding back other information?" He was yelling now. He slammed his hand down on the table. "Goddamnit. You don't get to keep stuff from me. This is _Olivia._ _My_ partner." He stood up. "I want to see it."

Cragen shook his head. "You don't need to see it." He knew seeing the photo would send Elliot into a blind rage.

"Are you fucking joking right now? Show me the goddamned photo or I'm going to tear this precinct apart until I find it." Elliot gritted his teeth. "Show me."

Cragen looked at Munch and he opened his desk drawer, retrieving the photo. He sighed heavily as he handed it to Elliot.

Elliot sank down in his chair as he looked at the photo. The photo was nothing like the one before. Olivia was still unconscious and still stripped down to her bra and underwear, but this time, her hands were bound to the frame of the bed and a man was in the photo, stripped down to a pair of briefs. He was kneeling between her legs as he loomed over her. Whoever had taken the photo had made sure to get enough of her so they could see she was unconscious and practically naked, but not enough of the man to show any distinguishing features except for a tattoo on his left arm. His face was hidden.

Cragen let out a heavy sigh. "The photo doesn't mean anything. He's taunting us." It was hard to look at the photo and not wonder what happened next. After the photo was taken. He wondered if there would be more.

"Do we know who he is?" Elliot said, his jaw still clenched but his tone an eerie calm.

"We think his name is Javier Garcia. We looked through mugshots and found the tattoo." Cragen said. "We pulled a long sheet on him. It's what you'd expect."

"Javi." Said Elliot. "This is the guy that was kicking the shit out of me. Do you have a mug shot?"

Cragen handed him a photo.

"That's him." Said Elliot.

"Well, he has worked for Diaz for a long time. It's good to have positive confirmation, but I don't know that it gets us anywhere."

A uniform came rushing into the squad room, waving a sheet of paper. "We got a tip. Some woman in the Bronx was complaining about a loud argument going on and said she's fed up with the stuff that's been going on next door. Detectives followed up and found out she's been suspicious of activity in the house for quite a while but that it's been getting worse. They showed her a photo of Diaz and some of his known associates and she identified your CI, Martinez. She thinks she saw him go into the house last night."

Elliot jumped up. "Let's go."

Cragen held out his hands. "Hold on. We have to confirm and come up with a plan. We can't just go storming in there."

"Like hell." Elliot said. "Every second we wait could make a big difference."

"You want to go in half-cocked and get her killed?" Cragen yelled, knowing he had to get Elliot under control. He wanted to move as quickly as possible, but they had to have a plan. They had to bring in the SWAT team. And they had to have reasonable assurance that this was where Olivia was being held. "Listen to me. It looks like maybe we got lucky here. But we don't even know if that's where she's being held. It was one woman identifying one man. For all we know, it could be his mom's house."

Elliot fisted his hands. He knew Cragen was right but not doing anything was killing him.

The uni was still standing there. "Detective Murphy is waiting for direction. Here's his cell number." He handed Cragen the info and the Captain pulled out his phone and dialed the number right away. "Cragen here. I want you to tell me everything you have." He put the phone on speaker and set it down on the table, and Murphy proceeded to relay all the information he had.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia tried to regain her footing as Javi dragged her out of the room, but her feet were freezing and her body wasn't cooperating and he had no patience. She stumbled and he lost his hold on her and she fell to the ground. He lifted his boot and gave her a swift kick in her thigh and she cried out as pain shot through her. "Stupid bitch."

She looked up and saw Carlos walking towards them. "What's the problem here?" he asked.

"Stupid whore isn't listening." He said. He lifted his foot to give her another kick but Carlos put his hand on.

"Boss said not to mark her up. He wants her looking good for tonight."

Javi let out a frustrated sound as his foot hit the ground. "Well, she's already a fucking mess." He motioned down at her. "Look at her."

Olivia looked back and forth between them, uncertain if she should get up or stay put. She couldn't see a weapon on Javi, but Carlos had a gun in his hand. She wondered if she could possibly grab it while they were arguing and shoot them both. She swallowed hard, trying to calculate her best option for reaching it quickly and getting a shot off. But before she even had another second to consider, Carlos had wrapped a hand around her bicep and was hauling her up off the ground.

"You need a shower." He said, pushing her towards the bathroom. He turned to Javi. "Go get that dress the boss wants her to wear."

Olivia had stopped a few steps outside the bathroom, holding her thigh and gently rubbing the spot where Javi had kicked her. As much as a nice warm shower sounded wonderful to her freezing cold body, there was no way she was taking her clothes off.

"Get in there." Carlos said, waving the gun at her. Olivia hesitated and she could see the scowl on his face. "You're not going to give me any trouble now are you?"

She was mad at herself for her hesitation earlier. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly. The small amount of food and water, and the cold, was affecting her ability to think. She looked at Carlos and saw she was now alone with him, and that he didn't seem to have a very good grip on the gun. She wished for some kind of distraction. He didn't perceive her as a threat, so if he was distracted then maybe she could get it.

He shoved her with his left hand. "Get the fuck in there. I'm not going to tell you again." He pushed her again and she moved into the bathroom. He shut the door behind them and her mind was racing. He was going to force her to take a shower while he watched her.

No fucking way. _Think Benson_. There had to be some way out of this. She was out of the locked room and it was one on one. This was her best chance of getting out of here.

"I'm not going to take a shower with you in here. I need some privacy." She said. She knew there was no way he would comply, but she had to try. She had to play the part.

Carlos snorted. "I told you that you don't get to make demands. Now get in the fucking shower."

Olivia pulled the old shower curtain aside and looked inside the tub. There was mold and mildew everywhere and she shuddered at the filth. She didn't even want to stand in there with her bare feet. She looked at the shower curtain. It was old with some kind of faded floral pattern on it, but at least it wasn't see through.

She turned on the water and tried to adjust the temperature. She ran her hand beneath the spray and it was ice cold. She hoped that if she let it run for a few minutes, there would be some warm water. She turned and looked at Carlos and saw he was about only about four feet away from her, leaning up against the counter and watching her. He had his arms crossed and she could see the gun was still in his right hand as it rested over his left arm.

She took in a deep breath. This was it. Her one chance. She had no illusions about his nature; he was involved in a ruthless sex ring, and had no doubt raped hundreds of women. But she also knew that he wouldn't cross Diaz. So if Diaz told her she wasn't to be physically injured, he wouldn't.

She played with the hem of her t-shirt. "So…" she said, pasting a fake smile on her face. She dropped her head slightly and looked up at him through her eyelashes. "I was thinking…" She was trying to sound seductive and she hoped he couldn't hear the tremor in her voice. It took all of her concentration to look him in the eyes and not to look at the gun.

He narrowed his eyes at her but didn't move.

She took a few steps towards him, putting a little sway in her hips. She still had her hands on the hem of her t-shirt and she lifted it up and over her head, so she was standing in just her bra and panties. "I thought maybe we could be friends." She saw his eyes drop to her breasts and she thought maybe…just maybe…she could pull this off. She only needed to distract him enough to grab the gun.

She pulled her bottom lip under her top teeth and took a few steps closer, trailing her fingers across the swell of her breasts. "You've been nicer to me than the others." She was just a half a foot away from him now and his eyes met hers again. She saw a small smile on his face and he dropped his crossed arms, letting them fall to his side. Then his free hand came up and rested on her waist.

Olivia was breathing heavily. Carlos probably thought it was desire but she knew it was nerves.

 _This was working._

She splayed her hand across his chest, inwardly cringing at the thought of having to kiss him. Carlos ran his hand up her side and then over her shoulder and toyed with the strap of her bra. He leaned in slightly and she saw the look in his eyes. She tried not to shudder.

She closed her eyes, waiting for him to make a move as she felt his hand slide down towards her breast. She could feel his breath on her face and she had to fight the urge not to move away from him.

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot?" Her eyes shot open as he shoved her hard against her chest. She stumbled backwards but her thigh was still in agony and she completely lost her balance. The back of her knees hit the edge of the bathtub and she fell in, grabbing the shower curtain and ripping it from the pole as she tumbled into the tub. She smacked her head on the tile wall and was out.

The bathroom door flew open a half minute later and Javi ran in. Diaz barged in behind him and shoved Javi and Carlos aside and looked down at Olivia lying in the tub. Her legs were still over the edge and the shower curtain was tangled beneath her. The water was pouring down on her body and there was blood mixing in with the water from where her head was resting against the opposite wall.

"You dumb fucks! What the hell happened?" He turned on Carlos. "You can't handle a fucking woman?" He was enraged.

"She was coming on to me. She was trying to get my gun." He said, trying to defend himself.

Diaz didn't care about his excuse. "How the fuck am I supposed to take video now? I told you I needed to have her in top form for our little show tonight and this is what I get?" He grabbed Carlos gun from his hand and pointed it at him. "I should fucking kill you."

Carlos steeled himself. He, Javi and Martinez had already argued with him tonight about his plan for this cop. About the risks he was taking by staying in the city. They thought he should get out of town now, with or without her. But Diaz and a couple of his other top soldiers made sure they knew who was boss. Who made the decisions. And now he knows he fucked up again.

Diaz drew his arm back and whipped Carlos in the head with the gun. Carlos was knocked out cold and fell to the ground, hitting his head on the toilet bowl on the way down. Javi looked down at him and then back at Diaz.

"Get her out of there." Diaz said.

"And do what with her?"

"Do I have to do every goddamn thing around here myself? Figure it out!" Diaz stormed out of the bathroom. His plans for his little show tonight were ruined and now he was pissed off. He knew Carlos and the others had been right. He needed to get out of this city. But he was furious with the NYPD. Trying to shut down his operation. They didn't know how they were fucking with. He had just needed one more day. Now that plan was ruined.

He knew the NYPD would have a hard time tracking them down, but he also knew they wouldn't quit. The pressure was getting intense and it was only going to get worse. It wasn't safe to stay here anymore. He had a decision to make now. He could wait and see what kind of shape the woman was in when she woke up and then hopefully go ahead with the show and subsequent sale, or he could get out of town and take her along, delaying his plan for a few more days. Or he could kill her and escape without the baggage taking her along would bring.

He had reached his desk and stood there. He didn't like it when things didn't go as planned. He let out a loud growl and swiped all of the items off his desk, sending everything clattering to the floor. "Fuck!"

Javi heard the commotion and hustled into action. He needed to get her situated and then get the hell out of Diaz's way. He reached in and turned off the shower. He looked around for a towel but he didn't see one. He rushed out of the bathroom and went into one of the bedrooms down the hall. He didn't see any towels so he pulled a bedspread off the bed. He ran back into the bathroom and laid it out on the floor. He leaned in and scooped Olivia out of the tub, struggling a little with her dead weight and slippery body. He half dropped, half laid her on top of the bedspread and then wrapped it around her. He bent down and lifted her in his arms, and then walked towards the bedroom they had been holding her in. He lay her down on the bed and turned to walk out. He hesitated and looked back at her.

He had heard what Carlos had said about her trying to escape. _Not on my watch_.

He walked into the living room to find the rope they had used to tie her up before. He looked around and didn't see Diaz in the room and he let out a sigh of relief. He grabbed the rope and walked back to where Olivia was lying. She was still unconscious. He looped the rope around her wrists and then through the frame of the bed above her head, making sure they were tight. He leaned over slightly and was glad that he could hear her breathing. With the light from the hallway, he could see a slight rise and fall of her chest. He breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn't want to have to tell Diaz she was dead. He left the bedspread wrapped around her loosely, her legs sticking out from the end. He considered tying her ankles together but decided it wasn't necessary.

She wasn't going anywhere. He chuckled to himself. At least not yet.


	5. Chapter 5

A couple more hours had passed as Cragen and the team worked to learn as much as they could about the house they suspected was housing Diaz and his crew. And Olivia.

The woman that had filed the complaint was at the Bronx police station when Cragen, Fin, Munch and Elliot arrived. The SVU Captain, a man named Brinks, had his whole squad assembled and they went over the information the woman had provided. They had quietly canvassed the rest of the neighborhood, but no one else knew anything. Or wouldn't admit to it.

"Did she identify Olivia? Did she see her?" Elliot asked when Captain Brinks finished his summary in front of everyone.

Brinks shook his head. "No. She never saw her going in or coming out of the house."

"She has to be there." Elliot insisted.

Brinks raised a hand. "We have probable cause to believe she's there. We have visited his other know safe houses and warehouses that we know about, and they're all empty. He's really been cleaning up and covering his tracks. We have a search warrant."

Elliot jumped out of his chair and groaned. He held his ribs while he spoke. "Then what are we waiting for?" He grabbed his vest off the back of the chair and started to slowly slide it over his arms.

"We're waiting for the SWAT team to assemble and set up the command station near the house. We will be heading out just as soon as we go over the attack plan." He motioned for Elliot to sit back down and he did. He ran through the rest of the plan, but Elliot was becoming increasingly impatient.

Cragen could see that he was practically jumping out of his skin. He let out a heavy sigh, unsure what to do with him. He knew that he would insist on being there when they stormed the house, but he didn't trust that Elliot around Diaz and the other men that were holding Olivia. If he seriously injured them, they could end up getting off scot-free with what they'd done. And if he ended up killing them…

Cragen walked over to where Elliot was sitting and put a hand on his shoulder. Elliot jumped and turned towards him. Cragen motioned for Elliot to follow him out into the hallway.

"Are we going?" Elliot asked, barely able to contain his impatience. "This is taking too damn long! Every minute we waste here is a minute they could be…" He couldn't even finish the sentence. The last photo they received was stuck in his head. "We have to go NOW."

"Elliot. I can't let you go into the house." Cragen said.

"What!?"

"I shouldn't even allow you to be at the scene." Cragen snapped. "But against my better judgment, I'm letting you come." He knew he couldn't stop him.

"Captain." Elliot started to argue but Cragen interrupted me.

"It's not negotiable. You will stay with me at the perimeter until we have the suspects in custody." He could see Elliot was struggling with control. The veins were popping out on his neck and his face was red as he tried to rein in his anger.

Elliot was seething. He wanted to find these bastards. He wanted to make them pay. He wanted to bash their skulls in. If they had hurt her in any way, he was going to kill them with his bare hands.

"Tell me you understand. Or I'm going to lock you in a cell here."

Elliot nodded, knowing his agreement was the only way he was getting to the crime scene. But he also knew that there was nothing that was going to stop him from going into that house and finding Olivia.

The squad broke shortly after and Fin and Munch walked up, ready to go.

"Let's go get her." Said Munch and they headed out with the rest of the team.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia opened her eyes slowly and saw a weak light coming through the window. She closed them again. Her head was pounding and her brain felt fuzzy. She felt cold. She tried to move her arms but something was wrong. It took her a minute to realize that they were tied above her head.

Her memory suddenly came rushing back. She'd been in the bathroom. She'd been trying to get the gun from Carlos. He hadn't fallen for it and he had shoved her. She remembered falling backwards and a sharp pain as her head hit the wall. And then nothing.

She struggled against the ropes, panicking at the thought of being tied up. But she felt weak. And cold. So, so cold. She felt her eyes close again. She didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

She had always considered herself a strong person. Independent. Smart. She had been taking care of herself for so long, she couldn't remember a time when she hadn't. She didn't need anyone. If anyone tried to get close, she pushed them away. She didn't want to relinquish control to anyone else. She could take care of herself. She didn't need anyone.

She felt a tear escape from beneath her closed lid and trail down her cheek.

She thought about her life. She thought about Elliot.

She thought that maybe she was wrong. _She needed him_.

She felt another tear escape and she cursed herself for being so weak. She tugged weakly at the ropes. She had to figure out a new plan. She had to get out of here. She had to tell Elliot how she felt. That if there was anyone in the world that she wanted to share her life with, it was him. She would stop being afraid and she would let him love her. And she would give herself over to him unconditionally.

She pulled at the ropes around her wrists and kicked her legs weakly. But every move jostled her brain; she literally felt like her head was going to explode. She felt her mind drifting…everything was still so fuzzy. Maybe she would just rest a little. And then she faded into blackness.

EOEOEOEOEO

They were standing at the command center just a block from the house. They were around the corner, but they had a good vantage point and could see the house clearly. They didn't see any activity. It was early morning, and they were hoping that most of the men in the house would be asleep. They were all suited up and Brinks was reviewing the plan. Elliot had already lost his patience and he was shifting from one foot to the other. If they didn't get moving in less than 10 seconds, he was going in by himself.

When Brinks gave the signal, the SWAT team started moving towards the house, followed by the uniforms and detectives from Bronx and Manhattan SVU. He saw Fin and Munch in the mix and noticed Cragen was watching from in front of his sedan. Elliot was standing at his side and Cragen kept checking to make sure he stayed in place.

They watched as the team got in position and Brinks gave the signal. The bashed the door down and the team swarmed into the house. Elliot tensed as the next few minutes unfolded. He didn't know what was going to happen. Takedowns like this were unpredictable and he could only hope that Olivia wasn't in the line of fire.

It was only two minutes later when Elliot heard Cragen's radio crackle.

"One suspect detained. One suspect dead. No Diaz. Repeat. No Diaz. One female victim. We need medics in here stat."

Elliot didn't wait to hear any more. He raced for the house, ignoring the searing pain from his ribs as he ran. He stormed in the front door before the EMT's could even make it inside. He stopped for a second, his eyes taking in the scene in front of him. He saw Javi kneeling on the floor, his hands cuffed behind his back, and surrounded by officers. His rage spiked and he wanted nothing more than to obliterate him. But he saw the EMT's making their way past him and down the hall and he raced down the hall. If it wasn't her…he didn't know what he was going to do.

He reached the doorway and saw the small room filled with people. He saw Brinks and Fin, and then Munch. They were blocking his view and the EMT's were moving into the room. He hesitated at the door, unsure if he was ready for what he was about to see. But it only lasted a moment as he rushed into the room. Munch turned to him and took a step towards him. "It's her. And she's alive. But…"

Elliot pushed past him and then he saw her lying on the bed. His heart stopped as he took in a sight that he knew he would never, ever be able to forget. Or forgive himself for.

Her hands were bound above her head and she was wrapped loosely in some kind of blanket. But he could see that she was stripped down to her underwear and her skin was pale. Deathly pale. Her hair was matted and her eye make-up smeared. She had bruises and a few cuts, and he saw a small pool of blood by her head.

She looked broken. Battered. Defenseless.

Words he never associated with her.

The EMT's were on the other side of the bed, and they were taking her vital signs and looking at the wound on her head.

Elliot reached for her. The EMT shot him a look but he just _had_ to touch her. To know she was real. He touched her cheek gently. It was so cold.

"Is she…is she breathing?" He asked. He willed her to open her eyes.

"Yes." Said the EMT. "Breathing is shallow. Pulse is thready. Body temp is down. She's lost some blood."

His hand left her cheek as the medics continued their work. He tried to tug the blanket over her. He didn't like to see her so exposed.

"Don't move her." One of the medics barked out. He let out a frustrated sound but let it go. He moved up to the head of the bed and took her hands in his. They were slightly blue and he held them between his. She was just too fucking cold. "You need to cut these ropes! Now!"

Munch reached for his arm and tried to hold him back. "You know they need to check her over before they do that. They don't want to aggravate any injuries."

"That's fucking ridiculous. We can't leave her like this." Elliot yelled.

"Just another minute." One of the EMT's said. "We're checking for broken bones."

"You have to let them do their job." Munch said.

Elliot heard what he was saying but seeing her like this was killing him. He heard Cragen come into the room, and the audible gasp that followed.

"Get some of these people out of the room." He barked and he heard Fin ushering some of the officers out.

Cragen looked over at Munch, his eyebrows raised, as he approached the bed. He put a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"She's alive." Elliot said, his voice choked with emotion. He looked over at the EMT's. "Did they…? Was she raped?" He choked on the word.

The EMT's ignored him as they worked to find a vein and start an IV.

Cragen spoke softly next to him. "You know they won't give her a full exam until she gets to the hospital."

"OK." Said one of the medics said, interrupting him. "Cut her arms loose."

Suddenly Fin was there with a knife and he cut the ropes that were attached to the bedframe while gently holding her arms so they wouldn't drop suddenly. He expertly cut at the rope around each wrist and her arms were free. He brought them down over her body and Elliot took them in his hands again.

"Olivia." He said softly. "Can you hear me?"

She didn't move; didn't respond in any way. Her hands were limp in his. He saw the EMT's packing up their gear and move out of the room. He heard the noise as they tried to get the gurney into the room. But the doorway was too narrow.

They rushed back into the room with a blanket and a board. "We're going to have to carry her out." They said. The started to move her gently so they could get the board beneath her.

"Do you need that?" He barked, leaning in protectively over her body. He wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and carry her out of here.

"We have to. Standard protocol."

Cragen and Munch each grabbed one of Elliot's arms and pulled him back. "They have to get her to the hospital." Cragen said. "You have to let them take her."

Elliot knew that and he wasn't trying to interfere. But he felt like he had failed her so much already. He should have been there to protect her. And he was going to damned sure he didn't let her down again.

He stepped back and watched as they pulled her gently on to the board and covered her with a blanket. They tucked the IV bag next to her body and then lifted the board. They carried her out of the room and laid her on the gurney. They started buckling the restraints over her and Elliot and Cragen moved to the doorway.

Elliot's jaw clenched once again as he saw his partner…the woman that he _loved_ …unconscious on that gurney.

"Where's Javi?" He said, his tone cold. He had walked by him before in his earnestness to confirm that it was Olivia they had found, but now that he knew she was in good hands, he had a score to settle.

"He's gone. On his way to the precinct." Cragen knew what was on his mind and he turned to face him. "I know you're angry..."

"Angry?" Elliot spit out. "You're goddamned right I'm angry. Aren't you?"

"Of course!" Cragen yelled back at him. "Don't you ever question that! But we can't have you going off and punching this guy's face in. How is that going to help Olivia?" He put his hands on Elliot's shoulders and he could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. "After what he's done, do you want him to get off?

"I want to kill him." He said coldly.

Cragen shook him slightly. "Get a hold of yourself. It's not him we want. It's Diaz. And he's the only one we have that can get us close."

Elliot pressed his lips together and the muscles in his jaw were working as he ground his teeth together. He knew he was right, but his rage was boiling over. He had to do something.

"You need to be with Olivia right now. Let us take care of this." Cragen released him and Elliot looked down the hall, realizing the EMT's were almost out the door. Cragen looked at Elliot. "Take care of her. Go."

Elliot only hesitated for a second. He knew where Javi was…he could deal with him later. Olivia needed him and he wasn't going to let her down again.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot barely made it into the ambulance before they closed the door. They almost didn't let him in and Elliot was raging until Munch explained that he was her next of kin. Munch put a hand on his arm as he climbed into the ambulance.

"You have to calm down Elliot. Be strong for Liv."

Elliot let out a deep breath as he sat down on the bench next to her. He knew Cragen and Munch were right. But his anger was reignited every time he saw her lying there.

The medic hit the partition between the cab and the back of the ambulance. "Go."

"Where are you taking her?" he asked.

"New York Pres." He said, checking the straps holding the gurney in place as they roared away from the scene. They were checking her vitals again and Elliot tried to stay out of the way. He watched her eyes for any sign that she was going to wake up.

He heard the medics rattling off various vital signs but he closed his eyes. He said a prayer that she would be OK. That's all he wanted. She could be angry with him for not protecting her. She could tell him that she didn't want to be his partner any more. He would let her go without telling her how much he loved her. If only she would open her eyes and the doctors told him that she was going to be OK.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw that the medics were done with their work. One was on the radio, and from what he heard, he assumed he was talking to the hospital. He looked at Olivia lying on the gurney and she looked so small and frail. He came up off the bench seat and leaned over her. He took her hand in his. "Liv." He whispered quietly. "I'm here Liv." He squeezed her hand, willing her to open her eyes. He let out a heavy sigh when he got no response.

The rest of the ride was relatively quiet. The only sound was the beeping of the machines and the conversation between the two medics. But when they got to the hospital, that all changed. When the ambulance braked in front of the emergency entrance, the doors flew open and Elliot couldn't believe how quickly they had Olivia out of the ambulance and into the hospital. He followed along as they rushed her into the exam room. He watched for a moment as they whipped off the blanket that was covering her and a doctor and several nurses started their examination of her. He was standing to the side, and it was almost more than he could bear.

Olivia Benson should never be a victim and he cursed himself again for his inability to protect her. He hated the fact that she was here…lying on that table. Normally, they were the ones waiting on the outside; waiting for an update on the victim of their latest case.

A few more people came into the room, one pushing a cart he recognized so well. All the instruments of doing a rape kit and a tortured gasp escaped from his throat before he could stop it. One of the nurses seemed to notice him then, and she came over to where he was standing.

"Sir, you have to go out to the waiting room." She said gently, as she placed a hand on his arm.

Elliot shook his head. "I'm not leaving her."

"We have to complete our exam. We will give you an update as soon as we're done."

Elliot stayed rooted in the spot. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. The nurse left the room and he continued to watch as they continued their work. A few minutes later, he felt another hand on his arm and he turned to tell the nurse to leave him the hell alone. He saw it was Munch and not the nurse.

"Elliot." He said. "You have to let them do their job."

"I'm not leaving her." He had to be here when she woke up.

"You're going to have to leave one way or the other. If you want to be here for her, you have to listen to the doctors. They won't finish their exam with you here. So the sooner you leave, the sooner they can help her."

Elliot let out an exasperated sigh. He knew Munch was right. He ground the heel of his hands into his eyes. He saw Munch turn to leave and he followed him out of the exam room. When he got to the waiting area immediately outside the exam rooms, he saw Fin was already there.

"Is she awake?" he asked, jumping up from his chair when he saw Elliot.

Elliot shook his head as he slumped down in one of the chairs.

Fin put a hand on his shoulder. "She's going to wake up and she's going to be just fine. And she'll be back kicking peoples' asses before you know it. No one can take down Badass Benson."

Elliot knew Fin was trying to assure him, but he just didn't really want to hear it right now. All the anger and frustration he was felling was boiling to the surface again and he had nowhere to direct it. His ribs were killing him but he pushed down the pain. He fisted his right hand and started slamming it into the palm of his left hand. His legs were bouncing as he sat and he just had an overwhelming urge to slam his fists into something. Anything to take away the pain.

He stood up and looked around, finally seeing a bathroom. He walked quickly towards the room and he hears Munch ask where he was going. He ignored him and stormed into the bathroom. He spun braced his arms against the edge of the sink, rocking back and forth as he looked into the mirror. He tried to calm himself down; he heard Olivia's voice in his head telling him that pounding in lockers and denting walls never did him any good.

He pictured Diaz running his gun over Olivia's body. He saw Carlos with his hands on her breasts. He heard Olivia screaming as they dragged her out of the warehouse.

Before he knew what was happening, he heard glass shattering and felt his fist on fire as blood poured from his hand. He stood there, his breathing heavy, as those images kept assaulting him. If and when they caught Diaz, he was a dead man.


	6. Chapter 6

It was almost two hours before the doctor came out of the examination room. Elliot, Cragen, Munch and Fin had been sitting in the waiting room, watching as equipment was being wheeled in and out of the room. Elliot was cradling his bandaged hand, but feeling some relief from the pain in his ribs with the pain reliever they had given him.

He jumped up when the doctor came their way. He looked down at the chart in his hand. "Elliot Stabler?" He knew he was listed as her emergency contact.

"Yes. That's me." He said anxiously, as Cragen, Munch and Fin crowded around. The doctor raised a brow. "It's OK." Elliot reassured him. "Tell me."

"OK." Elliot knew the doctor had been briefed on her ordeal and was diligent in his examination. "I can find no evidence of sexual assault."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, the entire group let out a collective sigh of relief.

He continued. "Actually, considering what I've been told, she has reasonably few injuries. She has a concussion and we had to give her a few stitches in a small wound in her head. She didn't lose a lot of blood because her body temp was so low. She was very dehydrated but now that we've pumped some fluids into her and warmed her up, her vitals are all getting stronger and her color is returning. She has quite a few contusions on her body, but I can't say what specifically those are from. She seems to be resting comfortably, and we will keep her overnight for observation.

"Wait. What?" Elliot asked, almost unable to grasp what the doctor was telling him. "So she's going to be OK?"

"Well, physically speaking. Yes. She should be fine. We just have to keep an eye on that concussion."

"Do you have to run more tests when she wakes up?" he asked.

The doctor had a surprised look on his face. "She's awake."

"Why didn't you say that right away?" Elliot said angrily. _He had been waiting to see her; waiting for any word that she was going to be OK, and now he finds out she's been awake?_ He pushed past the doctor and headed for the exam room. "Wait. You can't go in there."

Elliot stopped and turned back to the doctor. "What? Why?"

"She doesn't want any visitors."

Elliot was dumbfounded.

"That can't be right." Munch chimed in. "Does she know we're waiting out here?" he asked and Elliot nodded as if to confirm the fact. She had to know that they would all want to see her, just to see that she was all right for themselves. Especially Elliot.

"Yeah. That's right. Does she know we're here?" He knit his eyebrows together in confusion.

"Yes I told her. But she said she's tired and she wants to rest. We will be transferring her to a regular room shortly."

Elliot opened his mouth to object again, but Cragen held up his hand. "I know we all want to see her but we have to respect her wishes." He looked right at Elliot when he said it. "At least we have the report from the doctor and we know she's going to be OK."

Fin let out a sigh. "Maybe when she feels a little better…" He was disappointed too. The last image in all of their minds was of her partially nude body stretched out on the bed, her hands bound above her head…pale and unconscious. They all wanted to see her with her eyes open…returned to them whole.

"I'll call the hospital later and get an update. See if she's changed her mind." Cragen said, making motions to usher them out of the waiting area.

Elliot looked back towards the exam room, wondering if she would deny him if he simply pushed through the doors. Cragen must have read his mind because he put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go get something to eat and let her rest. Then we'll check back." He said quietly. Elliot knew there was no arguing with him, and reluctantly followed him out of the waiting room.

EOEOEOEO

When Olivia woke up, she was alarmed at first, confused by the bright lights and the hands on her body. She fought against them and they restrained her until the soothing words of a nurse made their way through the haze. She heard the word _hospital_ and _safe_. She blinked a few times, looking around.

"Where am I?" she rasped. The nurse gave her some water and she took a few sips.

"New York Presbyterian." The nurse said.

A doctor was standing on the other side of her introduced himself. "Dr. Stone. You're in the emergency room." He took a moment to shine the light into each of her eyes and she shrank back from the light. Her head was killing her.

"Can you tell me the last thing you remember?" he asked.

Olivia tried to think but her mind was still fuzzy. She tried to remember…and then it all came rushing back. "I was in the bathroom. He…he shoved me. I fell backwards and I hit my head."

"You have a concussion."

"I don't remember anything after that." She felt a sense of panic then, because she didn't know how long she had been out. Things had started to deteriorate; she remembered all of the arguing. Then the scene in the bathroom. Then she remembered waking up in bed. Someone had tied her arms; her hair still soaking wet. She had been freezing…her body practically numb. There were probably hours unaccounted for.

She saw the cart sitting off to the side; the cart holding all of the necessary equipment to do a rape kit. "Do I have any other injuries?" she asked hesitantly, not able to say the actual words.

The doctor shook his head and she let out the breath she'd been holding. She relaxed against the bed as he continued. "No broken bones. We had to put a few stitches in the head wound, but nothing major. Just some bruising and some minor cuts. And some chafing around your wrists."

"So...no signs of sexual assault?" she asked, needing to hear the words.

"Do you think they assaulted you?" the doctor asked, furrowing his brow. "We didn't see any signs of any kind of assault but if you think…"

Olivia shook her head. She knew the doctors and nurses knew what they were doing. "No. I just…there are just blank spots. I want to be sure."

"We conducted a thorough exam." The doctor said. "I don't see any indication."

Olivia closed her eyes. She almost couldn't believe she had spent that much time with several confirmed rapists and came through it relatively unscathed. Maybe her prayers had worked; she'd have to tell Elliot that maybe he'd been right to have faith in a higher power all along.

 _Elliot._

She opened her eyes. "Do you know how I ended up here?" She had to assume that somehow, her squad had tracked down Diaz and had stormed the house. She didn't want to think about them finding her like that. She didn't ever want to be seen as a victim, but now that's all they would see when they looked at her.

"I don't know the details of all that. The police are in the waiting room and they can answer your questions. I assume they'll need a statement from you."

She nodded. _The police_. Elliot. Cragen. She didn't know who else.

"But first we have to go over a few things." She heard the doctor and turned her attention back to him. The nurse was taking her vitals again while the doctor talked about her concussion.

"We'll have to keep you overnight for observation and we'll do another CAT scan in the morning. But if everything looks good, we will most likely release you tomorrow."

"Good." Said Olivia. She hated hospitals and wanted to get home as soon as possible.

"You may have a headache for a few days, but as long as you get plenty of rest, that should start to subside." He wrote a few notes on her chart. "Any other pain?" he asked.

Olivia took a quick assessment and besides the headache and a general soreness all over her entire body, she couldn't say she was in pain. "I'm fine." She said.

"OK. Sounds good. You'll be moving to a regular room shortly and then I'll be back to check on you before I leave later this afternoon." The nurse finished typing everything into the computer and turned back towards Olivia.

"We're going to get you to your room and then the nurses there can help you take a shower if you want and order some lunch for you."

Olivia gave her a weak smile. "That would be great." She said, realizing she was slightly hungry.

The doctor headed towards the door. "I'll tell your friends in the waiting room that they can come in now. They've been anxious to see you."

"No!" Olivia said, sitting up in bed.

The nurse gave her a funny look. "They've been waiting…"

"My head hurts and I'm tired." She said, making excuses. She looked back at the doctor. "Can you tell them that I don't want visitors right now?"

He nodded. "Sure. I think you'll have to give a statement to the police at some point but I'll tell them to come back later."

She sighed and lay back against the pillows. He obviously didn't know that the police in the waiting room were also her friends…and her family. She closed her eyes. She didn't know how she could ever face them again. But she would think about that later. Right now, she just wanted to sleep.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot hadn't really wanted to go to dinner but Cragen hadn't left him much choice. He knew that it was a babysitting mission. He wanted Elliot to respect Olivia's wishes and keep him from the hospital. But Cragen couldn't watch him forever, and he knew he'd find a way to see her.

He had to see her for himself and he had to apologize for letting her down. He only hoped she could forgive him and that they could find their way back from this. That she would trust him enough to still be partners with him.

"You have to quit beating yourself up." Cragen said, almost as if he was reading his mind.

Elliot shook his head. "I shouldn't have listened to her. I knew better. We should have waited for backup. But she was hell bent on going on and I gave in." He let out a frustrated sigh. "She's been on this path of self-destruction. She's been reckless and I haven't done enough to stop her."

"Maybe your judgment when it comes to Olivia is clouded." Cragen said, toying with the food on his plate.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at him. "What are you saying?"

"I'm not saying anything." He said, not wanting to get into it with Elliot's emotions were so raw and his anger was threatening to boil over again. "You've been partners for a long time. You know she's strong-willed. You two are good at what you do because you go with your gut instinct. And most of the time that pays off."

"But this time it went horribly wrong. She could have been seriously hurt. Or killed." Elliot threw his fork down on his plate. "Or just…gone."

"We can't dwell on what might have been." Cragen jumped in quickly. "She's safe now and she's going to be fine."

"Do you think we can still be partners?" Elliot asked. He trusted the Captain's opinion.

"You tell me." He said. He felt like this was a turning point for the two of them. He'd watched them over the years and he was reasonably certain they had kept things professional. But that didn't mean there wasn't a lot brimming beneath the surface.

Elliot considered him for a second. "I don't know." He said quietly. He took a sip of water and leaned back in his chair. "I need to talk to her."

"Maybe she just needs a little time." Cragen said, trying to understand her request. "She's been through a traumatic experience."

"You think I don't know that?" Elliot snapped.

"Of course I do. You need to give her a little time. She just regained consciousness. She may not be thinking clearly." Cragen knew he wasn't going to be able to keep him away from her forever, so he tried to make him think about her state of mind. "You can't push her."

Elliot let out another frustrated sigh. He knew Cragen was right, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to stay away for very long.

EOEOEOEOEO

The nurse helped Olivia into the bathroom of her new room so she could take a shower. She let the warm water run over her sore muscles and the closed her eyes. It felt so good. She soaped up and washed her hair, and when she was done, she sat down on the toilet and dried herself off. The nurse handed her a clean gown and underwear through the door and Olivia got dressed. She really felt a lot better now except for the pounding headache.

When she emerged from the bathroom, the nurse helped her back into bed. She reattached the IV, explaining to Olivia that she needed to stay hydrated when she asked if she still needed it. Her lunch had arrived and she ate it slowly, thinking about the last few days.

She knew now that they should have waited for back up; another reason for Elliot to be upset with her. She wondered how badly he was hurt. She was responsible for that too.

She wanted to see him.

And she didn't.

She didn't think she would be able to take the look of disappointment on his face. For her recklessness with his life and for her inability to protect herself…

She pushed the tray of food away and curled up in the bed, closing her eyes. She couldn't think clearly when her head was pounding like this.

EOEOEOEO

Two hours after Cragen left him at the diner, Elliot was back at the hospital. He couldn't drive with his ribs and his damaged right hand, so he had to take a taxi. He went to the information desk and asked for Olivia. The volunteer manning the desk gave him the room number, but told him she had requested no visitors. Elliot nodded and told her he understood and acted like he was leaving. When he saw the woman was tied up with another visitor, he ducked into the hospital lobby and headed for the elevators.

He found Olivia's room and saw the door was ajar. He looked around, but the hallway was quiet. He poked his head in the room and saw her asleep on the bed. She was curled up on her side and he let out a sigh of relief and smiled. Even though she still looked small balled up like that, he was happy to see her color had returned and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He saw an IV attached to her arm, but no other equipment. He took that as a good sign.

He was overwhelmed with relief. This could have turned out so much worse. He was happy that she was here, getting the attention she needed. He just wanted to watch her sleep for a few minutes more and then he would leave.

He felt a hand on his arm and he jumped. He turned to see a nurse directly behind him. He'd been so absorbed watching Olivia that he hadn't even heard her.

"Ms. Benson has requested no visitors." She whispered. "You're going to have to leave."

"It's OK."

Elliot turned at the sound of Olivia's voice. He turned back towards her and saw that her eyes were open and she was looking at him.

"Are you sure Ms. Benson?" The nurse asked.

Olivia uncurled her body and rolled over on her back, pulling the covers over her body. She had been adamant about not wanting to see anyone. But when she saw Eliot standing there…she realized that she wanted to see him more than anything.

"I'm sure."

The nurse looked between them. "Buzz me if you need anything." She said as she walked out of the room.

Elliot took a few steps into the room and stopped. He had so many questions. He wanted to know what they had done to her…what they might have made her do. Because he knew that even though she didn't have any injuries consistent with rape, there were other ways to be sexually assaulted.

He wanted to tell her that he was sorry he had let her down.

But he didn't say anything.

Olivia watched him as he stood here. Her eyes moved to the bandage on his hand. She wanted to ask him how badly he was hurt. She guessed it was a good sign that he was standing there on his own two feet.

She felt another rush of guilt rush through her and she looked away. She turned back towards him when she heard his voice.

"I know you wanted to be alone, but I just had to see that you were OK for myself."

She gave him a small smile. "I'm fine."

He shifted on his feet and unconsciously cradled his damaged hand against his ribs. He knew that now that he had seen her, he should leave. He had to respect her wishes and hope she would change her mind later, when she was feeling better. When she had had a chance to think things through. He opened his mouth to tell her that he was leaving, when she spoke again.

"It looks to me like maybe you need to sit down." She bit her lip. Despite her warring emotions, she wasn't ready for him to leave.

He shook his head. "That's OK. I'll leave you alone."

She stretched out her arm towards him. "Elliot." She whispered. "I'm asking you to stay."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks so much for hanging in there and waiting for an update. I'm so sorry it took so long. Here is an excerpt from the end of the last chapter, just in case you forgot where we left off!**

" _It looks to me like maybe you need to sit down." She bit her lip. Despite her warring emotions, she wasn't ready for him to leave._

 _He shook his head. "That's OK. I'll leave you alone."_

 _She stretched out her arm towards him. "Elliot." She whispered. "I'm asking you to stay."_

EOEOEOEO

Elliot hesitated a second. He really wanted to stay, but he didn't want to push her.

Olivia dropped her hand back on the bed. "El. It's OK. I wouldn't tell you to stay if I didn't want you to."

Elliot nodded and gave her a small smile. "OK." There were two chairs by the windows and he started walking towards them slowly. He skirted the end of her hospital bed, focused on not jostling his ribs any more than he had to.

"You get the uncomfortable chair." Olivia said, pointing at the padded chair next to the window.

Elliot raised an eyebrow and looked back at her. "What if I want the lounge chair?"

"I'm taking the lounge chair." She said, pulling back the covers as she swung her legs out from under the covers.

"What are you doing?" he asked, moving over to the other side of the bed as quickly as he could. He was standing right in front of her as her legs dangled over the side of the bed. He watched as she tried to tug the horrible hospital gown down a little further over her thighs. He saw some bruises and he quickly moved his eyes back to hers.

She stopped and looked up at him. "I'm getting out of bed."

"Can you do that?" he asked, looking towards the door as if waiting for some kind of intervention. He looked back at her as she put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back a little so she could stand up.

"You have more injuries than I do." She said, laughing lightly as she took a few steps and settled herself in the chair. She curled her bare legs beneath her. "Hand me that blanket."

He grabbed the blanket off the end of the bed with his good hand and turned back towards her. "Say please." He teased, holding the blanket in his good hand.

Olivia relaxed a little, happy to hear Elliot teasing her. It cut the tension in the room slightly. However, she wasn't going to give in to him that easily.

"Just give me the damn blanket." She said, shaking her head and holding out her hand.

Elliot laughed slightly as he took a step towards her, happy to hear the challenge back in her voice. That was the Olivia Benson he knew. But his smile faded when he saw the rope burns on wrist; her hand still extended towards him. She saw the change in his demeanor and she pulled her hand back quickly, dropping them both in her lap.

Instead of handing the blanket to her, Elliot closed the remaining gap between them and spread the blanket gently over her lap. Elliot lifted her hands gently, turning them palm side up. He ran his thumbs lightly over the chafing on the inside of her wrists, staring down at them sadly.

Olivia tried to pull them away but he held on, careful not to hurt her.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked softly. "What did they do to you?" He wanted her to tell him…he had to know. If she didn't, he was going to continue to imagine all kinds of horrible things.

Olivia pulled her hands out of his a little more forcefully, and this time he let her go. He looked up into her eyes and saw indecision in them. He reached out and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger on her jaw where a bruise had formed.

"I'm fine El." She whispered quietly. "The doctor told you that I was fine." She knew that the doctor would have given him a full report as her next of kin. But she also knew that he would have been going out of his mind when she was missing. And that's why he was asking her for the details now.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"But you don't believe him. Or me." It was a statement, not a question.

Elliot let out a heavy sigh. "It's not that I don't believe you." He swiped his hand over his chin. "It's just sometimes you kind of…I don't know. Gloss over things."

Olivia looked down at her hands in her lap and nodded. She remembered lying in that cold room and her thoughts and prayers. How she knew he couldn't depend on her anymore…and how ironic that was because it was then that she realized she was finally ready to give herself to him completely.

Elliot could see she was struggling with what she was going to tell him. And he understood because he was struggling too. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry he couldn't protect her and that he understood if she didn't trust him anymore. And how that was irony at its finest because he wanted her to trust him with everything…her heart…her mind…her body. That it was only right because they were already sharing a soul.

He backed away slightly, settling himself in the other chair. They were only a few feet apart, their chairs sitting at an angle to each other. He looked back over at her and saw she was still fiddling with her hands.

"I said a prayer." She said so quietly, that he almost didn't hear her.

Elliot smiled then, because Olivia had never been a big believer in a higher power. At least not as he saw it. He knew that had to be hard for her to admit. "I did too. Several." He said.

She looked up at him. She shook her head slightly, as if that action could somehow keep the memories from flooding through her brain. "I was nervous when I came to the hospital…" she started, hardly believing she was going to share this with Elliot. But for some reason, she just felt she _had_ to. Like he deserved to know. "There were times I was unconscious and I wasn't quite sure what happened." She thought back to the photos that had been taken; wondering what others existed besides the one she had seen. She wondered if he had seen any of them. "But I was reasonably certain they hadn't…assaulted me." She cleared her throat, trying not to get too emotional. "I mean they certainly threatened me and they hit me and kept me half naked. But I think the search in the warehouse was the worst of it. At least that I'm aware of. But there are no signs of that…the doctor said there is no indication that they…" Her voice trailed off and she saw Elliot visibly relax. "And I would know…he would know." She had to hold on to that. And she knew she could be fairly certain because these men would not have been gentle. "Most of the time, I was locked in a back bedroom, freezing my ass off."

Elliot kept quiet, as if he was trying to absorb everything she was saying. She hesitated for a second, trying to formulate words for what she wanted to say. Communication had never been their strong suit, but she wanted to get this all out; keep her end of the deal with whatever higher power had helped her escape unscathed. "I'm going to be fine. I _am_ fine. Bruises will heal. My headache will go away." She let out a sigh and shook her head again. "I'm just sorry I put you through all of this. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be hurting right now." She assumed he had broken ribs by the way he was holding himself. And from seeing the beating he took first hand. "Do your ribs hurt?"

Elliot couldn't believe _she_ was apologizing to _him_. She was the one that had been abducted. "You think I give a damn about a few broken ribs?" He lashed out. "Jesus Christ Olivia." He tried to calm down; he didn't want to be angry. But all of a sudden, everything came bubbling to the surface again. As if he knew that she really had been returned to him without harm…and he could get to the core of the anguish he had gone through when she had been missing. He had to make her understand. He was out of his chair and pacing back and forth in the small space. He leaned over, his hands grasping the rail at the end of the bed as he looked over at her. "I was out of my _mind_! You were _screaming_ my name and I couldn't get that out of my fucking head." A pained sound tore from his throat. "I'm supposed to protect you and I just let them take you." He choked out, his voice overladen with emotion.

"I'm the one that dragged us into that warehouse." Olivia interjected. "This wasn't your fault!" She hated to see Elliot blaming himself for what had happened.

Elliot shook his head and ignored her. "The only thing I could think about while you were missing was what they hell they were doing to you." He stood and scrubbed his hands over his head, wincing at the pain. He walked over towards her and he saw her visibly shrink back as he placed his hands on the arms of her chair. "I thought there was a very real chance that I was never going to see you again!" He looked back and forth between her eyes, searching to see if she really understood just how wrecked he had been. How deeply he was affected. That this wasn't about their partnership…their friendship. That this was so much deeper than all that.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Olivia said, tears trailing down her cheek. She truly felt horrible for the pain she had caused. "I should have fought harder."

Elliot pushed himself off and looked down at her, an incredulous look on his face. "Do you think I'm blaming _you_ for this?" He crouched down in front of her, placing his hands on the arms of the chair to steady himself. He shook his head as everything she had been saying sunk in. She was focused on her hands that were still clasped in her lap. She didn't look up as he kept talking. "God Liv. I don't blame you. It was my job to protect you." He said, his voice much calmer than before. His anger was gone and now he only felt an incredible tenderness towards her.

"It's my job to protect _you_ …and I should be able to defend myself." Olivia gasped out, tears streaming freely now. She hated to cry in front of Elliot but everything was catching up with her and she couldn't stop it anymore. "How can you trust me as a partner if I can't defend myself?" She swiped at the tears angrily. "Or you?"

Elliot reached for her hands, covering them gently with his own. He looked back up at her, hating the tears that were staining her cheeks. She was one of the strongest people he knew; he had seen a few tears only a handful of times. She hated to show any kind of weakness, especially to him, so he knew she was on emotional overload. That the past few days were finally catching up with her. And he realized there was nothing to be gained by this conversation. No one was to blame.

He looked up into her eyes. "I trust you with my life Liv. Always have. Always will."

"But…" She started.

"No." Elliot shook his head. "Can we just stop this? I don't blame you." He said, not sure that they didn't share some of it. But hoping they could just get past it. "I'm just so damned happy that you're OK." He wanted to tell her everything…the words were on his lips…but he was concerned that she couldn't take it right now. She was on emotional overload.

Olivia pulled her hands from his and swiped at her tears again. She just couldn't seem to stop them. She saw Elliot crouched in front of her and she could barely believe what she was hearing. Who was this man in front of her? She and Elliot steered clear of any serious conversation for most of their partnership, and they certainly never shared anything overly emotional. She wanted to tell him right then and there how she really felt…but she just felt too raw and exposed. She knew she really wouldn't be able to stop the waterworks. If he told her he didn't feel the same way, she would be devastated. She couldn't take that right now.

So she nodded and tried to give him a small smile. "I'm happy you're OK too."

Elliot looked at her for a moment longer, trying to gauge her sincerity. He didn't want her to tell him she was fine if she really wasn't. They should be past that. He saw that her tears had stopped and she ran her hands across her cheeks one more time. She tucked some errant hair behind her ear and Elliot stood up, grunting slightly as he did. He stood in front of her for a moment, slightly upset that he hadn't told her what he intended to. But the moment had passed and he took a step back and settled into the chair next to her again.

"So tell me. How many broken ribs?" Olivia asked, gesturing towards him.

"Three."

Olivia winced. "Ouch." She knew that must be painful and was surprised he'd been moving around as much as he had. "You must be on some good pain meds."

"Nah. I've broken my ribs so many times. I'm used to it." He joked.

"I always said you should have your own bed in the ER." Olivia joked. "What happened to your hand?" She looked at his right hand, which still had a bandage wrapped around it. She knew if it was broken it would be in a cast.

"Just cut up a little." He said, lifting it up and setting it back down in his lap. "It'll be fine."

Olivia furrowed her brow. "How did it get cut up?" She could remember every event that happened in that warehouse and couldn't think of how that would have happened.

"This…I did to myself." He didn't want to tell her the whole story. But she knew enough about his history and how he took out his anger and frustration to read between the lines.

Olivia pursed her lips together and nodded. She understood and another stab of guilt pierced her…knowing that it had been over her. But she understood, because she knew that if anything happened to him, she would react the same way. She wouldn't be able to handle it.

She looked over at him and saw him staring at her. "I'm really glad you're here El." She said, and she meant it. "I don't know why I told the doctor that I didn't want to see you." She looked out the window. "I guess I knew that everyone was out there waiting…and I just felt so…"

"It's OK. It doesn't matter." He said as she turned back to face him. "I'm here now."

Olivia let out a deep sigh and lay her head against the back of the chair. Her crying jag had made her headache so much worse and she suddenly felt exhausted.

"Why don't you crawl back in bed and get some rest?" Elliot said.

She opened her eyes and looked at him and he could see a small look of panic cross her features. But it was fleeting; gone in a few seconds.

"I'm not going to go anywhere." He said and he saw her relax. "I'm just going to steal that comfortable chair." He said, smiling.

"OK." Olivia said, but it came out as a whisper. Fatigue was catching up quickly.

Elliot stood up and grasped her hands, pulling her gently out of the chair. She sat down on the edge of the bed and swung her legs up as Elliot held up the blankets. Once she was settled he pulled the covers up. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, startling her slightly. But then she smiled as he pulled back, and she grasped his hand quickly.

"Thank you." She said.

"For what?"

"Everything." She closed her eyes, still holding his hand. Elliot pushed the chair with his knees so it was flush with the bed. He sat down, his left hand still clasped to hers. He pushed the button to extend the lounge chair and stretched out, pulling the blanket up. He rested their joined hands on the bed, and closed his eyes. They were both asleep in minutes.

That was exactly how Cragen found them 45 minutes later.


	8. Chapter 8

Cragen approached the nurse's station and one of the nurses asked if she could help him. "Olivia Benson. Room 405. Is she still refusing visitors?" he asked.

The nurse shrugged. "She was but I caught a man in her room and she said it was OK." She shrugged again, as if she didn't know what else to say.

Cragen raised an eyebrow. It wouldn't take a psychic to figure out who was in her room.

"Any update on her condition?" he asked.

"I can't give out any information on a patient. You'll have to ask her."

"So it's OK if I go in?"

The nurse came around the counter of the nurse's station. "Go ahead. I'll be in right behind you. I have to check her vitals and check her IV."

Cragen nodded and headed down towards her room. When he got there, he saw the door was partially closed. He pushed against the door, pushing it open slightly and listening. It was quiet. He took a few steps into the room and stopped, seeing Elliot and Olivia in front of him. They were both asleep, and he saw their clasped hands on the bed.

He was about to back out of the room when he saw Elliot open his eyes.

Elliot's eyes flashed over to Olivia's, and he saw she was still asleep. He looked back at Cragen and held up a hand as if telling him to stay. They were held loosely in sleep, so he was able to slip from her grasp as he slid out of the chair. He made his way over to where Cragen was standing, wondering if their Captain would say anything about how he had found them.

"How's she doing?" he asked quietly.

"She's OK." Elliot said. "She was feeling pretty guilty about what happened but she got all of that out. We talked and I think she'll be OK."

"Are you going to be OK?" Cragen asked. He had seen first had how Elliot was affected by her disappearance.

Elliot nodded. "I feel better now that she's been checked out and she's here and this is over."

Cragen didn't want to dash Elliot's sense of peace, but he had to remind him. "We still haven't found Diaz." He said.

Elliot froze. He hadn't thought about that. "He has to be long gone by now. There's no way he would stay in the city."

Cragen shrugged. "We have no way of knowing where he is. The only thing we know is that he wasn't in the house when we came in. Don't know why."

"There's a chance he doesn't even know we've got Liv. And that we have one of his guys in custody." Elliot said, thinking out loud.

"He knows we've got her." Cragen said quietly. "That's why I'm here."

"What do you mean?" Elliot said, his tone getting slightly louder.

Cragen looked over at the bed and saw Olivia's eyes were still closed, but she was stirring slightly. He put a hand on Elliot's arm and pulled him closer to the door. "He sent us another photo and a message.'

"Why didn't you say that right away?" Elliot asked angrily. "what did the message say?"

"Let's just say he doesn't like to lose."

"I want to see the photo." Elliot said, holding out his hand.

"No point in it." Cragen said. "We've got her here. She's fine. And we're going to keep her that way."

"You think he's going to come after her?" Elliot asked, frustrated that this wasn't over.

"In the whole scheme of things, I can't imagine why he would. He's not a fool and the value of one woman can't possibly mean much. But somehow this is personal. He's mad at the NYPD for shutting down his organization and for some reason, she's his way of getting back at the entire organization. So I'm not sure what he's going to do."

"Captain." They both turned and as they heard Olivia's voice. They saw she was awake and staring at them.

Elliot cursed silently under his breath. He wasn't sure how much she had heard. He didn't want her to worry about this. She needed to rest and recover.

"Hey Olivia." Cragen said softly as he walked over towards her. "How are you feeling?" He had a soft spot for her; she was like the daughter he never had. And although he had to be in charge and manage everyone else's emotions, and had to be directly involved in the investigation and search, he had been going through his own private hell as he thought about her being held captive.

"Just a concussion and a few bruises." She said, reaching up to her jaw and touching the bruise there lightly. "I'm fine."

Cragen cracked a smile at hearing her pat answer to just about everything life threw at her. But he knew she was incredibly lucky that she wasn't more seriously injured and that she hadn't been assaulted.

"Did I hear you say that you think Diaz is still in the city?" she asked. She looked back over at Elliot, who had joined the Captain beside her bed. "You can't keep this from me."

"We don't know that." Elliot said.

"We don't know where he is. We haven't found him yet." Cragen said. He wanted to be honest with her.

Elliot saw the apprehension in Olivia's face and the way she stiffened slightly in the bed.

"He'd be stupid to stay." Elliot said. "The entire NYPD is looking for him."

"What makes you think he's still here?" Olivia asked, knowing there had to be a reason they were concerned.

Cragen looked over at Elliot and then back at Olivia. "He sent a message."

"It doesn't matter Liv." Cragen said. "We're not going to let anything happen to you."

"Don't I have a right to know?" she asked, sitting up more on the bed. A hand went to her head. Her headache hadn't abated at all.

The nurse came in the room at that moment and saw the two men crowded around the bed. She came to the end of the bed and saw her patient with her hand to her head. She looked over at the two men, having no idea who they were. "Shoo. You two out of the room." She gestured towards the door.

"But we need to talk to her." Cragen said.

"I can't have you upsetting my patient. Out." She pointed towards the door and then put her hands on her hips.

"I'm not upset." Olivia said.

The nurse looked back at her and then at them. "Wait outside. You can come back in when I say."

Elliot nodded and walked out with Cragen. When they got into the hallway, Elliot saw a uniformed officer.

He turned to Cragen. "Protective detail? What are you holding back?" He motioned towards the officer. "What the hell did the message say?"

Cragen shook his head. "I'm just not taking any chances Elliot."

"Tell me what the damn note said." His voice was louder now and Cragen pushed him down the hallway and out of earshot.

"Keep your voice down." He said. "And I'll tell you." The walked a little farther down the hallway. "The photo of Olivia was similar to the ones they sent before."

Elliot drew in a sharp breath. "So she's tied up?"

Cragen nodded.

"Is the same man in the photo?" he said through clenched teeth. He wasn't sure if he could handle hearing it.

"Yes." Cragen said, knowing he wasn't going to be able to get out of telling him. "This time, the man had a knife to her throat."

"What did the note say?" Elliot said, tensing.

"It said that this wasn't over. That we took something that belonged to him. And he wanted her back. That the NYPD wasn't going to win. And as payback he was going to make us watch as…" Cragen's voice started to crack. He didn't even want to repeat it. The thought of them raping and killing her…with glee…was more than he could bear.

He looked at Elliot and could see the rage in his face. "I'm going to find him." He said, his teeth clenched and his voice an eerie calm. "And I'm going to kill him."

Cragen put a hand on his shoulder. "Elliot…that's not going to help Olivia."

"Like hell. He can't hurt her if he's dead." He shrugged Cragen's hand off.

"I don't think he'll seriously come after her. That would be as suicide mission."

"He's not going to come after her himself. He's got soldiers to do his dirty work." Elliot said, thinking about all of the possible ways they could come after her.

"So getting Diaz isn't going to do any good." Cragen reinforced.

Elliot paced away from the Captain and then back towards him. "I can't just do nothing."

"You're not going to be doing nothing. I need you to stay here. With her." He knew that someone would have to kill Elliot to get to Olivia. It was probably the best protection she could have right now. He started at Elliot and could see the wheels churning as he fisted and un-fisted his uninjured hand. "Are you listening to me?"

The nurse came out of the room and walked down to where they were talking. Elliot pivoted. "How is she?"

"She needs to rest." The nurse said curtly. "Her blood pressure is up. Thanks to you two." She pointed to the uniformed officer. "Someone needs to tell me what's going on."

Cragen nodded and walked back towards the nurses' station with her, showing her his badge and filling her in on what was going on.

Elliot walked back to the uniform that was standing outside of her room. "Detective Stabler." He said, introducing himself to the officer.

"Office Stone." He said.

"You've been briefed?" he asked and the office nodded.

Elliot put a hand on his shoulder. "Listen to me. I'm going to be spending the night here. Inside the room. I'll be armed."

Officer Stone shook his head.

"You don't let anyone past you without clearing it with me." He looked intently at the officer. "I don't care if he tells you he's a doctor or another detective." He waved down towards Cragen. "Even him." He put his hand back on his shoulder. "Are we clear?"

Office Stone nodded again, slightly intimidated by the him.

Cragen came walking back down towards them. "Everything OK?" he asked, looking back and forth between Elliot and the uniform.

The both nodded. Elliot turned to Cragen. "I need my gun."

"Fin's on his way down. He's bringing it."

Elliot nodded. He turned towards Olivia's door. "What are we going to tell her?" he asked, his voice quiet now.

"We don't have any choice but to tell he the truth. Her life may be in danger." Cragen motioned towards the officer. "Plus I think she'll notice the protective detail."

Elliot nodded and sighed heavily. "I know." He moved towards the door and looked back at Officer Stone. "Remember what I said." He said as he disappeared inside Olivia's room.

EOEOEOEOEO

An hour had passed and Olivia had fallen asleep. She'd been agitated when Elliot had told her what was going on and the nurse had given her a sedative to make her sleep. Elliot paced back and forth around the room, anxiously waiting for Fin. He felt naked without his gun. He wondered about Diaz and his game plan. Would he really come after her? And if he did, would it be there in the hospital? He knew he had no way of knowing. He just had to stay vigilant.

He heard a raised voices outside of the room and he stopped, torn between rushing for the door and staying next to Olivia.

"Stabler." He heard Fin's voice and he moved towards the door, looking back to make sure Olivia hadn't woken up. He closed the door behind him and looked at Officer Stone.

"It's OK. I know him."

"How's she doin'?" asked Fin.

She's upset and trying not to show it. The nurse put something in her IV to make her sleep, and Liv wasn't very happy about that."

Fin smiled. He could only imagine.

"They won't let her sleep long with the concussion." Elliot said. "So I'm sure I'll get another earful."

"I hate hospitals." Said Fin. "She probably just wants to go home."

"Yeah, she feels vulnerable here." Elliot agreed. "Hopefully she can go home tomorrow."

Fin handed him his gun and Elliot felt better having it. "Tell her to hang in there. I'll be back in the morning." He said. He leaned in. "You know we're not going to let anything happen to Liv. We've got her back."

"I appreciate it." Elliot said, clasping Fin's shoulder. "And so does Liv."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot dozed off and on in the lounge chair during the night. He was up once when a new officer came on to relieve Officer Stone. He woke up two other times when the nurse came in to wake Olivia and take her vital signs. They talked quietly until she fell back asleep, with Elliot holding her hand. She would never admit to being scared, but he knew her faith in ability to defend herself had been shaken. And that she felt especially vulnerable here in the hospital.

When she fell back asleep for the second time, Elliot looked at his watch and saw it was 4AM. He sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand. When she was sleeping, she looked so peaceful and it made him think about her as a child. He wondered if there had ever been a time when she could just be a kid…could sleep the sleep of an innocent child. He had heard a few stories, and it made him think that she probably hadn't. He thought she had probably had to grow up quickly; fend for herself. It made him want to protect her even more.

He watched her for a few more minutes and then he moved slowly off the bed. He sat down in the chair and pulled up the blanket. He was sleeping in just a few minutes.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot startled awake and looked at his watch, surprised to see it was almost 6AM. He hadn't meant to fall asleep ad he looked to see what had woken him up. He saw a nurse messing with Olivia's IV.

He stood up. "Who are you?" he asked sharply.

"My name is Emily." She said. "I'm the nurse."

Elliot looked towards the door and then looked back at the nurse. "Stop what you're doing." He didn't trust anyone.

"I'm just checking her IV." She said, a confused look on her face.

Elliot scrubbed his hand over his face, trying to wake up just a little more. The new uniform…he couldn't remember his name…came in the room.

"Everything OK?" he asked. He looked over at the nurse. "She's OK. I checked her credentials."

Elliot let out a sigh. "OK." The nurse went back to what she was doing and Elliot walked back out with the uniform.

"Is there any coffee around here?" He was angry with himself for falling asleep. The uni pointed to a door down the hallway and he headed in that direction.

He really hoped they were going to discharge Olivia today. There were too many people in and out of the hospital. It was too hard to protect her here. He walked into what looked like a small kitchen. He saw the coffee pot on the counter and poured himself a cup. He leaned against the counter, taking a few sips of the hot brew.

He thought about where they would go after they left the hospital. He didn't think it was a good idea to go to Olivia's apartment. It would be too easy to track her there. They could probably go to his apartment, but it wouldn't take too long for them to figure that out. Maybe they should hole up somewhere new…he'd have to talk to Cragen.

He took another sip of coffee and realized he had downed about half of it. He refilled the Styrofoam cup and headed back towards Olivia's room. He saw the officer still standing outside her door, and he turned and went back into the break room and poured a cup for him as well.

The officer thanked him as he handed it to him, and then he moved quietly into the room. He stopped short, dropping the cup of coffee when he looked at the bed…and saw it was empty.

"Olivia!" he yelled, panic coursing through him. He rushed over to the bed, pulling back the covers as if she would somehow magically appear. He turned back towards the door as the uniform rushed in, gun drawn.

They both turned as the door to the bathroom opened up and a stunned Olivia stood in the doorway, looking at the office that had his gun drawn and pointed at her. Elliot stuck his arm out and lowered the officer's gun arm and he apologized profusely as he put it back in his holster.

"Olivia!" Elliot said, rushing over to her as she stood there with her mouth agape. He put his hands on her shoulders and ran them down her arms. "Are you OK?"

"I was in the bathroom." She said. "What's going on?"

"I…" Elliot took a deep breath as he ran his hands back up her arms, resting them on her biceps. "I came back in the room. You were gone. I…I panicked."

"I'm fine." She looked around the room, a wary look on her face.

"Where's your IV?" he said, a puzzled look on his face as he realized she didn't have it attached to her arm any longer.

"The nurse took it out. That's what woke me." She shook her head. "And I had to use the bathroom." She pushed his hands from her arms. "I'm fine Elliot."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overreact. I just…" He reached for her then and pulled her into an embrace, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry."

Olivia relaxed against him, and she could feel his heartbeat as she rested her cheek against his chest. He had scared the crap out of her; she hated to admit that she was a little shaken to think that Diaz might still be after her. Despite all of her protests…telling everyone she could take care of herself…she realized that she never felt safer than she did at that moment.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks to everyone for hanging in there with me on this story! And thanks for the reviews!_

EOEOEOEOEO

They had ultimately ended up at an FBI safe house on the upper West Side; a small two-bedroom apartment that was sparsely furnished. They had snuck Olivia and Elliot out in an ambulance, transferring her into an SVU at Mercy, and then another in a unidentified parking garage. Olivia was exhausted and her head was pounding by the time the apartment had been checked out one last time and it was determined it was safe for her to leave the car parked in the secure, underground parking.

She collapsed on the couch as Elliot locked both deadbolts and turned to scan the small apartment.

Olivia sighed when she saw the intensity on his face. "They've already checked out the entire apartment." She said. "No one is here."

"You can never be too sure." He said, walking into the little kitchen alcove and back out again.

Olivia moaned and put a hand to her forehead, rubbing the skin there. "I just want to climb into bed."

"I was going to make us some dinner." He said as he started down the small hallway that he presumed led to the bedrooms and bathroom.

"I just want to sleep." She said, lying down and throwing her arm over her eyes to shut out the light. She knew Elliot had to be just as exhausted as she was; maybe more. She could hear him opening and closing doors, and while she appreciated his veracity, she knew that no less than five officers, including Fin, had already checked the place out.

Elliot came walking back down the hallway and came back into the living room, looking around the room again, his hands on his hips. He let out a big sigh and Olivia lifted her arm to look at him.

"It's fine El."

"Fine. Let's get some sleep. We can unpack our things later." He paused for a second, scanning the room again. "You take the first bedroom. There's no window in there and just one door. I'll take the back bedroom.

Olivia dropped her arm so it was resting across her stomach. "What do you mean?" she asked, giving him a quizzical look.

"I don't want you to have the room with the window." He said.

She pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Are you staying here?" she asked. She had assumed he would get her here safe and sound, and then there would be a rotation of uniforms on guard.

"Of course I'm staying here." He motioned towards a duffle bag that was sitting next to hers.

"Casey went and picked up clothes for you too?" She couldn't resist teasing him, but she honestly didn't know when he had left to get clothes. It seemed as if he'd been by her side since she let him in her hospital room. "Seriously. I don't expect you to stay here."

"Do you honestly think I'd leave you alone?"

She looked at him then, because she wanted to tell him that she would be fine. But honestly, she wanted him to stay. She hated to admit it, but she was upset at the thought of Diaz out there somewhere, making plans to come after her. She was questioning her ability to defend herself, even though she knew she shouldn't.

Elliot saw the hesitation on her face and he sat down next to her on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. "I'm not leaving you. Not until we have Diaz in custody. Or we know he's not a threat any longer."

Olivia realized this was the second time today that Elliot had his arms wrapped around her and it felt good. She had a fleeting thought that she could get used to this.

"Let's get you to bed." He said.

She stiffened slightly, wondering if he could hear the thoughts running through her head. She relaxed when she realized it was just that…in her head.

"It's been a long, stressful day for you and the doctor said you still need to rest. We need to get rid of these headaches."

"What about you?" Olivia asked. "You need to rest too."

"Don't worry about me." He said. He stood up and Olivia saw the grimace on his face.

"Are we on our own?" she asked. Her head had been pounding so heavily that she really hadn't been listening closely when Cragen was explaining the protective detail to Elliot.

Elliot shook his head. "No. There are two unmarked cars. One in front and one in back. There's an officer down with the doorman." He wanted to give her as much comfort as possible so she would be able to sleep. "We're not on our own." He looked down at her. "Do you need a sleeping pill?"

She stood up as he took a step back. "No. I don't need one." The truth was that she didn't want to be that knocked out. Just in case. "I'll get some rest on one condition."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes?"

"You need to get some rest too."

Elliot looked skeptical, but he knew he actually needed some sleep. That he would be in a better position to protect her. He hadn't really slept much in days. He knew there were plenty of people on high alert, so he might actually be able to fall asleep.

"Deal." He grabbed their duffle bags and headed down the hallway. He dropped Olivas's bag on the queen sized bed in the first bedroom and he turned as she followed him inside. She looked around and saw the door was open to a small closet. There was a three drawer dresser with a mirror on the wall to her left, and a small nightstand next to the bed.

Elliot saw the look on her face. "It's just temporary." He said, as if reading her mind.

"I know." She walked over and looked in the mirror, turning to look at the bruise on her cheek. She lifted up her t-shirt and turned slightly to see the black bruise across her lower back from where she'd landed in the tub.

She looked over at Elliot and saw the pained expression on his face. "We're a mess." She said, trying to laugh it off, but he didn't laugh with her.

He walked over and ran a finger lightly over the bruise. "I'm sorry." He said, apologizing once again.

Olivia shook her head. "Don't." she said. "We both know that all of this could have been a lot worse."

He nodded, because she was right.

"I know." He said simply, dropping his hand. "I'm going to let you get some sleep. Do you need anything else?"

Olivia shook her head. "You've done so much."

Elliot walked over to the door and turned to face her. "Listen to me. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all. OK?"

Olivia nodded and Elliot left and shut the door behind him. He headed down to the next room, his eyes scanning the room quickly. The room was furnished pretty much the same way as Olivia's, with the exception of a twin bed instead of a queen sized bed. He stripped off his jeans and his t-shirt, taking care with his bandaged ribs. He slipped on a pair of sweatpants and crawled in bed, feeling his exhaustion overwhelm him as soon as he lay down. He was out in seconds.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot heard Olivia screaming his name and no matter what he did, he couldn't seem to get to her. The sound was ripping right through him and even though he was running, she kept slipping further away. He yelled out her name and then jolted awake with a start.

He sat up in bed, his body coated with sweat and the sheets tangled around his legs. His breathing was heavy as he scanned the room, trying to remember where the hell he was.

It was a dream. A fucking nightmare.

He listened intently for any sign of movement. He was certain if he had screamed her name out loud or not. He lay back down and threw an arm over his eyes, trying to slow his breathing down.

"El?" he heard her voice, timid and unsure.

He bolted back up, trying unsuccessfully to disentangle himself from the sheets. He saw her standing by the doorway, half in and half out, her body partially shielded by the doorframe.

"Are you OK?" she asked.

"I'm find. It was just a bad dream…"

"I heard you yelling my name." she said hesitantly, almost as if she didn't want to hear about it, but felt compelled to ask.

"I'm sorry I woke you." Elliot said. And he really did feel badly. He knew she needed the rest. He grabbed his watch off the nightstand. "How long have we been sleeping?"

"Just about an hour and a half."

Elliot nodded and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

Olivia took in the disarray on the bed and the sweat still covering his bare chest. She felt bad that he was having nightmares; it was mostly her fault. She nodded, not wanting to argue with him because she knew he wasn't going to let her take the blame. "Do you think you can fall back asleep?" she asked instead.

Elliot blew out a breath through pursed lips. "Not really." He saw Olivia shiver then and he realized she was standing there in just a light blue tank top and some pajama shorts. His eyes roved down her body quickly and then back to her eyes, but it was just enough to have made her uncomfortable as he saw her cross her arms across her breasts. He stood up and grabbed the blanket off the bed and walked over to the doorway. He wrapped the blanket around her and she grabbed the edges, pulling it tight. "It's drafty in this old apartment." He said by way of explanation, feeling like an asshole at having let his eyes wander over her frame. He hadn't intended to…but it was hard not to. All the years of wondering what Olivia looked like underneath her practical daily clothes and then she was standing in front of him with clothing that left very little to the imagination.

And now he was a first grade prick because he life was in danger and he was standing here still thinking about her breasts straining at that tank top and those long, tan legs poking out from beneath those very short pajama bottoms.

 _Grade A asshole._

"How about I make us something to eat?" He asked. "I think they stocked us up with some groceries." He needed to change the subject. Get his mind off his desire for his partner before he spilled his guts and told her how much he loved her. Now was not the time.

Olivia nodded. "Sounds good." She walked down the hall with Elliot and stopped at her room, watching him walk the rest of the way. Well shit. She had seen Elliot without a shirt before, but he bulked up while she was in Oregon and the muscles on that man were ridiculous. She couldn't take her eyes off of him as he walked into the kitchen. And those sweatpants, slung low on his hips…it would take just one tug and they'd be at his ankles. She wondered if he was wearing anything beneath them.

 _Get your mind out of the gutter Benson_.

She had to find the right time to tell him how she felt. And that would _not_ include jumping him and ripping off his clothes. And least not in the first five minutes.

She found herself actually smiling as she walked into her bedroom to see if she could find something to pull over her pajamas.

EOEOEOEO

The spent the next few days in a slow rhythm. Olivia's headaches were almost non-existent, and Elliot's ribs were healing nicely. He had removed the bandage from his hand and the cuts were almost healed. They both agreed that they were pretty bored, but that it was an acceptable alternative to being chased by a murderer/rapist/trafficker. There had been a continued search for any sign of Diaz, but no one had any leads as to his whereabouts. The most promising thing was that they hadn't received any other communication from him. No more messages and no more photos.

What they couldn't decide is if that was a good thing, meaning he was long gone. Or a bad thing, meaning he wanted them to _think_ he was long gone.

Olivia was curled up on the couch in leggings and a t-shirt, with one of Elliot's sweatshirts on for warmth. It wasn't especially cold outside, but the apartment was drafty and she spent most of the time trying to ward off the cold. Elliot was sitting on the other end of the couch, and they were sharing the daily newspaper.

"Ready to switch?" he asked, looking over at her.

"Just a minute." She said as she finished up the local news. After a few minutes, she held out the paper towards him and they switched so she could read the headline news.

"Jeez Liv. Your hands are cold!" Elliot said as his hand swiped hers.

"I know. My feet are too." She said and she stretched a leg out and pressed her cold foot against his bare arm. "I don't know how you can sit around in just a t-shirt."

Elliot jumped when her cold foot hit his bare skin. "Christ!" He grabbed her foot and rubbed it lightly, tugging her down towards him slightly. He took her other foot and soon they were both resting in his lap. "Don't you have any socks?" He continued to rub her feet.

"Casey didn't grab any for me." She said as he moved from rubbing to lightly massage the sole of one foot. "But this is so much better." She snuggled down into the couch and closed her eyes. "So much better." She said, dropping her voice an octave.

As soon as the words came out, she was embarrassed because it was practically a moan. She opened her eyes and pulled herself up, trying to pull her foot from Elliot's hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She didn't even know how to finish that sentence.

Elliot laughed. "Moan?" he said, teasing her.

"It wasn't a moan."

"It most certainly was." Elliot said. The tone of her voice had sent a rush of heat through his body; she had always had a low, sexy voice, but hearing that half moan made him wonder…

"Elliot." She said, her tone demanding now as he continued to manipulate her foot between his strong fingers.

"Knock it off." He said. "Just lay back and enjoy it."

There was a protest on her lips because certainly this wasn't something partners do. She and Elliot don't touch each other unless absolutely necessary; it was one of the unspoken rules. Well, they didn't touch until the past few days…

She tried to convince herself that it was just due to the circumstances. Certainly the danger they'd been in called for a hug here and there.

But she knew things were changing, especially with the time they were spending together. They were more cavalier about how they dressed around each other. The day Olivia had woken up to Elliot's nightmare, she had run to his room barely clothed out of concern, and had felt uncomfortable when he finally noticed. Today, she'd had breakfast wearing those very same clothes.

It seems Elliot liked to walk around with just sweatpants or running pants on…and she was pretty certain there was nothing on underneath.

Were they both subconsciously trying to tell the other something? Was this her way of letting him know that she was OK if something happened between them without actually having to say the words.

She let out another moan as Elliot hit tender spot on her foot, and this time, she didn't apologize.

Elliot looked down at her after the second moan, and saw she had her eyes closed. Her hair was slightly messed up from having slid farther down on the couch and he could see a small smile on her lips. He took that opportunity to look at her…really look at her. He had looked at her every day for over eight years, but never really got the opportunity to study her. He thought that she was even more beautiful than when she was younger. Time had filled in some of the angles, and made her softer. He could see a small smattering of freckles across her nose, and he reminded himself to tell her that she looked better without make-up.

He imagined her in his bed…peeling her clothes and being able to see all of her. She was the exact opposite of his ex-wife, all curves and softness, olive skin and long legs. He wanted to run his hands up the curve of her hips, to the dip of her waist. Splay his hands across her ribcage and feel the weight of her breasts in his hands. He wondered what she tasted like…and what sound she would make when she came.

He had thought about making love to her…and he imagined it would be a bit untamed…that she wouldn't be a passive participant. He wondered if his desire for her would be enough. She'd had so much more experience then him…he'd been married to the same woman for well over 20 years. Would he be able to satisfy a woman like her?

He felt her shift then, and he turned his attention back to her feet.

"God Elliot. That feels wonderful. I'm going to have to get a foot rub from you every day." She laughed lightly then, surprised at her boldness now.

"I think that can be arranged." Elliot said, smiling back at her, even though her eyes were still closed. He thought about trailing his hands up her legs, wondering what she would do, when they heard a knock at the door. They both jumped at the sound and Olivia's eyes flew open.

"I'm sure it's just a shift change." Elliot said. It had been hard to keep track of the time with nothing to do, and each new uniform on duty always announced themselves. He got up and Olivia sat up on the couch as well.

Elliot looked through the peephole before he opened the door. "Hey Captain." He said as Cragen walked in the door.

"Is everything OK?" Olivia asked, seeing the stern expression on Cragen's face.

Cragen sighed. "Yeah, I just wanted to give both of you an update. In person. It looks like you're going to be here for a few more days. We got another message."


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia stood up and Elliot moved back to stand next to her as Cragen made his way into the living room.

"What was the message?" Olivia asked, her anxiety spiking. "What did it say?"

Cragen sat down in the chair and Elliot and Olivia sat down on the couch. Elliot wanted to throw a protective arm around her, or at last take her hand, but he knew he couldn't do either with Cragen sitting there.

"It didn't say anything. There was a message. Not a note." Cragen said.

"Did he send another photo?" Olivia asked, cringing inwardly. She had no idea what photos existed and she and Elliot had talked about the possibility of those getting on to the internet. TARU was going to look for them, which also made her cringe. She didn't need everyone in the department seeing her in her underwear, or worse.

"In a manner of speaking." Cragen said.

"Will you stop beating around the bush and just tell us?" Olivia said, her voice escalating. She was frustrated with how cryptic he was being with his update.

"He got into your apartment and trashed the place." He said, not surprised when he saw the shocked expression on her face. "There were photos of you scattered everywhere."

Olivia put a hand to her mouth, muffling a gasp of surprise. _Someone had destroyed her apartment?_ "How much damage is there?" It gave her chills to think about someone invading her private space.

Elliot stood up, clearly frustrated. "What the hell is going on? How did he get in there? Don't you have anyone watching her place?"

"Of course we do." He said, annoyed that Elliot was questioning him. "We assumed he'd show up sooner or later."

"Then how the hell did he get in there?" Elliot said. He was yelling now, and pacing back and forth in the small room.

Olivia could see the anger flushing his skin and knowing Elliot, that rage would erupt soon, in one way or another.

"I think that's the point." Cragen said. "He was sending a message that he can get to her, despite what we do."

Elliot froze in place, because he knew Cragen was right. "Why the hell can't we track this guy down?" He said, his jaw clenching as he spoke. He looked back and forth between Olivia and Cragen. "I need to get out there. I'm going to track this fucker down myself since no one else seems to be able to do it." He had been happy to stay with Olivia and keep her safe when he thought the NYPD was doing their job, but this latest development had him pissed off.

"That's not going to happen." Cragen said.

"The hell." Elliot yelled.

Olivia stood up and walked over to him, upset at the thought of him leaving her alone. She didn't like to admit it, but she'd grown accustomed to his being there. She felt safe while he was in the apartment. She wasn't sure she would feel the same if she was alone, despite her training. He had overpowered her once…

She put a hand on his bicep and could feel how rigidly his entire body was. It was as if every fiber of his being was coiled like a snake, ready to pounce. "El." He turned to look down at her. "I need you to stay here with me." She said.

Elliot was surprised by her confession. The Olivia Benson he knew would never admit she was scared. They had spent the last few days not really talking about it, so he had wrongly assumed she was getting over it. But she must still be more rattled than she let on.

Unless she was just trying to keep him from doing something stupid. That was a strong possibility as well.

"I'm not going to hurt him." _Lie #1._ "I just want to find him and get him behind bars." _Lie #2_. "I need to make sure he never touches you again." _Truth_.

"But I need you _here_." She said. "I don't want to be alone. Or with some strange uni."

Cragen watched the interaction between them. He knew that nothing he said would get through to Elliot. But he would listen to Olivia. At least this time he would, because her personal safety was at risk.

Elliot felt torn. In some ways, he didn't trust anyone else to stay with her and keep her safe. He never had. But he had this driving desire to find this man and ring his neck with his bare hands. Pay him back for everything he had done. _No one_ hurt the people he loved. _No one_.

He let out a frustrated sound from deep inside and walked away from her, moving towards the hallway. He slammed his damaged hand against the wall, shaking the one piece of bad art off the wall. He turned towards Cragen, pointing a finger at him. "Get that fucker!"

He turned back and stormed down the hall and they heard a door slam a few seconds later.

Cragen raised an eyebrow. "Things going OK?" He had been worried about the two of them cooped up together. Their relationship had always been volatile…they knew all the best ways to hurt each other. A couple of days cooped up in this kind of stressful situation could be a recipe for disaster. But they were also incredibly close. At the first sign of attack from anyone but each other, they closed ranks, defending each other to the end.

He'd been watching them over the years, keeping an eye on them. And he didn't think they had ever crossed the line. But a situation like this changed things. He had been questioning the wisdom of having Elliot here with her, but the truth was, it was the only thing that let him sleep at night. Because he knew that Elliot would defend her…even to death.

"It's fine." Olivia said quietly. "It's a little boring."

Cragen was surprised at her answer. But thinking about it now, he could understand what she was saying. These two weren't used to a lot of downtime. But he was thankful they were bored, because that meant they were safe. "I would think boring is good." He said.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right." She let out a small frustrated sigh. "I guess I was just hoping that I'd be home by now." She stood up and started walking towards the window, and then thought better of it. She turned back to the Captain. "I can't believe he's still really here in town. That's just crazy. He can't be serious about this threat." She said.

Cragen shook his head. "I tend to agree with you. I think that was a final hurrah. Just to show us up. But my gut is telling me that he's left town."

"So…" Olivia said.

"We're just going to give it a few more days. We need to be sure. Or as sure as we can be."

Olivia dropped down on the couch. "OK. I suppose I can survive a few more days."

"Need anything?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head. "Nah. We'll survive."

"OK. Well, I'm heading out." Cragen stood up and moved towards the door. "Just let the uni know if you need something." He said. Neither she or Elliot could have their cell phones, so they were stuck with this archaic game of telephone.

Cragen left and Olivia locked both deadbolts behind him and leaned against the door. She looked down the hallway and tried to decide if she should go talk to Elliot, or if she should let him cool off.

She opted to let him cool off. She went back to the couch, picked up the paper, and looked for where she had left off.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia was making dinner when she heard the door to Elliot's room open and heard him come walking down the hall. She looked at her watch, and saw he had been stewing in the other room for over an hour. She had no idea what kind of mood he was going to be in, so she kept cutting up tomatoes for her salad and ignored him.

He came into the small kitchen and she heard the refrigerator door open. She heard it slam a few seconds later and let out a sigh. He apparently hadn't calmed down much and she wasn't in the mood for his pissy behavior.

"Why don't we have any beer?" he asked with an edge to his voice.

Olivia didn't look up from what she was doing. "I don't really think it's a good time to be drinking. That's why we don't have any beer." She said curtly.

"One goddamned beer isn't going to going to make a difference." He snapped, still standing in front of the fridge. "Anything to break out this damned monotony."

"I'm sorry that staying here with me is so boring." She dumped her tomatoes on top of her salad and set the knife down.

"I wasn't saying that. I'm just frustrated. I want this guy behind bars!" He snapped back.

"And you think I don't?" She was nearly yelling now as she whirled around, her salad bowl in her hand. "You're not the one with the goddamned target on your back. You're not the one that was bent over a desk…ten seconds from being raped by some sociopath!" She yelled, throwing her salad in the sink, the glass bowl shattering with a satisfying sound.

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it. It was like all of the air had been pulled from the room, and she saw the look on Elliot's face as her words registered with him.

 _Goddamnit_! She hadn't told anyone about that. On purpose. She didn't need another reason for people to treat her like a victim. To think that she couldn't protect herself.

Wh..what? You said he didn't…" Elliot's voice trailed off and she saw the stricken look on his face. He reached for her but she slapped his hand away.

"He didn't!" She snapped as she pushed past him and headed down the short hallway towards her bedroom.

"Olivia." He called after her. "Wait." He rushed after her.

She turned when she reached her bedroom door. "Just leave me the fuck alone Elliot." He stopped in his tracks a few feet away from her. "In fact, you're so damned anxious to get out of her? Go. Just leave."

"Olivia."

She shook her head. Mad at her confession. Angry about this entire situation. "I don't want you here." She said with so much vehemence that she almost believed it herself. She turned and walked into her room and slammed the door behind her, making sure to lock it before she dropped down onto the bed and buried her face in her arms. She let out a scream of frustration.

This wasn't her life. Hiding out in some apartment. Being afraid…of Diaz. Of anything.

Being in love with her partner…crossing all kinds of boundaries that she'd sworn she'd never cross. That's why she went to computer crimes. And Oregon.

This was Gitano all over again. All of these emotions overwhelming her.

Because as much as she wanted Elliot to leave right now, she was more afraid that he would.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot stood outside the door, his anger and frustration gone, as his mind dealt with the new piece of information she had thrown out. _Diaz had tried to rape her?_ He wondered if she was telling him the whole story. She had let that much leak out. Was there more? And if she was telling the truth, then what had caused Diaz to stop?

He should have known there was more than she was telling him. There always was. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but he knew she wouldn't let him in. She needed some space, and just like she had let him cool off, he would do the same.

He went back into the kitchen and pulled her broken salad bowl from the sink. He scooped up the salad contents and threw it all in the trash. He decided he would make some dinner for both of them, and then maybe by that time she'd be willing to talk to him.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia pounded her fists on the bed and muffled her screams into her pillow. She thought she very well might be having a first class temper tantrum, which was so absolutely unlike her that it almost made her laugh. She stopped and rolled over on her back, staring at the ceiling.

Her mind was in turmoil…a million thoughts racing through her mind. She had never been less sure of herself…of what she wanted.

Or perhaps the problem was that she was _very_ certain about what she wanted. And she couldn't put that genie back in the bottle. She had made a deal with whatever power had saved her and now she had to follow through. No more running. No more denial.

There just hadn't been a good time. She wasn't sure that a confession of love while you're on the run from some crazy sociopath was the right thing to do.

She wished she knew how he felt; what he would say. Because while she was pretty certain he had feelings for her…she didn't know if they matched hers. If he would give up everything, including their partnership.

She rolled over on her side and wrapped her arms around a pillow. She closed her eyes and snuggled in.

She wondered what would happen if she broke the deal she had made. Maybe they could keep things the way they were. She could deal with that. It was safe.

She didn't have a chance to consider it any more before she fell asleep.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot had finished making his favorite family dish, lasagna, and it was baking in the oven. He hadn't heard any more noise coming from Olivia's room, and he wondered what she was doing. He knew he should apologize for being such as ass, but he knew he probably wouldn't. He never did…even when he knew he should.

He walked over to the bedroom door and put an ear against it to see if he could hear anything. There was nothing. He lifted his hand to knock again, but then dropped it. He decided he would leave her alone until dinner was ready.

He knew part of his anger and frustration wasn't just about Diaz. Part of it was the lack of activity. He wasn't used to just sitting around. He needed some exercise…some fresh air.

But he also knew that part of his frustration was that he'd blown a couple of really good chances…quiet moments…to tell Olivia exactly what he was feeling. It had been on his lips several times as he sat on the opposite end of the couch from her, enjoying a lazy afternoon of reading. He watched her, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words. And he didn't know why.

Maybe it was because he was afraid she would run again. Afraid of history repeating itself. He shook his head at the memory of coming to work and finding out she had requested a transfer. And worse yet, of calling her cell phone and finding it had been disconnected. At least in Computer Crimes, he had known where she was. When she was in Oregon, he had no idea of what she was doing or when she'd be back. Those had been the worst days of his life.

He knew she felt the same way he did. That's why she ran.

No more.

He had to tell her…and then convince her to stay. Because not telling her wasn't an option any more.

Maybe tonight wouldn't be the right time. There was too much anger and frustration and hostility still circling around the apartment. They needed some time to cool off so they could have some perspective. But tonight was the night he was going to apologize to her.

He owed her that. For today and for so many other times he should have over the past eight years.

He let out a heavy sigh and checked on the lasagna. It was almost done, so he quietly set the table and made her a salad. When he had everything ready to go, he walked back down and knocked lightly on her door.

"Liv." He said quietly. He didn't hear anything so he knocked a little harder. "Liv. Dinner's ready."

He heard shuffling then, and soft footsteps as she walked to the door. She unlocked it and opened the door a crack and he could tell she had been sleeping. She swiped a hand over one side of her face and he loved the slightly confused look she had on her face.

"Huh?" she asked sleepily, and he could tell she had forgotten she was still mad at him.

"I made dinner."

She furrowed her brow. "What?"

"Dinner. I made dinner." He said, a small smile on his face. He didn't think it normally took her this long to wake up. She must have been sleeping heavily.

"OK."

She opened the door and he put up a hand to stop her as she started to walk out of the room. "Just one more thing."

She stopped and gave him a quizzical look. "What?"

He reached out and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry."

She looked down at their clasped hands and then back up at him. "What are you doing?" she asked. Elliot _never_ apologized.

"I'm apologizing to you." He said with a small smile on his face.

"For what?"

"For everything."


	11. Chapter 11

**This is from the end of the last chapter. Just a little reminder.**

 _He reached out and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry."_

 _She looked down at their clasped hands and then back up at him. "What are you doing?" she asked. Elliot never apologized._

" _I'm apologizing to you." He said with a small smile on his face._

" _For what?"_

" _For everything."_

EOEOEOEO

"Who are you and what have you done with my partner?" she joked as she pulled her hand from his. She was joking because she didn't know what to do with his apology. It caught her so off-guard. She slid by him and walked towards the living room, a little unsettled by everything that had happened that day.

Elliot pivoted, surprised by her reaction to his apology. It had been sincere, and incredibly hard for him. He followed her down the hallway and grabbed her upper arm gently as she reached the living room. "Wait."

She turned to look back at him, and he dropped his hand, suddenly nervous.

"I mean it." He said. "I'm really sorry."

Olivia looked into his eyes, and she could see the intensity there. It scared her a little, because this wasn't the Elliot she knew. She counted on the fact that he was quick to anger and took it out on inanimate objects. She counted on the fact that he bottled everything up inside and never shared any real emotion with her. And he never apologized to her. They fought…the shut each other out…they got over it.

This. She didn't know how to deal with this.

"This wasn't your fault Elliot. This is all on _me_. I'm the one that insisted we storm into that warehouse. None of this would have happened if I had listened to you." She sighed heavily. "I didn't mean to let that slip earlier…about Diaz."

"I can't believe you _didn't_ tell me about that." Elliot said.

Olivia dropped her eyes to the floor. "I didn't want to give you another reason to make you think I can't defend myself. To make you rethink being my partner."

Elliot closed the gap between them now and put one hand on her shoulder while he lifted her chin with his other, forcing her to meet his eyes. He shook his head slightly. "Olivia Benson. How many times do I have to tell you that we're partners…for better or for worse? I can't imagine not having you at my side."

She was holding his gaze and she looked back and forth between them, seeing sincerity there. And then suddenly, his hand was cupping her cheek and his lips were pressed against hers. She could barely register the kiss before he pulled back, dropping his hands from her body.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly. "I…" He wasn't quite sure what to say because he wasn't really sorry. He had been agonizing over his feelings for her, trying to find the right time and Lord knows this probably wasn't it but…it didn't matter because the next thing he knew, Olivia had lifted her arms around his neck and was kissing him. He tangled one hand through her hair, his mind reeling. _She was kissing him back_. She tilted her head and opened her mouth, deepening the kiss and a small sound escaped from his mouth. He wrapped his other arm loosely around her waist, pulling her body closer to his.

He was devouring her mouth and she felt a rush of heat straight to her core. His lips were slightly rough, and his day old stubble was scraping her cheeks, but she relished the way his mouth moved against hers; like he had been kissing her for years…like she belonged to only him. Possessive. Demanding.

She let out a small moan when he dipped his tongue into her mouth and she met his eagerly with hers. She ran one hand down his arm, clutching his bicep…feeling the muscles there. She imagined those arms pinning her down against the bed and another moan escaped.

"Christ Olivia" he rasped into her open mouth before dipping his tongue into her open mouth again. Every sound that came from her mouth was going straight to his groin and his dick was straining against his jeans. Her hand left his arm and she wrapped her arm around him, running her hand across his lower back and pulling his body closer.

He knew she had to be able to feel his desire for her against her hip; their bodies were pressed so intimately together. He could feel her breasts pushed into his chest and he wanted to touch her…to taste her. He ripped his mouth from hers to allow them each to catch a breath, and he used his fingers tangled in her hair to tug her head back slightly, baring her neck to him. He placed open mouthed kisses along her jawline and then trailed his tongue down her neck, and he felt her fingers reach under the hem of his t-shirt, her short fingernails grazing the skin on his back.

His mind registered the feel of her hands on him…and as much as he wanted to continue this, he realized this was moving too quickly. She'd just been through a traumatic event…he didn't want to take advantage of her vulnerability right now.

He pulled his mouth from her neck and pulled his body back slightly from hers, dropping his hand that was tangled in her hair and loosening the hand wrapped around her waist. "Stop." He rasped.

She was surprised when he pulled his mouth from her neck, and his body from hers. She knew he wanted her and it confused her for a moment. Then she smiled as she understood what this was about. All that good Catholic, altar boy upbringing was surfacing. He was being a gentleman. She grabbed his hand in hers. "Elliot…" She tugged him a step closer. "I kissed you back." She wasn't sure what was going through his mind right now, but she knew he was probably kicking himself for kissing her first and that he was thinking things were going too quickly. What he couldn't know is that she was grateful he made the first move, because she didn't know if she would have had the nerve to do it. She wanted to take things farther. She was ready. So ready. "I'm not some 15-year-old girl."

Elliot allowed her to tug him towards her, but he braced his arm against the wall behind her head.

 _God he wanted her_.

He shook his head. "I know that."

"I'm not sorry you kissed me." She said, trying to let him know how she felt without having to say the words.

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sorry I kissed you either." He said, his eyes dropping to look at the floor. "But…" He wanted to scream. Why was this so hard? He wanted to pick her up and carry her into that bedroom and make love to her. Years of pent up sexual frustration were begging him to do it. But he didn't want to mess this up. He didn't want her to think this was all about sex…when it was so much more.

Olivia dipped her head to try to get him to look her in the eyes. "But what?"

He looked back up at her and she straightened up, her brown eyes boring into his. "I don't want to mess up."

She smiled then. He obviously had no idea that she felt the same way he did. "Elliot." She said quietly, raising a hand to caress his face. "You're not messing anything up. I feel the same way…"

Elliot placed his hand over hers. He heard what she was saying, but he wasn't sure she was thinking clearly right now. This was a big step for them and they needed to talk this through. She had to know how serious he was about this. And he had to know that she felt the same way. He didn't think she would risk everything for a fling, but he had to be sure because this changed everything. _Everything._ "Can we…" he swallowed hard. "Dinner's done. Let's have dinner."

Olivia let her hand drop, and Elliot saw a small look of disappointment on her face. He was trying to do the right thing here; she had to understand that. She gave him a smile and nodded. Her lips parted…she wanted to say something to let him know that she understood what he was saying, but she saw the expression on his face and she dropped it. "Is there wine?"

EOEOEOEOEOEO

They ate dinner in relative silence, talking about the kids and dinner and family recipes. It was as if neither one of them knew how to bring up what had happened, so they let it go for now. They had finished dinner and were just starting to clean up when there was a knock at the door. They both tensed slightly, having momentarily forgotten the reason they were stuck in this apartment in the first place.  
Elliot went to the door and looked through the peephole as he motioned for Olivia to stay back. He swung the door open and Olivia saw Fin come through the door.

"Thought you two might be ready to kill each other being cooped up in here, so thought I'd come over and we could watch the basketball game." He held up a six pack of beer. "I figured one beer couldn't do any damage." He said. They didn't need to know that Cragen had sent him over to check up on them and see how they were doing. If they were cracking under the pressure.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and then back at Fin. So much for talking things through tonight. She looked at her watch and saw it was almost 8:30. "What time does the game start?" she asked, running the side of her hand across her brow and down across her cheek.

"Shit. Game started at 8." He said, hustling into the living room and shucking off his leather jacket. He grabbed a beer and sat down, grabbing the remote control and turning the TV on. Elliot turned to look at her and shrugged his shoulders.

"You go watch the game with Fin and I'll clean up." She said.

"I can help."

"You made dinner." She made a shooing motioned and he nodded as he walked into the living room. He decided to pass on the beer since he'd had a glass of wine. He couldn't forget why he was here, and he wanted his senses to be sharp.

When Olivia finished up the dishes and had put away the leftovers, she wandered into the living room. Elliot and Fin were engaged in the game, and they shushed her when she asked the score. She laughed as she plopped down in the chair, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them. She wasn't a huge fan of sports, least of all basketball. She watched for about twenty minutes, then decided maybe a hot bath sounded good.

She got up from the chair. "I'm going to go take a hot bath." She said. "And then I'm going to climb into bed."

"Hey, you don't need to do that." Elliot said. He turned to Fin. "We can find something else to watch."

Olivia laughed when she saw the look on Fin's face. There was no way they were turning off the game. "No, really. I'm tired." She looked over at Fin. "Night Fin."

He waved at her. "Night Liv."

She gave Elliot a tight smile. This was really not the way she had envisioned this night ending. "Night El."

She could tell he wanted to say something as he glanced over at Fin before looking back at her. "Night Liv. Just let me know if you need anything." He said.

She nodded and gave him another smile as she walked down the hall and shut the door to her bedroom. She gathered her stuff and went across the hall into the bathroom. She sunk into the hot water and closed her eyes, thinking about the kisses she had shared with Elliot earlier in the evening. The feel of his mouth against hers, his hard body pressed against hers. She had felt every glorious inch of him pressed up against her and she moaned slightly at the thought. She slid her hands over her breasts and then over her stomach, tempted to let her hands slip lower. But despite the want coursing through her body, it was Elliot's hands and mouth that she wanted on her body…and now that she knew what his lips felt like against hers…she didn't want to wait much longer.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up and looked at the clock on her nightstand. It had been hard to fall asleep, and so she was surprised to see it was a little after midnight. She'd been sleeping for a couple of hours. She listened carefully, wondering what sound had woken her. She realized Fin must have left because the apartment was quiet. Elliot must be in bed as well; the apartment had that kind of feeling to it. She wondered if he was awake, and if he was, was he thinking about her? She closed her eyes her, her body still aching with want.

She sat up in bed and reached for her robe. She sat for a second before she screwed up her courage and got up and walked to the door. She poked her head out, and saw the apartment was dark as she thought it would be. She walked quietly down to Elliot's room and saw the door was open. She realized there must be a full moon tonight, or damn near, because light was streaming in through a crack in the curtain and she could see Elliot lying on his back with one arm thrown over his eyes. He had a sheet pulled up to his waist, and one bare leg was cocked and poking out from beneath the sheet. She swallowed hard, desire flooding through her body as she let her eyes rove over his chest and his arms, his breathing slow and steady. She walked little farther into the room, being as quiet as she could. She stopped a few feet from him and watched him sleep. She smiled at seeing this rare, unguarded moment.

Elliot woke with a start, sensing someone was in the room. He lifted his arm and saw Olivia standing there and he sucked in a breath. The moonlight was streaming in through the window and she was standing there in a white robe and the whole scene was almost ethereal. _Was he dreaming_?

"Liv." He rasped, his voice hoarse from sleep. Then he realized this wasn't a dream and their circumstances and sat up quickly. "Are you OK? Did something happen?"

She could hear the panic in his voice. "Yes." She said quickly, meaning to confirm that everything was OK. "I mean no. Nothing happened." She said quickly, realizing her mistake. "Everything's fine." Olivia felt nerves slip down her spine. She wanted him…and she knew he wanted her. But Elliot had been right; she had been through a lot. She didn't think it would affect her but if it was one thing she learned, those things could creep up on you. Which was why she was taking control now. She wanted him and she trusted Elliot implicitly; he would understand that need.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, rubbing his hand across his face and looking over at the clock on the nightstand.

"Yeah, something like that." She said quietly, toying with the sash of her robe.

Elliot watched her expression, trying to figure out what was going on with her. For the first time in a long time, he couldn't read the expression on her face.

"Elliot. I…" A mixture of nerves and desire coursed through her body.

Elliot heard her say his name and then his attention focused on her hand as she tugged at the sash of her robe and letting it fall. The next thing he knew, she had shrugged it off her shoulders and it fell to the ground. He sucked in a breath as she stood before him, the moonlight streaming across her body, naked except for a small patch of satin at the juncture of her thighs. He couldn't stop looking at her…his eyes moved from the small scrap of material down her long, toned legs and then back up again. He drank in her dark skin as he moved up her body, stopping at her breasts. Her nipples were dark and peaked and he felt a deep stirring in his groin, causing him to swallow hard. He tore his eyes away and looked up. He saw her watching him, her face passive as he took her in. There was no mistaking the desire in her eyes as she looked at him through her long, dark lashes and he saw a small smile play across her lips.

 _Jesus fucking Christ_. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and there was no way he could deny her now. And she knew it.

"Olivia." He said softly, his tone slightly pleading. But he knew it was over…he wasn't going to fight her. He'd been crazy to think they could take this slowly. That first kiss had been their undoing…the boundaries they'd respected..shot to hell.

Elliot pulled back the sheet and swung his legs out so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He saw Olivia's eyes sweep over him as he sat there in his boxers and she took a step closer. He hesitated a second before he reached for her, resting his hands in the dip of her waist.

He saw goosebumps break out across her skin as he rubbed his thumbs back and forth against her skin. She was close enough that he could smell the scent of her soap and shampoo waft over him and he inhaled deeply, trying to wrap his head around what was happening.

He was just staring at her stomach as he continued to caress her skin. He was slightly nervous…he'd been married to the same person for over twenty years. He had never questioned his capability before…he knew he was a good lover. But a woman like Olivia…

Olivia sensed his reticence and she reached up, caressing his cheek. He looked up at her and saw a small smile on her lips. "Don't tell me you've forgotten what to do when you have a naked woman standing in front of you." She teased, trying to shake him out of his reverie. She knew he was overthinking this. She took a step closer and pushed him down on the bed. "Let me help you." She climbed on top of him then, straddling him as she pressed her mouth against his.

Any questions he had were gone as he opened his mouth to her. He let a small growl rip from his throat and he rolled them over, causing a small gasp from her as their positions were reversed. He had his legs on the outside of her thighs, and his erection was pressed intimately against her as he devoured her mouth.

Olivia felt that same demanding possession in his kisses and she kissed him back with the same veracity. He had one hand tangled in her hair and then she felt his other hand slide up her side, causing another eruption of goosebumps across her skin. Her nipples were scraping against the hard muscles of his chest and she lifted her hips, pressing against him. She felt his hand on her breast then and she gasped as he flicked his thumb across her nipple…sending shivers through her body as he did it over and over again.

Elliot felt her fingernails scrape down his back and he knew she was leaving marks but he didn't care. She kept lifting her hips and then he felt her wrap her long legs around him, pressing him even harder against her. God, he wanted to take every second to feel and taste every inch of her but he didn't know if he could wait. He wanted to be buried deep inside of her.

He pulled his mouth from hers and slid his tongue down her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin there. He was leaving his own marks against her skin…marking her as his. His hand slid down, reaching for the waistband of her impossibly small panties and he felt her hand on his. "Not so fast." She whispered.

Elliot pulled his mouth from her neck and looked at her. "What?" If she was changing her mind on him now, he was going to be walking around with a hard on for days.

She laughed then, an open, uninhibited sound that took him completely by surprise. "I'm not that much of a cock tease El." She said. She took advantage of his surprise and pushed up against him, forcing him to flip over on his back. Olivia slid off the bed and stood between his legs, which were still dangling off the bed slightly.

She licked her lips and gave him a sultry smile and Elliot felt his dick twitch…anticipation of what she was going to do coursing through his body. She positioned her body between his legs and bent over, reaching for his boxers. He drew in a sharp breath. She heard it and looked up at him, raising a brow as she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth. She hesitated a moment, her long fingers running back and forth underneath the waistband. "Am I making you nervous?" she said. She dipped her head down, her hair trailing along his stomach. She moved lower and he gasped as she placed her mouth on him through his boxers. She looked up at him again, an innocent smile on her face.

 _Pure sin._ The thought registered for just a second before he was jerked back to the present when he realized she was pulling his boxers down over his hips, freeing his erection.

Olivia looked up at him again, and she saw he was watching her. She shook her head. Goddamned cocky son of a bitch had every reason to be and he knew it. She felt the slickness between her legs, and clenched her thighs together. She wondered briefly if she could take him and she knew she was going to enjoy trying. She moved down his body as she slid his boxers lower, standing up again as she tugged them off.

He watched as she hooked her fingers into the thin straps of her panties and she started to tug them down. He sat up quickly and rasped out. "No!"

She stopped and raised an eyebrow, another mischievous smile crossing her lips. He was up in a second, pulling her towards him so she was standing between his legs again. He hooked his fingers into her panties and pulled them down, watching as they dropped down her long legs. His eyes traveled back up her body and he kissed the spot that the scrap of satin had been hiding. He placed kisses on her stomach and she moaned and dropped her head back as he took her breast in his mouth. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders as he teased her sensitive nipples with his tongue. He ran his hands around to her ass, cupping her cheeks with his hands and squeezing. He moaned against her breast as he let his fingers wander down from her ass, seeking her heat. He felt how wet she was and he moaned again. He bit down on her nipple and Olivia jumped, startled as a jolt shot through her body.

"Elliot" she moaned. "I want you inside me. Now."

His mouth left her breast and she pushed him back on the bed, climbing up his body and placing kisses on his abdomen and his chest as she worked her way up his body. Her long hair trailed along his skin and his muscles clenched in anticipation. When she reached his mouth, she spread her legs and he felt her lower herself so he was sliding through her folds.

He moaned as she lowered her mouth against his, dipping her tongue inside and tangling with his.

He had thought about having sex with Olivia a million times but he had expected a push and pull between them…a fight over control. He hadn't expected this level of dominance from her...but he wasn't complaining. He hoped there would be plenty of other opportunities for them to learn everything there was to know everything there was to know about each other.

She pulled her mouth from his and trailed her tongue along her lower lip. She slid along his erection and he moaned again.

"You ready for me?" she asked, her lips ghosting over his. She positioned herself so that he was lined up with her entrance and she pushed up with her arms and lower herself so he penetrated her slightly. She rested her hands on his chest as she sat up farther and she closed her eyes and let out a loud moan as she slid down his length, burying him deep inside of her.

"Jesus Liv." Elliot groaned as he felt her walls tight around him. Olivia lifted up slightly and widened her legs. She slid back down slowly and Elliot dug his fingers into her ass as she buried him even deeper inside her.

He opened his eyes and saw Olivia perched above him. Her head was thrown back and her eyes were closed. He saw the muscles of her stomach were taut, her nipples hard and he practically came from the sight of her. His senses were on overload and he needed to move…

He sat up and her eyes flew open as he placed his hand on her hips. He lifted her up and slammed her back down and she gasped. She gave him a seductive smile then and she ran her hands through his short hair. She lifted her body, his hands guiding her, and she rotated her hips slightly before she slid down his length again. They room was filled with their moaning as they kept up the pace; the sound of their bodies connecting over and over again. Olivia dug her fingernails into his shoulders and Elliot moved his hands back around to her ass, squeezing her as he continued to guide her movement.

"Fuck Liv." He dropped his head against her shoulder as her felt her walls clenching around him. He needed her to come…he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. He felt her entire body trembling and he knew she was close. He reached down between them and connected with her sensitive clit, using his thumb against her as she continued to move. She was cursing his name now; one long unintelligible steam of words coming from her mouth and he wondered if she would scream when she came.

In the end, she came quietly, her teeth digging into his shoulder as her body came undone around him. The vise-like grip of her walls forced his own orgasm, and he gave in freely, giving her everything he had and loving the feeling of her shattering around him. Their bodies were slick with perspiration and he held her trembling body against his as she tried to slow her breathing, with him still buried deep inside of her. She had her forehead pressed against his shoulder and she lifted her head so she could wrap her arms around his neck. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips, and he was surprised at the calm after the storm.

He cupped her face in his hands and looked back and forth between her eyes. "God Liv."

She smiled then, hearing everything he said in that simple statement. "I know." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her cheek against his. "I know."


	12. Chapter 12

Olivia buried her face into Elliot's chest, feeling warm and secure inside his arms. She wasn't normally much of a snuggler after sex. She preferred the men she slept with leave right after; staying implied a relationship that she didn't intend to have with most of them. The exceptions were few and far between.

But this…this was different.

She felt Elliot place a kiss on top of her head and she tucked her body closer to his, fitting her leg between his. His hand slid down her back until it rested on her ass, and he pulled her even closer, giving her ass a gentle squeeze.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to get my hands on this ass?" he murmured into her hair with a small laugh. He squeezed her gently again and then ran his hands up her back, making patterns against her smooth skin with his fingers. "So long…" he whispered into her hair.

Olivia laughed, thinking that he probably didn't realize he was talking out loud. She tilted her head back and looked up at him. "Oh yeah? How long?" she asked in a teasing tone.

He shook his head. He wasn't about to admit to anything. "That's for me to know."

"Then you shouldn't have brought it up." She said. She was curious, but she knew that was a two-way street, and she wasn't sure she was ready to confess how long she'd lusted after him either. So she decided to let it go.

"Hmm." He hummed, placing small kisses along her forehead.

Olivia let out a contented sigh.

"Think you can sleep now?" he asked quietly. He was absolutely worn out, and could think of nothing better than falling asleep wrapped around Olivia. He still couldn't believe she had walked into his room and dropped her robe like that. That vision would stay etched in his mind forever.

"Yeah." She said, letting out a small sigh. "But first I have to go to the bathroom."

Elliot groaned. "Don't leave me." He said, hugging her close. He was teasing her, but part of him didn't want her to leave. He felt like they were in some kind of perfect bubble…and he didn't want any of the outside world to come bursting in. He didn't want her to stand in that bathroom, questioning what they hell she had done.

"I'm just going to the bathroom Elliot." Olivia said in a sarcastic tone, and he laughed because she knew what he was thinking. "'I'm coming right back."

She placed a quick kiss on his lips and slid out of bed. Elliot rolled over on his side and watched her walk away towards the door. He let out a wolf whistle and she laughed as she bent down and picked up her robe, shaking her ass a little as she stood up. She looked back at him and smiled as she slid the robe on.

"Party pooper." He said and earned another laugh. Suddenly, she heard the sound of glass breaking and a loud grunt from Elliot. She heard the shots as they came through the window and she dove to the ground as Elliot rolled out of bed and yelled for her to get down. Gunshots continued to pepper the room as Olivia crawled over towards the spot Elliot landed. She saw blood gushing from a wound in his shoulder and she placed her hand against it, trying to put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. She got up on her hands and knees to try to increase the pressure but Elliot pulled her back down.

"Get down." He hissed.

Olivia heard the front door of the apartment burst open and she heard someone yelling their names. She looked up and saw Fin standing in the hallway along with several uniformed cops.

Then as suddenly as the shots started, they stopped. Olivia was lying on her stomach, her hand pressed against Elliot's wound, blood running down her hand and staining the white satin of her robe.

"Stay down." Fin yelled, looking at the two of them lying on the ground.

"Get her out of here." Elliot hissed.

"I'm not going anywhere." She said. She looked back at Fin. "We need a bus!"

"It's on its way."

"Get her out of here!" Elliot yelled. He didn't know what was going on with the shooters, but he wanted her out of harm's way. _Now._

"Olivia! Crawl over here." Fin demanded.

"No. I'm not leaving until the EMT's get here."

Elliot pulled her hand off him and looked over at Fin. "Take her!"

Fin dropped down and crawled over to where Olivia lay on the ground. He wrapped a hand around her arm and started tugging her to the door. She looked back at Elliot but she was no match for Fin. When they got to the hallway, Fin pulled her to her feet and she quickly wrapped her robe around her, suddenly aware of her nudity. And Elliot's.

"Are you hurt?" Fin asked her, placing his hands on her shoulder. She had blood all over her hands and her robe and he didn't know if it was all Elliot's or if any of it was hers.

"What?" she said, as she looked back over her shoulder at Elliot. She saw Elliot laying there watching her. She felt Fin shaking her and she turned back to him.

"I asked if you're shot. You hurt?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head, looking down at her arms. "No." She was slightly in shock from what had happened. One minute she'd been curled up beside Elliot and the next minute…pandemonium.

She looked back at Elliot. "Where are the EMT's?"

"They'll be here in a minute." Fin said. One of the other uniforms dropped to the ground and crawled over to where Elliot was lying and she saw him put pressure on the wound. She heard a loud groan from Elliot and she knew he was in pain.

"Get her out of here." She heard him yell again, and the next thing she knew Fin was tugging her down the hall, flanked by uniformed officers. When they reached the front door, Fin stepped out into the hall and then pulled her behind him. She saw the EMT's coming down the hall and let out a sigh of relief.

Cragen was behind the EMT's and he rushed up to where she was standing. "You OK?" he asked.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, but Elliot's been shot."

"What happened?" He looked up and down, taking in Olivia's appearance. Fin, to his credit, didn't say a thing about what he had seen, leaving it up to her to tell Cragen what had happened. "We were sleeping. I got up to go to the bathroom." She shook her head. "And then suddenly shots were pouring through the window. I dove for the ground."

She really didn't know much beyond that. She looked up at Cragen. "How did they find us?"

Before he could answer, another uniformed officer in SWAT gear approached, handing her a vest. "Put this on. The truck is in the underground garage."

Olivia took the vest. "Where are we going?"

"To FBI headquarters."

"I don't have any clothes." She said, motioning to her bloody robe.

"Olivia. We'll get you some. Get that vest on and get out of here." Cragen said. He watched as she complied and he looked over at Fin. "Go with her. Stay with her."

Fin nodded and grasped Olivia lightly by the arm. "Let's go." He led her gently down the hall.

Cragen watched them go. He walked into the apartment, wondering what the plan had been. Were they trying to take out Elliot so that they could storm in through the window and abduct Olivia? Or had they been trying to kill them both?

He saw the EMT's wheel Elliot down the hallway and he approached quickly. "How is he?"

"Bullet went through. He's lost some blood." The EMT said as he rushed by, not wanting to stop to give any more of an explanation.

"Where are you taking him?"

"Mercy."

Elliot opened his eyes and saw Cragen walking alongside the gurney. "Where's Liv?" he asked.

"Someplace safe." Cragen said. But the EMT's whisked him away before he could say anything else.

EOEOEOEOEO

Fin and three uniformed SWAT Team Members ushered Olivia out of the van in another underground parking garage and into the elevator. One of the officers hit the button for the fourth floor and the doors closed.

She could hear them talking around her, but she was focused on Elliot, wondering where he was and if he was going to be OK. When the elevator doors opened, Fin put a hand on her arm. "Liv." She looked over at him with a confused look on her face.

"Are you sure you're OK?" Fin asked, furrowing his brow and looking into her eyes.

Olivia nodded. "I'm fine."

Fin led her out of the elevator and they were in a large area of cubicles. A woman approached them and introduced herself as Agent Kimberly Metcalf.

"Let's get you into the locker room where you can take a shower." She said. "And we'll find you some clothes."

Olivia suddenly felt self-conscious of her nudity under her robe, and she was thankful for the bullet proof vest. She turned to Fin.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said. He could tell that she was shaken by what had happened, and he had no intension of leaving her.

Olivia nodded and she followed Agent Metcalf through a labyrinth of cubes before they reached the women's locker room. The agent showed her where the shower room was, and Olivia saw a pile of towels, soap and shampoo.

"Take your time." Agent Metcalf said. "I'll find some clothes for you."

Olivia gave her a small smile. "Thank you." She said quietly.

Agent Metcalf closed the door and Olivia locked it behind her. She walked over to the shower and turned on the water. She walked over to the counter and looked in the mirror. She saw blood on her face and she lifted a hand to wipe it off. She gasped when she saw the blood on her hand. She lifted her other hand and saw that both hands were covered in blood. Elliot's blood. She looked down at her robe, seeing traces of his blood everywhere. She stripped off the robe and let it drop to the floor. She ran the water in the sink and washed her hands and face, letting the water wash over her hands until it was clear.

She dried her face and hands with the towel and looked back in the mirror. She saw the marks Elliot had left on her neck and traced them with her fingers. She thought back to just a few hours ago and tears welled up in her eyes. How could things have gone so horribly wrong in such a short time?

She put a hand over her mouth, trying not to sob out loud. Elliot was hurt because of her. If he hadn't insisted on staying with her, he wouldn't have been shot.

She wouldn't make that mistake again.

She walked over to the shower and let the hot water pour over her, thinking about their time together. Reliving every moment. And then she took the soap and erased the evidence of their love making.

EOEOEOEOEO

Cragen caught the doctor in the emergency room and got a status update on Elliot.

"The bullet went through, missing all major arteries and muscles. He lost quite a bit of blood, but we've stitched him up and we've got him hooked up to an IV to replace fluids. He'll have to stay overnight but he should be released sometime tomorrow." The doctor looked at his watch and saw it was 4AM. "Or sometime later today I guess."

Cragen nodded and walked into the emergency room. He saw Elliot laying there, and he opened his eyes when the Captain walked in.

"Is Olivia OK?" He said, sitting up slightly, wincing with the pain. He lay back down immediately.

"She's fine." Cragen said, holding up his hand. "She's at the FBI headquarters and Fin is with her."

Elliot let out a sigh.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked.

"What did Olivia say?" Elliot asked.

"I'm asking you." Cragen said, his tone laced with annoyance.

"I don't know. Olivia was up. I think she was going to the bathroom, and then shots started raining through the window. I got hit almost immediately and I yelled for her to get down. Then I heard the front door come smashing in and people yelling and the shots stopped."

"So who was sleeping in that room?" Cragen asked. "I thought we agreed she wouldn't be sleeping in the room with the window."

Elliot shook his head. "I know. We did. She had been sleeping in the other room." Technically, he wasn't lying, and he didn't see how the details would affect the case. He didn't want to out them without talking to Olivia first. That is, unless Cragen started putting the pieces together. "Did you find the shooter?"

"We found the spot where he took the shots. CSU is there now, trying to find any evidence."

"How did they find us?" Elliot asked. "We've been so careful."

Cragen shook his head. "I don't know."

"So what are we going to do now?" Elliot asked. He knew Olivia had to be frustrated as hell. It was one thing to have to hide out for a week or so, but if these guys kept after her…well, that wasn't any kind of life.

"I'm just hoping that CSU finds something so we can track these guys down."

"I need to get to the FBI headquarters." Elliot said.

"You're not going anywhere." Cragen said. "She's in good hands. She'll stay there tonight. No way anyone's getting into that building."

Elliot blew out a frustrated sigh. He knew Cragen was right. No one could get her there. "Can I talk to her?"

Cragen looked at him, once again wondering about the relationship between the two detectives. "I'll try to get her on the phone."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was dressed in an ill-fitting pair of sweatpants, an FBI t-shirt and a sweatshirt. She was sitting on the edge of a bunk, trying to dry her hair with a towel. She heard a knock on the door and she automatically tensed.

"Liv. It's Fin." He yelled. "You decent?"

She had to smile. "Come in."

He opened the door and poked his head inside. "I got a call for you." He said, moving over to where she was sitting.

"A call for me?"

"It's Cragen." He handed her the phone.

"Hey Captain." Olivia said. "How's Elliot?" It was the first thing on her mind.

"I'm fine."

"Elliot." Olivia gasped.

"Are you OK?" he asked and he heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

"You're the one that got shot." She said.

"It's just a few stitches. They're letting me out of here later today."

"You could have been killed." She said, her voice barely a whisper.

"But I wasn't." he said.

"I almost got you killed." She repeated.

This is exactly why he wanted to talk to her. He knew she'd be beating herself up over this, when none of it was her fault. "We're not going to go through this again. This is not your fault. This is all Diaz."

"But…"

"Liv. Stop it." He looked up at Cragen, and knew he was listening to every word. He couldn't say what he wanted to say to her. "They were sloppy. CSU is going to get the evidence we need to track these guys down. You're going to be OK. This is going to end."

"I don't know."

Elliot could hear the defeat in her voice. "Liv. This is going to end." He lowered his voice. "Just please get some rest and I'll be there later today."

Olivia shook her head and she turned her back to Fin, trying to have some privacy on the phone. "El. I can't let you put your life in danger any more. I don't want you to come here."

"I swear to God Olivia. Don't start this shit again." He glanced up at Cragen. "I have to go now. I'll see you in a little while." He hung up the phone before she could respond.

She let out sound of exasperation when she realized that he had hung up on her. She turned back to Fin and handed him the phone. He was sitting on the bunk across from her.

"You know he's not going to stay away." He said.

Olivia didn't say anything. She rubbed her eyes with her hands. She was exhausted and everything was catching up with her. "I know." She huffed out.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Fin asked. She looked up at him, surprised that he was asking her outright. She knows he had to have seen that Elliot was naked, and that she was naked when he dragged her across the room with her robe open. It didn't take a detective to put two and two together.

She shook her head. "No."

Fin looked at her, and then he must have decided to drop it because he shrugged off his jacket. "Well, I'm not going to let you out of my sight. Let's get some sleep." He said.

"Fin. You don't have to sleep here." She said. He ignored her and laid down, turning his back to her.

"Night Liv."

She smiled despite her frustration and exhaustion. Fin was a good guy; one of the best.

She lay down in the bunk and pulled the blankets up around her, wondering how she'd been lucky enough to have these men in her life.


	13. Chapter 13

Olivia woke up and heard Fin snoring next to her. She smiled, filing away that information to use against him sometime. She didn't have her watch so she wasn't sure what time it was, but she knew she must not have been sleeping very long if Fin was still out. So she closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

She woke up two more times to the same sound, and she realized she must be sleeping for very short periods of time. She tossed and turned a little, trying to get comfortable. After a few minutes, she heard Fin stir.

"Something wrong?" he asked, not even turning around to face her.

"No."

"Then go to sleep." He said.

Olivia smiled again. She loved that he was always straight and to the point. She didn't say a word as she snuggled down into pillow and closed her eyes.

EOEOEO

She felt someone shaking her but it took her a moment to realize it wasn't part of a dream. She rolled over and opened her eyes, and saw Elliot leaning over her.

"Elliot?" she said, swiping a hand across her eyes. Maybe she was dreaming.

"Yeah." He said, squatting down next to the bunk.

Olivia sat up and brushed her hair back from her face. "What are you doing here?" She saw his left arm was in a sling and another wave of guilt washed over her. "I told you not to come here."

"Yeah, well, I don't listen to you all the time." He said, a smile on his face.

Olivia let out a sigh, but couldn't help but smile back at him, relieved to see him. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. "I'm glad you're here."

Elliot wrapped his right arm around her to keep her from knocking him back on his ass. "It's going to be OK." He whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

She pulled back and let him go and he pushed himself up. Her legs were still under the blankets and she moved them over so Elliot could sit down next to her. "I'm so sorry you got shot." She shook her head. "Your broken ribs are barely healed and then…"

"This could have been so much worse." He said. "It's just a few stitches."

Olivia shook her head, knowing he was downplaying his injury. She let it go, because she knew that he would never admit to being in pain.

Elliot ran his fingers up to her neck. "Looks like I should have been more careful."

Olivia gasped lightly and moved her hand up to where his fingers were tracing the marks he had left. Despite having seen them in the mirror, she had forgotten about them when she was talking to Fin. She knew the collar of her sweatshirt covered some of it, but Fin had to have seen them at the apartment.

Oh God. _And Cragen_.

"Fin asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell him…" she said. It made sense now. "I told him no."

"It doesn't matter Liv."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" she said.

"CSU processed the apartment." He said, raising an eyebrow at her. "They found your underwear on the floor. And mine."

Olivia buried her head in her hands. "Oh my God Elliot."

Elliot pulled her hands down from her face. "It's fine Liv."

Olivia gave him an incredulous look. "Are you out of your mind?"

Elliot stood up and took a few steps away from her. He scrubbed his right hand over his face and then turned back to her, frustration evident on his face. "What did you think was going to happen here?"

He saw the confusion on her face. "Did you think I just wanted to have sex with you and that would be it? Did you think we weren't going to have to tell Cragen about us?"

Olivia swung her legs out of bed. "No! Of course not." She stood up. "I didn't say that!"

He swiped his hand over his face, trying to calm down. He knew he was getting too worked up, but he was used to her usual denial bullshit denial.

"But we've only slept together once." She said. "I just wasn't expecting for all of this to all get out like this." The change in the relationship between her and Elliot was something she was barely processing herself.

"We only slept together once?" He said. Was she trying to tell him that she didn't think it would happen again? "What do you want to happen Olivia?" he asked.

"What?"

He took a few steps towards her. "What do you want to happen?" He moved his hand back and forth between them. "Between us?"

Olivia shook her head slightly and opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth and looked down at the ground.

"Jesus Christ Olivia." He ran his hand over his head, frustrated as hell. He took a few more steps and closed the gap between them. He wasn't going to let her get away with pushing him away.

"Look at me." He demanded and he was surprised when she complied. "Since you can't be honest with me, I'm going to tell you what _I_ want." She looked away from him, so he put his hand under her chin, forcing her to look back at him. "When I told you that I've thought about sleeping with you for years, that was the God's honest truth. So I'm not going to lie and tell you that what happened between us last night wasn't every fantasy I've ever had come true." Olivia pushed his hand from underneath her chin and turned her face away from him again. He let out a frustrated grunt and she turned back to him. His breathing was heavy as he tried to keep his calm. "But to me this was the start of something else for us." He paused a second, watching her expression for any indication of what she was thinking right now. But she had the perfect fucking poker face. "And I'm pretty sure you feel the same way."

She was processing everything he was saying to her. He hadn't even given her a chance to say anything and part of her was angry with him for assuming she would completely change their relationship for one night of sex.

"Is that what you think of me? That I would just have sex with you and change everything between us without thinking it through?" She hadn't been mad before but now she was getting there. She had to put some space between her and Elliot. She moved a few paces away and then spun around again. "I just didn't expect everyone to find out before we even had a chance to talk about it! And like this!" She put her hands on her hips. "Of course I feel the same way, you stupid son-of-a-bitch."

Elliot was shocked at her outburst…and by her admission. They were two people that sucked at sharing their feelings…at having any kind of deep conversation.

"Then what are we fighting about?" he asked…and then he laughed. He couldn't help himself…and he kept laughing, bending over and holding his injured arm as his laughter caused a jolt of pain.

He looked up at Olivia and saw the look on her face. "This is funny to you?" she asked, hardly able to believe he was standing there laughing in the middle of their argument.

He straightened up and closed the gap between them. He tangled his fingers in her hair and pressed his mouth to hers. Before she could even push him away, he released her. He looked down intently into her eyes. "I am a stupid son-of-a-bitch." He said. "But only because I didn't tell you exactly how I felt about you the minute my divorce was final." He raised his right hand and caressed her cheek. "I love you."

"Elliot." She whispered, hardly able to believe at how quickly the conversation had changed.

"It's OK Liv. You don't have to say it." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "I know you feel the same." He looked back down at her. "And I know this didn't happen how we planned it."

"Nothing about this was planned." She said, earning another laugh from Elliot.

"I guess we just don't know how to follow the rules." He said, taking a dig at both of them and their famous ability to break the rules.

"Are you kidding me? We followed the rules for a long time." She said, referring to how long they had kept the attraction for each other under wraps.

"And then we didn't." Elliot said, kissing her forehead again.

"I wasn't freaking out on you." She said. "I just wanted us to figure out how we wanted to tell Cragen and everyone else. I'm not really happy that they found us naked in the middle of a blitz attack."

"I'm not arguing with you, but I'm not sure that anyone is that surprised."

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked. "Because of all of the rumors over the years?"

"You know that no one believes those rumors." Elliot said.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I think lots of people believe those rumors. And now they just got confirmation of what they've been thinking happened all along."

"Cragen doesn't think that. He never would have let us stay together as partners if he thought we were sleeping together."

Olivia sighed. She knew Elliot was probably right. "So now what?"

He brushed her hair back from her face. "We have bigger issues right now. Cragen said CSU found some evidence. They're tracking down a van they saw on a surveillance camera. We need to find a new place to stay. We'll just see if Cragen brings it up…but for now I think his first concern is getting Diaz." He shifted and winced as he knocked his bad arm and Olivia pulled back.

He turned slightly and pointed to a duffle bag on the floor. "I brought your clothes." He turned back to her. "So why don't you get changed and then meet me out in the office."

Olivia nodded and Elliot started walking towards the door.

"Elliot." She said. He stopped and turned back towards her, a questioning look on his face.

"Yeah?"

Olivia walked over to where he was standing and pushed herself up on her tiptoes, resting her left hand on his right shoulder as she kissed him. "I love you." She whispered.

He gave her a big smile. "I know."

Olivia smiled. _Cocky SOB_.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia changed and did her hair and make-up, covering up her hickeys as well as she could. She walked out into the office area and saw Elliot standing with Fin and Cragen and some other men she didn't know across the room. She walked over to join them.

"How're you doing Detective?" Cragen asked.

"I'm fine." She said. "Want to bring me up to speed?"

They moved into a conference room and they spent the next hour talking through the evidence they had found and their progress on tracking down the van. The van had been found, dumped behind a warehouse, and now CSU was pouring over it.

"We're never going to find this guy if he doesn't want to be found." Olivia said, exasperation in her tone.

"You can't think like that." Cragen said.

"Why is he so intent on tracking me down? It's crazy. I didn't do anything to him."

"You're applying logic to a crazy sociopath. How knows why he does what he does?"

"When is this going to end?" Olivia stood up and started pacing across the room. "I can't stay in hiding forever. I have a job to do!" She turned and looked back at Cragen.

Cragen shook his head. He didn't have an answer for her.

"I'm done running." She said. "Just let me come back to work."

"No." Elliot said. "You're not going back to work."

"That's not your call." She shot back at him.

"It's not yours either." Said Cragen.

"Captain." Olivia said, turning her attention back to him.

"Give it a couple more days. I think we're closing in on him." Cragen said.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"I'm sorry Olivia, but you don't have an option. And you know if this was any other victim, you'd tell them the same thing."

Olivia glared back at the Captain. She didn't like being called a victim. She shook her head, her anger and frustration welling up. She stormed out of the conference room, knowing she wasn't going to win this argument. It wasn't only Cragen. Elliot and Fin would be on his side.

She hesitated outside the conference room and looked around, unsure of where to even go. She needed some fresh air. She walked over to the elevator bay and stabbed at the button. Another agent walked up and pushed the button for up. She noticed he had a pack of cigarettes in his hand.

"Is there a spot where I can get some fresh air?" she asked.

He smiled at her. "I'm not sure how fresh the air is, but there's a small garden up on the roof. We go there to smoke."

"Thanks. I'll take it. I just need to get out of this building for a few minutes."

When the doors opened, she got into the elevator with him and they headed to the roof. When the doors opened, she walked out and saw a smattering of benches and a few people out there smoking. There were a couple of tables and chairs set off from the benches, and she saw a man and a woman having a cup of coffee.

She walked over to the edge of walled off area and looked out over the city. She took in a deep breath, feeling refreshed by the cool, crisp air. She closed her eyes and felt the sun on her skin. This was all so overwhelming. The life she had made for herself was a thing of the past. She thought back over the past eight years. All of the cases they had worked…the quiet nights spent alone at her apartment…the dates and one night stands with a long string of men.

She thought about her night with Elliot and smiled. The thought of everything changing scared the hell out of her. She didn't want to lose her partner. But she knew in the grand scheme of things, having a life with Elliot was going to be worth it.

She thought about his kids. His wife. _Ex-wife_ she reminded herself. That stressed her out a little, but was nothing compared to her anxiety about the situation she found herself in now.

She grabbed the edge of the wall in front of her, frustrated about this whole mess with Diaz. She didn't want to run forever. What would they do if they didn't find him? She couldn't live like that.

She just had to have faith in her squad. In the NYPD.

She saw a lounge chair off in the corner, and she walked over and sat down. She leaned back and closed her eyes, letting the sun warm her skin. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm her frazzled nerves. Maybe she could convince the Captain to let her help out behind the scenes. She knew she couldn't sit around any longer.

EOEOEOEO

They finished up in the conference room after Cragen had handed out assignments. The FBI had another safe house relatively close to the 1-6, and Elliot went to find Olivia to tell her the plan. He looked around the office area and didn't see her among the agents and personnel at their desks. He walked over to the locker room and knocked on the door. He didn't get a reply and so he went in. She wasn't in any of the bunks, and he wondered if she was in the bathroom or the shower. He knocked on the door, but didn't get a response.

He pounded a little more loudly. "Liv" he yelled. He didn't get a response, so he opened the door and poked his head in. "Hello?" He walked in and saw the room was empty. He saw what he assumed were her things sitting on the counter. He turned and walked back into the bunk area and saw her duffle bag on the floor.

He rushed out of the locker room and back into the office area. He grabbed the arm of a man walking by. "Hey, did you see Detective Benson?"

He guy gave him a strange look. "Who?"

"Never mind." Elliot hustled back over to the conference room. He burst in the door. "Did Liv come back in here?" he asked.

Cragen stood up. "No. Why?"

"I can't find her." He said.

Cragen could hear the panic in his voice. "Calm down." He said, holding up his hands. "Where did you look?"

Elliot told him where he had searched.

"OK. Everyone spread out. She couldn't have gone far." Cragen said.

"What if they took her?" Elliot said.

"There is no way someone's getting abducted from this building." Agent Metcalf said.

"You don't know Diaz." Elliot snapped.

"Let's not go there just yet." Said Cragen. "She was pretty frustrated. She's probably cooling her heels somewhere."

"Liv knows better than to wander off. She's not stupid." Elliot shot back.

"I know that. But I'm not going to hit the panic button until we know for sure."

"So he could just have her and you're going to waste time searching a 40 story building?" Elliot said.

"I think maybe you're a little too close to this." Cragen said, challenging him. Elliot didn't say anything. "As you said, Olivia's not stupid. She's not going to be put herself at risk. She's here. We'll find her."

Elliot stared at him for a second, and then stormed out of the conference room. He knew Cragen was probably right, but he also knew that Olivia was frustrated with this entire situation. He hoped to God she hadn't done anything stupid.


	14. Chapter 14

The sun felt warm on her skin and Olivia felt herself start to relax. She knew she couldn't fight Cragen, Elliot and Fin. And she was sure Munch was going to take their side as well. She would go to the new safe house and let them do their job, and see what she could do to help out behind the scenes. And when this was all over, she and Elliot would figure out what was next for them.

In the meantime, she would be happy to just explore that sexy man's body. She closed her eyes and started to replay the events of that night. The feel of Elliot's lips against hers…his hot mouth on her breasts…the hard length of him as he slid inside of her.

She heard herself let out a small moan and she felt a small stirring low in her belly.

She knew it was horrible to think about those things with the predicament she was in, so she tried to erase it from her thoughts.

But the things that man could do to her... She couldn't wait to be alone with him again.

She felt herself starting to nod off, but she knew she had to get back downstairs before anyone missed her. She was sure their little meeting would be breaking up soon.

Maybe just another minute. She had been cooped up in that apartment and the sun felt so good.

Suddenly she heard a commotion and someone yelling her name, and she bolted into an upright position on the lounge chair and saw a very upset Fin storming towards her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked, marching right up to the lounge chair and placing his hand on her bicep, practically pulling her out of the chair.

Olivia was dumbfounded because 1) she had never seen Fin this rattled and 2) Fin had never been physical with her. Before she could even say a word, he did pull her up out of the chair and started ranting again.

"You're sunbathing?" he asked, tugging her towards the door. "We're running around looking for you and you're outside soaking up some rays?"

Olivia almost stumbled as Fin continued to pull her along and she looked up at him and saw him scanning the surrounding buildings.

"You trying to give them an easy target?" He pulled her through the door and she reached for his hand, trying to pry his fingers from her arm.

"Fin stop!" she finally got out and he did, turning to look at her as he dropped his hand from her arm. He put his hands on his hips and glared at her, as if daring her to come up with a reasonable explanation. "I just needed to get some fresh air." She said. "I…"

She heard his radio crackle and she heard Elliot on the other end telling them she wasn't in the parking garage. Fin continued to glare at her as he pulled the radio from his belt and pushed the button to speak. "Fin here. I got her. She's fine." He released the button and heard Cragen reply.

"Bring her back to the conference room stat."

"I was only gone for a few minutes…" she started. She was a trained police officer, the same as all of them. She managed to take care of herself for years…thank you very much…and she was just so tired of all of this. And now Fin was berating her like a small child? No. Hell no.

"Are you kidding me with this shit?" Fin asked, making it more of a statement than a question. "C'mon Liv. You're helluva lot smarter than that." He shook his head. "A man's trying to kill you and we're all trying to nail his ass, and you run out and pull this shit?"

"I wasn't…" She shook her head, her anger suddenly gone. "I just needed a minute." She leaned back against the wall, realizing the enormity of her mistake. She really hadn't been thinking about anything except her need to escape all of the macho, overprotective bullshit. But she realized now that these people were laying their lives on the line for her. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I was only going to be gone a minute."

Fin's expression softened then, because he knew how hard this was for her. She was an independent person, stubborn as hell, and he knew she didn't like being cooped up or having everyone watching her every move. He put a hand on her shoulder. "I know this is driving you crazy. I didn't mean to be so hard on you."

Olivia shook her head again. "No. I'm sorry." She hung her head down. The weight of this entire situation was wearing her down. "What happens if we don't get this guy Fin?" she whispered. "I can't live my life like this."

Fin ducked down to catch her eye and she lifted her head to look at him. "We're going to get him Liv."

"I can't keep asking everyone to do this. To put themselves at risk for me." She said.

"Hey, I don't recall you askin'." Said Fin, giving her a small smile. "It's just what we do."

"Thank you." She said quietly. "I don't know how I'll ever repay you…and everyone."

"Baby girl…you pay us back every damned day. And you'd be the first one in line if any one of us was in trouble, so don't even go there." He lifted his hand from her shoulder and tugged at her arm lightly. "Now I better get you back downstairs before Stabler goes all Incredible Hulk and tears apart the damn building." He said and they walked to the elevators.

Fin was quiet for a second while they waited, standing shoulder to shoulder. "So…you and Stabler huh?"

Olivia was surprised he brought it up and she gave him a sideways glance. She decided the least she owed him was a little honesty.

"Yeah." She said quietly.

Fin let out a grunt and she wasn't quite sure what that meant. "Is that going to be a problem?" she asked, honestly wanting to hear what he thought.

He looked over at her. "Ain't no problem for me. Saw that comin' for a long time." The elevator doors opened and they stepped in. "But it's sure as hell going to be a problem for him if he fucks things up."

They turned to face the elevator doors as they closed and Olivia smiled. "I'll be sure to tell him that." She loved how Fin always treated her like she was his little sister. It was a sweet side of him that not many people saw.

"No need." He said. "That's a message I'm going to deliver myself."

EOEOEOEO

Olivia had seen how upset Fin was about her little disappearing act, but she completely underestimated the fury of Elliot and Captain Cragen. The minute she stepped off the elevator, she was bombarded by both of them, and while her initial thought had been that everyone was overreacting, she understood that it came from fear. She knew she had handled it poorly, despite her need for some space. If someone she knew had a deranged sociopath after them and they simply disappeared, she would be livid.

So she stood while Cragen and Elliot ranted and asked questions…until they had gotten it out of their system and they realized she wasn't answering. She could see the fury in Elliot's stature, and the deep-seated fear in Cragen's eyes.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Elliot snapped.

"I'm sorry." She said. "I just needed some space. I was feeling overwhelmed and I just wasn't thinking. I never intended to be gone more than a few minutes. I thought I'd be back before anyone missed me." She didn't know why she was bothering with any kind of explanation except that she needed them to understand how she was feeling and to know that she really was sorry. "I was just feeling…smothered."

She saw the Captain take a deep breath and then let it out slowly. Frankly, she was surprised he was so upset. He was usually so unflappable.

She looked over at Elliot and saw him struggling to keep control. That didn't surprise her at all.

Cragen took a step towards her. "OK Olivia. I get it. You're not used to this. But you can't go off half-cocked and disappear like that."

"I know."

"Well apparently, you don't." he snapped.

His words stung but Olivia knew she deserved it. Cragen turned towards the people that were assembled in the general area. "OK. Crisis diverted. Let's focus our attention back on the move to the new location."

He turned back to Olivia. "Get your stuff together. We're leaving in 15 minutes." He said and then walked back towards the conference room.

Everyone else started to disperse and Munch walked up to her. He dipped down slightly and looked in her eyes. "You OK?" he asked.

Olivia nodded.

"I know this is hard. Everyone watching every little thing you do. No privacy. But you know we just don't want anything to happen to you." He said.

She gave him a small smile. "I know. I just want this to be over."

Munch nodded. "Me too." He turned and followed Fin back towards where Cragen was standing in the office area, leaving her there with Elliot.

He scrubbed his good hand over his head and she saw him grimace. She knew he'd probably been running all over that building looking for her when he should be home in bed recovering from his gunshot would, and she felt a fresh stab of guilt. She could tell he was trying hard to keep his cool; he very obviously didn't want to get into here out in the open.

"I have to get packed." She said, turning towards the locker room. She expected to hear Elliot's footsteps fall in line behind her, but was surprised when she walked into the locker room by herself. She moved quickly, grabbing her things from the bathroom and tucking them into her duffle bag. She folded up the FBI t-shirt, sweatshirt and sweatpants and set them on the end of the bed she had used. She took a look around to see if she had left anything else when she heard the door open. She turned and saw Elliot come into the room.

She bit her bottom lip, knowing she was in for another lecture. And while part of it pissed her off, she knew it was inevitable…and that she probably deserved it for making him worry. He stood in the doorway and looked at her for a minute and she could see warring emotions in his face. He scrubbed his hand over his mouth and chin again and she saw his eyes look back and forth between hers.

The next thing she knew, he was moving towards her and she mentally braced herself for a tirade. Instead, she found herself pressed against his chest, his good arm wrapped around her and his face buried in her hair. "I was so worried about you. I know you weren't gone for very long but my mind went to the worst place." He placed a kiss in her hair. "Don't _ever_ do that again."

Olivia slid an arm around him and buried her face in his chest. "I'm sorry." She was so used to just relying in herself…to not having to answer to anyone else…this was all new to her. "I'm still getting used to this."

"Liv, I've always worried about you. As my partner, it's my job to have your back. But now, I've realized how much I took you for granted." He said. "I'm not going to do that anymore." He placed another kiss on top of her head and then she pulled away.

She shook her head. This was all getting so serious and she wasn't used to talking to him like this. "I don't even know who you are any more." She teased. "First you apologize to me and now you come in here, and instead of yelling at me, you whisper all of these sweet things to me."

"Yeah, well. I guess love makes you stupid." He said.

"I just wanted some fresh air." She said, trying to let him know that she hadn't meant to worry anyone, including him.

"I know." Elliot said. "And I know we all probably overreacted considering you're in a Federal building. But we're all overtired and a little stressed out after the shooting. He got to you before…"

"He got to us." She said, nodding at his wounded shoulder. "I feel like I'm putting all of you in danger.'

"Liv. What do you think we're going to do? Tell you you're on your own?" he shook his head. "C'mon."

"I know. I already got the lecture from Fin."

"Speaking of Fin, you're lucky he found you instead of me." He said. "I wouldn't have been as calm as I am now."

"I've never had Fin yell at me before." Olivia admitted. "He was really upset."

"Fin yelled at you?" he asked. He was kind of surprised because while Fin got mad and disgusted by the things he saw every day; he didn't really show all that much emotion. And he would never expect him to actually yell at Olivia. "I find that hard to believe."

Olivia nodded. "He did. He grabbed me out of the chair and dragged me across the roof, yelling at me. But he calmed down pretty quickly."

"Good."

"Good for me, but bad for you." Olivia said, picking up her duffle bag.

"Why bad for me?" he asked, trying to grab her duffle from her.

She pulled it away. "I can carry my own bag." She took a few steps forward and Elliot followed her.

"Why bad for me?" Elliot repeated.

"Because he knows about us and he wants to talk to you." She said.

Elliot raised an eyebrow as they walked out. "He knows?"

Olivia nodded.

"And he wants to talk to me? Am I in trouble?" he said, teasing her.

"Yes, I think you are." She said.

They were almost to the conference room when Cragen came barging out of the conference room. He almost knocked Olivia over and she stepped to the side quickly. He was talking into his cell phone and she saw Munch and Fin come roaring out of the room behind him.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"We got a line on the van." Said Fin. "And maybe Diaz."

Cragen stopped in his tracks and turned back towards her. "You." He pointed at her. "Stay here. Do not leave this floor." Elliot started to follow Fin and Munch. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"I'm going with you." Elliot said.

"Not with that gunshot wound you're not." Cragen said. There was no way he was letting Elliot go along, even if he promised to stay in the car. "You need to stay here, with Olivia."

"I can't just sit here."

Olivia put a hand on his arm. "You're in no shape to go anywhere. You should be resting." She could hardly believe the man had just been released from the hospital earlier that day. She had no idea how he was still standing upright.

"Fine." He said angrily. He stormed off towards the locker rooms and Olivia let him go. She watched as Cragen, Fin and Munch grabbed their gear, followed by Agent Metcalf and a few other FBI agents. She wished them good luck in her head…and hoped that this was the end of this nightmare.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia had left Elliot alone. She figured if he wanted to talk to her, he would find her. She was bored out of her mind and she went into the conference room to see if there were any notes or files left behind. There were not. She guessed things were pretty buttoned up at the FBI. She sat down in one of the chairs and swiveled back and forth, trying to decide what to do with her time.

"Hey." She heard someone say. She swiveled in her chair towards the door and saw Dean Porter standing there. She didn't know why she was so surprised. It had never even occurred to her that he, or Dana, might be in this office.

"Hey." She said.

"Looks like trouble follows you wherever you go." He said.

She shook her head, but she couldn't help smiling. "Not everywhere I go." She said as she watched him walk into the room.

"You're sporting some new bruises since the last time I saw you." He said, sitting down on the edge of the table a few feet away from her.

Olivia put a hand to her cheek. She had almost forgotten the bruises made by Diaz and his men. They were mostly faded by now. "Yeah, well. I had a run in with some people." She said, not wanting to get into it with him.

"I heard." So obviously the rumor milled worked much like it did at the NYPD. Hell, he probably knew more than she did.

"So. Is it good to be back?" he asked.

"Yes." She said, without hesitation.

"That partner of yours. Is he glad you're back?" He said with a mischievous grin on his face, and Olivia remembered the conversation they'd had in Oregon. That seemed like so long ago.

"Yes. I think so." She answered. If he only knew.

He paused for a second and she saw his eyes look over her casually. She shifted in her chair.

"You changed your hair." He said.

She nodded, not quite sure how to respond to that. She couldn't argue with him, but she wasn't sure she wanted him commenting on her personal appearance. They had this awkwardness between them that had existed even in Oregon. She had often wondered if he would have asked her out if he hadn't been her case manager.

"I liked it better before." He said, giving her a big grin.

She smiled at his honesty. _Asshole_. "I'll make sure to get your approval next time." She said, laughing.

Olivia caught movement in her peripheral vision and turned to see Elliot standing in the doorway, leaning his good hand against the frame.

"Making new friends?" he said.

She wondered how long he had been standing there. She looked back to the glass wall of the conference room and realized he would have seen them before he heard them.

He didn't look happy. He'd never liked any man who had ever showed any interest in her before. And now…

Well, _shit._


	15. Chapter 15

Elliot walked out of the locker room after he'd had a chance to cool off. He was frustrated at not being involved in the potential capture of Diaz. _That murdering, raping sociopath_. But he knew he needed to rein in his anger and frustration for Olivia's sake and the sake of their relationship. He had brought too much anger home with him over the years and it had been a contributing factor to the decay of his marriage, along with his lack of communication. And even though he knew those weren't the only issues, he was damned sure he wasn't going to make the same mistakes with Olivia.

Why she had put up with him all these years…he hadn't a clue.

He knew she was way outside of her comfort zone as well. He thought about the other night…about her coming to his room and offering herself to him. That was the ultimate indication of the trust she had in him. And 180 degrees from the woman that ran to Oregon.

If she was trying to change, he could damn well do the same. He knew it was going to mean a lot of work for the both of them. And that they wouldn't be successful all of the time. Hell, probably most of the time.

They were a work in progress.

But he was going to do his best because the rewards were worth it. He thought back to the night in his bed…her long legs wrapped around him and the look on her face as she came. So worth it.

He let out a long, slow sigh, and got up from the bunk. He was going to find her and see how she was doing. He knew she was at the end of her rope; tired of being in hiding. She was itching to get back to work. And he knew Cragen also wanted them both to spend some time with Huang. They hadn't wanted too many people coming in and out of the apartment, so that happened yet.

He wondered how many hours they would be required to have before they were allowed to go back to work. Certainly Olivia would be required to have more counseling than him. He suddenly wondered if she was having flashbacks or trauma from what had happened in the warehouse and with Diaz. He hadn't really asked her after that first day. He figured she wouldn't tell him…but maybe she would. And he should be asking her over and over again until she confided in him. No more pushing each other away.

Yeah, this was going to be work on both of their parts. A lot of work.

He walked out of the locker room and headed through the maze of cubes. He stopped short when he came around the corner and could see through the glass wall of the conference room. He saw Olivia sitting with her back to him, and a strange man leaning against the table talking to her. He felt a small stab of panic pass through him as his first thought was that maybe it was one of Diaz's men…and he had left her alone. But he rejected that quickly. He was way too casual for that. Then he saw the man lean forward and say something to her, and laugh. And he saw Olivia swivel slightly and smile back at him.

And then his panic turned to something else. Something he didn't want to name…because he didn't want to be that person. He was going to keep his cool; _he was turning over a new leaf_.

He took a few more steps towards the conference room, determined to keep it casual. But then he heard her laugh again…one of those unrestricted laughs he didn't get very often any more…and his jealousy flared.

What the hell was she doing? Who was this asshole? He watched as they continued talking, and there was no mistaking they know each other…or that the man was interested in her.

He didn't know if it was the fact that he'd been tamping down his anger and frustration all damn day…or the fact that his arm was killing him…or the fact that everyone was out looking for the man that was after her and she was here _flirting_ with this guy...but his resolve to turn over a new leaf resolved in an instant.

His jealousy boiled to the surface. He was trying to push it back down. Trying to talk himself down.

 _You don't even know who this asshole is. You don't know what they're talking about. Calm down_.

He walked over to the doorway, surprised that neither one of them saw him as he walked by the glass wall. They were obviously engrossed in whatever they were talking about.

Olivia looked up at him as he leaned against the doorway. He wasn't 100% sure, but he could swear she had a guilty look on her face.

"Making new friends?" he asked snidely and he knew Olivia caught the tone of his voice.

She saw his posture, and could see he was using his stature to try to be intimidating. _God, she did not need this shit from him now._

She saw Dean look back and forth between the two of them, that mischievous look still on his face. He stood up and walked over towards Elliot, holding out his hand. "Dean Porter." He said. Elliot considered him for a second and then dropped his hand from the doorframe and shook Dean's.

"Elliot Stabler."

They both took a few steps back inside the conference room and she saw both of them seeming to size each other up. She wanted to roll her eyes. _Men._

Olivia stood up. "Dean was my case agent while I was in Oregon." She said, looking at Elliot. "And Dean, Elliot is my partner."

Neither one of them seemed to be paying any attention to her as she spoke and she shook her head.

"So you're this partner I kept hearing about." Porter said, keeping his attention focused on Elliot.

"Funny, I never heard a word about you." Elliot said, shooting a look over at Olivia and then turning his attention back to Porter.

Porter laughed. He assumed that was some kind of barb meant to make him feel bad, but it didn't. "Really? She didn't tell you about all of her escapades in Oregon and how I had to keep getting her out of trouble?" He looked over at Olivia. "I guess that shouldn't be a surprise." He looked back at Elliot. "She's a handful." He laughed again and took a few steps away from Elliot.

He turned back towards Olivia. "So, you want to get something to eat?" he asked. He glanced over at Elliot. "I mean; you can come too."

"Thanks anyway." Elliot said. "But we were just going to have something brought in. We have some stuff we need to take care of."

"Well, we can all eat together and then you guys can do your work." He smiled at Olivia. "I'd like to catch up."

Elliot walked over and stood next to Olivia. "Now's not a good time." He knew it was an overly possessive move, and she was probably pissed as hell, but he couldn't help himself.

Olivia held her tongue, despite the fact that she could damn well make a decision about eating with Dean by herself. But she knew after everything that had happened today, now was not the time to push it. She could tell he was on the edge and she didn't need things to get heated.

Dean nodded, sensing the tension between them. He looked over at Olivia. "Yeah, I know now's not the best time." He smiled at her. "But I would still love to catch up when all of this is over. I'm going to be in NY for the next couple weeks. You've got my number, right?"

Olivia nodded, wincing internally because she knew he had thrown that little fact in there as a poke at Elliot. "Yes, I still have your number." She said. "I'll be in touch." She smiled.

Dean nodded. "OK. Take care of yourself." He looked over at Elliot. "Good to meet you."

Elliot nodded in recognition of the statement, but he didn't say anything.

Dean gave Olivia one last smile and headed towards the door. When he reached the doorway, he turned back towards them. "Just remember what I said about the hair." He said, giving her a small wink and then he was gone.

Elliot followed the path Porter had taken, and tried to shut the door, but Olivia was right behind him and she pushed past him and walked right out of the conference room. She didn't have an intention of getting stuck in that room with him and listen to whatever ridiculous rant he was sure to start. She paused in the middle of the cubes, not really sure of where she was going. Just away from Elliot. The place was really emptied out and she realized it was pretty late in the day. And that there really was nowhere to go, so she decided to change tactics and ignore what had happened in the last ten minutes.

She turned when she heard Elliot behind her. "So are we going to get something to eat?" she asked.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" he asked, using his thumb to point over his shoulder in Porter's direction.

She should have known her attempt at changing the topic wasn't going to work.

"We didn't talk about anything that happened when I was in Oregon." She said. She hadn't told him when she was back in town and had held off coming back to SVU for several weeks. The silence between them had been deafening. He was mad that she had left and she was mad that he had seemed to do just fine without her. It had taken several months for them to get back to any semblance of normal. Thinking about it now…she knew that they both knew why she had left, and that's why they never talked about it. They were still in denial. Thank God they were beyond that now.

"Well, we have some time now." He said, leaning up against one of the empty desks.

Olivia reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. "You want to talk about that now?"

"Sure, why not?" he said. "Or is there something you don't want to tell me?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes at Elliot. Did he honestly think she didn't know where this conversation was going? She decided she wasn't going to make it easy for him. "Why are you suddenly so interested? You never wanted to talk about it before." She turned and walked back towards the locker room. She let out a small groan when he followed her; even though she knew he would.

She pushed open the door forcefully, and it nearly banged against the wall as she went through. She heard the door close and she turned around. She really had nowhere to go. She saw him leaning up against the door.

"What do you want to know?" she said, a challenge in her voice.

Elliot seemed to consider her question for a minute. "What do you want to tell me?" he asked.

Olivia let out a sound of frustration, but if that's how he wanted to play it, then she'd play along. "I was with the tree huggers. I slept in a tent. I had to give up coffee. And pretty much every other comfort. I got messed up with a case. I got harassed and arrested by the local police until I helped them solve it. I found the victim. I came home." She put her hands on her hips. "Is that enough information for you?"

Elliot was somewhat dumbfounded, because he hadn't heard any of that before. And while he really wanted to hear about it, his main concern was that asshole Porter. "So was Porter with you the whole time?"

And there it was.

"Of course not. He was my case agent."

"It seems like he spent a lot of time with you." Elliot said.

"He had to rescue me a few times." She said. "Since I was undercover, I couldn't use my normal resources." She continued. "I got hurt at a rally and woke up in the hospital in handcuffs."

"You were in the hospital?"

"It was nothing. And you're missing the point." She said. "The locals didn't like me poking around on this case and I was still undercover, so they were on my ass all the time."

"And he came in and saved the day." He said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.

"Listen, I really don't want to get into all of this right now, so why don't you get to the point." She said.

"What's the point?" he asked.

She took a few steps towards him. "Just ask me."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said and Olivia shook her head in disbelief.

"Bullshit." She said, getting angry herself. "You want to know if I slept with Porter."

"Well did you?"

"That's none of your goddamned business." She said.

"So you did." He said, his voice escalating.

"I said it's none of your business."

"I think I have a right to know now that we're…involved."

Olivia furrowed her brows together. "What?"

"We're together now and I have the right to know."

She wasn't going to argue about them being together now, because she knew that was the inevitable conclusion and one that she wanted. But this idea that he now had some right to know every intimate detail of her life irritated her.

"You want to know if I slept with Porter? Or are you asking me for a detailed list of my sexual history?" she said it with venom in her voice, her irritation growing. Because this was just so typical Elliot. She dug the knife in deeper. "Do you want the list of men I actually had relationships with? Or should I include the one night stands?"

She knew she was overreacting…and that her words were probably hurtful. The accumulation of everything that had happened was weighing down on her and she was on emotional overload. She was just so DONE with this jealousy act. She had slept with him…made it clear she wanted to be with him. What didn't he understand?

Before Elliot could answer, she closed the gap between them. "Let's get something straight here. You don't _own_ me Elliot Stabler. I don't owe you _shit_." She put her hands on her hips again, trying to control her anger. "You've always had an issue with any man that's shown any interest in me…the first few years, when I slept with Cassidy and I dated a lot, it was fine." She saw him flinch when she mentioned Cassidy. "But it got to the point where you became an asshole when any man even looked my way. Why do you think I stopped telling you about the men in my life? Did you think I'd just stopped dating?" She was good and riled up now…she was on a roll. "Did you think I was just going home by myself every night while you went home and slept with your wife? That I wasn't have sex all of these years?" She shook her head. "Grow up Elliot."

Elliot just stared at her. He had expected her to get pissed at him, but he hadn't expected this. Her words ran through his mind…and he tried to process it. Of course he knew she must have dated. He just hadn't wanted to think about it and what that implied. He didn't want to think of her in bed with any other men. The images that assaulted him now were almost unbearable and he tried to get them out of his mind.

Olivia was a beautiful woman. Of course men would lust after her. But her words stung and it made him wonder just how many men she had slept with. It shouldn't matter. It _didn't_ matter. As long as he was the last one.

Olivia dropped her arms, her anger dissipating slightly now that she had gotten it out of her system. "Do you have any other questions for me? Or can we stop this now?"

She saw Elliot sag against the door as he dropped his head back and for a second, she worried that he was seconds from blacking out.

She took a step towards him, her anger replaced by concern. "El?"

"I'm a jealous asshole." He rasped.

She wanted to agree with the man, but the way he sagged against the door now…he just looked exhausted. As if this argument had taken the last of his reserves…draining him.

"Come lay down." She said. The poor man had been shot and chasing around all day and now she'd been yelling at him like a lunatic. _He started it._

She put a hand on his good arm. "Please come lay down."

Elliot didn't provide much resistance as she led him over to one of the bunks and helped him lay down. She saw him wince with pain as his left arm got jostled slightly and he closed his eyes. As soon as he was lying down, she leaned over him, one arm resting on the bed next to his good shoulder.

"El?" she whispered, wondering if he had passed out. _Goddamnit_. Had he even been taking his pain meds?

He opened his eyes and looked at her, her hair falling loosely around her face and concern in her eyes. He reached up and trailed his fingers along her jaw. "I'm an asshole."

"Sometimes."

"I just don't like to think about you with other men."

"Well, I'm not going to pretend that there wasn't. So you're going to have to deal with it. And without the details."

His hand dropped to the bed. "But every guy I see, I'm going to wonder if you slept with him." He complained.

"You already do." She said, breaking a small smile for the first time.

"Liv…" he said. But he realized that he really didn't want to know. That would almost be worse.

Olivia leaned over a little more. "Listen to me because I'm only going to say this once. It doesn't matter what's happened before. For me or for you. Because I don't intend on every sleeping with anyone besides you…ever again." She gave him a chaste kiss and straightened up.

Elliot reached up and grabbed her arm, pulling her down for another kiss. He didn't know he she did it, but she had read his mind once again.

"I just need a few minutes of sleep." He said, still holding her close to him so their lips were just inches apart. "Lay with me."

Olivia smiled. "I don't think that's a good idea." She gave him another kiss, and this time, Elliot tangled is fingers in her hair and kissed her slowly…sucking her bottom lip between his and teasing her with his tongue.

He released her and smiled. "Are you sure about that?"

She gave him a smile. "I'm sure." She straightened up. "I need you to rest. Because if I'm going to cut off all these other men…you're going to need your strength." She teased. She headed for the door.

"When I get better, you're in for it Benson." He said.

She looked back at him and gave him her most sultry smile. "I'm counting on it."

He smiled while he closed his eyes, and she was pretty sure he would be asleep before the door closed behind her.

When she got out of the locker room, she stopped and looked around. She wished she had her cell phone so she could reach out to Fin or Munch and find out what the hell was going on. Sitting around and waiting was not her style. She wanted to know what was going on and if they were close to capturing Diaz. She was running out of patience with being on lockdown and out of the loop.

And she was hungry and thirsty. She realized she hadn't had anything to eat all day. They were supposed to bring up food but she guessed that plan got blown to hell when they got called out. She checked her pockets and found two dollars. She looked around, trying to remember where the vending machines were.

She saw a small alcove over by the conference room and headed in that direction. When she got there she got a bottle of water out of one machine, twisted open the cap and took a long drink. She stood in front of the other machine, leaning against it with arm, and looked at her options. She only had sixty- five cents, and realized she couldn't get anything in the machine. She kicked the machine in frustration.

"Hey. Need some help?"

She turned around to see Porter standing there. "No." She walked out of the alcove and started walking back towards the conference room. Porter fell into line next to her.

"Want to go get something to eat?" he asked as he walked alongside of her.

Olivia hesitated. She was hungry, and she knew Elliot would be hungry when he woke up too. "I can't leave." She said. "What did you have in mind?"

"There's a cafeteria two floors down."

Olivia knew that Cragen had told her to stay put but surely he just meant for her to stay in the building. She could leave a note for Elliot and tell him where she went. "OK."

She crept into the locker room and saw Elliot was still sound asleep, so she left a note and headed down to the café with Porter.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia felt better after she ate something and while she thought the conversation might be awkward, it really wasn't. Porter filled her in a little more on Diaz. It turns out he had been down in Laredo for the past few months, working on trying to shut down the pipeline coming in from Mexico.

"I was surprised when I came back to New York and heard your name associated with the case." He said, smiling at her as he leaned back in his chair. "I guess I shouldn't have been." He shook his head. "Of all of the police officers in the NYPD, leave it up to you to get in the middle of this." He said.

"Yeah, well it's my job to get men like him off the street."

Porter looked thoughtful for a minute. "I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you."

Olivia looked down at the uneaten food on her plate. "Nothing happened to me."

"You were held captive." Porter said.

Olivia looked up at him, trying to determine if he knew more about what had happened. The assault in the warehouse…the close call with Diaz…being bound to the bed. Just thinking about it sent a shiver through her.

"You OK?" he asked.

"I'm fine." She said. "Just tired and frustrated. I need to know what's going on and I need this to be over."

"You've never been very patient." Porter joked.

Before Olivia could answer, Porter's cell phone rang. He answered it and she could hear a voice on the other end, but couldn't tell what they were saying. He nodded as he answered; obviously someone was giving him some instructions on the other end. After a few minutes, he hung up the phone.

Olivia looked up from her lunch, a question on her face.

"That was Agent Metcalf." He said. "They tracked the van to an old house in Washington Heights. Found two men…both dead."

"And Diaz?" Olivia asked.

"No sign of him."

Olivia leaned back in her chair, trying not to let her frustration show. "Maybe he's gone." She said hopefully.

"Your Captain said they're on their way back and then we're going to move you to the safe house."

"We? You're on this case now?"

"I've always been on the case." He said. "I just haven't been working it from this end recently."

Olivia let out a sigh. _Great._ Elliot was going to love that.

She looked at her watch and saw they had been gone for almost an hour. "We'd better get going" she said. "I'm going to grab something to take back up for Elliot."

She took one last drink of her tea and was about to get up from the table when she saw Elliot walk into the café. She groaned inwardly as she saw him look around the café. He spotted her and then she saw his eyes shift to Porter, who had his back to the door.

She watched as Elliot walked over towards them, and he didn't do much to hide his displeasure at finding them here together.

"Hey Elliot." She said and she saw Porter turn.

"So glad you two had time to catch up." He said, sarcasm in his tone. His focus was on Porter, as if challenging him and his right to be there having dinner with her.

Olivia was disappointed to see that their "talk" and his nap hadn't done much to tamp down his jealousy. Maybe she should have told him that she hadn't slept with Porter.

Elliot flicked his eyes back to Olivia. "We have to move. Cragen's on his way back."

"I heard." Olivia said, standing up. "Let's get something for you to eat."

"No, we're going." He said. He put his hand on her bicep and started moving back towards the door. "They'll be here any minute."

"I'm coming too." Porter said, standing up and following them up.

Elliot stopped and looked back at Porter and then to Olivia. "He's on the case too." She said.

Elliot was surprised by her words. He didn't want this guy following them around…especially if he had been involved with Olivia.

"El." He turned and saw Olivia looking at him, pleading with her eyes. He thought about what she had said in the locker room, but he couldn't seem to stop himself from being jealous. But he wasn't going to say anything. It would be another conversation later.

"Let's go." He said. It was about the best he could do.

 _Thanks to everyone's that reading this story. Please leave a review!_


	16. Chapter 16

They walked out of the cafeteria, falling into their natural rhythm as they strode down the towards the elevators.

"What's Cragens's ETA?" Olivia asked.

"Sixty minutes." He looked down at this watch. "Fifteen minutes ago."

"Did he give you any information about what happened?"

"No."

Olivia let out a little huff. "Are you just going to keep acting like this?"

"Yes."

She shook her head. They needed to talk. Sooner rather than later. They walked by a small conference room and she stopped and walked a few steps backwards and looked inside. It was empty.

Elliot stopped and turned to see what she was doing.

"In here." She said, pointing to the doorway.

Elliot had a puzzled look on his face, but he followed her as she entered the room. She closed the door behind him and before he knew it, she had her hand on the right side of his chest and was pushing him up against the wall.

"Are you going to act like an asshole the rest of the day?" she asked with a challenge in her voice.

He just stared at her and she could see the way the muscles in his jaw were working.

She kept her hand on his chest, but relaxed her fingers so they weren't pressing in so hard. She looked into his eyes. "Elliot. I didn't sleep with Porter." She figured that maybe if she told him, he would stop with the attitude.

"It's none of my business if you did." He said, throwing her earlier words back at her.

She cocked her head and bit her lip, because she was trying to fix things and now he really was being an ass. But she'd known Elliot long enough to know that it took him a while to get over things, just like it did for her.

"When we were _discussing_ this earlier, I was just trying to make a point. I was trying to let you know that it doesn't really matter what happened before; what's happening _now_ is what's important. I have no interest in anyone else. No one. So it wouldn't have mattered if I had slept with Porter or not. Because it would have been history." She ran her hand over to his arm and wrapped her fingers around his bicep. "I never asked you if you dated other women…or slept with other women…because it doesn't matter." And she cringed a little inwardly because, really, she would like to know.

"I haven't slept with many women Liv. You know that."

"Well I haven't slept with as many men as you'd like to believe either." She said.

"It's not the amount of men you've slept with." He said. "I just…" He dropped his head. It could have been one or twenty…he just didn't want to think about her with anyone else. Even though he knew he had no right to act that way.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. Could it be that the cockiest man she knew was suffering from a little self-confidence? Some insecurity?

She took a step closer and ran her hand down his arm. "I know it took us a while to get here. But we're here now. So whatever has happened in the past is in the past." She ghosted her mouth over his. "I can't believe you're worried that I'd even think about someone like Porter after last night." Her lips brushed his ever so lightly and Elliot's breath hitched as her tongue trailed across his lower lip. "It was intense…I've never felt like that with anyone before. We have a connection Elliot." She bit down lightly on his lower lip. "You've wrecked me for anyone else." She whispered.

Elliot dragged her hair back from her face with his right hand and tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her mouth against his and kissing her deeply, his tongue tangling with hers as she pressed herself against him. She kissed him back enthusiastically, happy that the argument was behind them. She really hoped he knew how much she wanted this to work between them.

She tried to get closer to him, but she heard a grunt as she knocked his arm. She broke the kiss and moved back, looking at him with a horrified expression on her face.

"God, I'm sorry." She apologized. Here she was mauling the poor man and he was barely out of the hospital from a gunshot wound.

"It's OK." He said, trying to tug her back to him.

She resisted. "No. You should be resting."

He put his hand on her waist and pulled her towards him. "If I wait until I'm not injured, we're never going to be able to have sex again." He was happy his broken ribs were healing nicely or he'd be a real mess and wouldn't have been able to enjoy last night. Well, at least as much as he had. And now it was just a few stitches in his shoulder. He'd survive.

"Who said anything about having sex?" she said.

"I did. Just now." He said, raising his eyebrow and giving her his best leer.

"We're not having sex here in this conference room El."

He looked around, his eyes roving over the small table and four chairs. "It's kind of like an interrogation room." He didn't want to tell her how many times he'd had that particular fantasy. Particularly when she was using her measurable sex appeal to get close to a suspect.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "The interrogation room huh?" she smiled because there had certainly been times when Elliot was acting like the alpha male he is that she would have loved to have him bend her over the table. But now was not the time.

"How about we let you heal and then we can entertain some of those…fantasies." She said.

He brushed her hair back with his good hand. "You make it hard to wait."

She smiled, feeling the same way.

"So are we done with this stupid jealousy?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him again as he rested his hand on her shoulder.

"I can't promise I won't get jealous again."

She pursed her lips together and put her hands on her hips. "You're impossible. Don't make hurt an injured man." She said.

"OK. OK." He put up his hand in surrender. "But I still think Porter is an asshole."

"Well you know what? Every time you think he's showing just a little bit too much interest, you can think about the fact that you've seen me naked and he hasn't." She leaned in and kissed him. "And that you never see me naked again unless you behave yourself."

Elliot swallowed hard, feeling himself getting aroused at the thought of her dropping her robe in his room and of her beautiful body laid out across his bed. He wondered if she would reconsider sex in the conference room.

"No." she said, seeing that look in his eyes. "Cragen is on his way back here and we have to get our shit together." She felt a twinge of guilt that they were even having this type of personal conversation when those guys were out chasing down some dangerous people. She chalked it up to being stuck here with nothing to do.

And the timing of delving into a personal relationship with Elliot.

Timing had never been their strength.

Elliot let out a groan. "I know." He pushed up off the wall and shifted uncomfortably, tugging at his jeans.

"Problems?" Olivia teased as her eyes dropped to the bulge in his jeans. She understood exactly what he was feeling because just those few kisses had affected her too.

"I'm fine." He said, smirking at her. "Won't be the first time I'll be walking around with a hard on because of you."

Olivia wasn't surprised by the fact, just that he had uttered it out loud. She didn't say anything because she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how he had affected her too. Too many days to count.

"Let's go." She placed another quick kiss on his lips and opened the door. Elliot followed close behind her and they saw Porter waiting at the elevator. He turned and saw them walking towards him.

"I thought you two already went upstairs." Porter said, looking back and forth between the two of them. Olivia ran a hand through her hair, wondering if it was messed up and if there were any other giveaways of their little make-out session in the conference room. Too late now.

They made it up to the fourth floor and they all headed to the conference room so they'd be ready. They knew Cragen would want to give them all an update.

They didn't have to wait very long. Cragen and Agent Metcalf, along with five other agents, Munch and Fin and a few others came into the squad room.

Olivia stood up. "Is everyone OK?" she asked.

"Except for the two dead suspects." He motioned for everyone to sit down. He grabbed a bottle of water and drank half of it down.

He gave Elliot, Olivia, Porter and a few other agents that had stayed behind a quick update. They'd arrived at the house and stormed it, finding both men inside dead from gunshots to the head. Executed. They knew there was a third shooter, so they're assuming he shot the other two. They found no guns or ammunition in the house, but the van was in the garage. CSU was there now, but there were so many fingerprints and other physical evidence in the vehicle it would take them weeks, if not months, to sort out.

"And no sign of Diaz?" Olivia asked.

Cragen shook his head. "No." He looked over at Metcalf and then back at Olivia. "I'm not sure he's still in the country. We've found no evidence that he is."

"But you haven't found any evidence that he isn't." Elliot said.

"True." Cragen said.

"And it doesn't really matter if he is or not. It's obvious that he's not giving up." Elliot stood up. "We have to get this guy"

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know why he's so hell bent on getting to me." She put her head in her hands. "People are dying."

"They were in the business Olivia. They weren't innocent."

She lifted her head from her hands. "Elliot was shot. He could have been killed. You all could have been killed going after these guys."

"Liv, you know where not going to stop until we get this 'em." Fin chimed in.

"We can't do this forever." She said, frustration evident in her voice. "We have work to do. You all have lives you need to get back to. Elliot will want to see his kids."

"Olivia." Cragen said with a stern tone, shutting down her monologue. "We'll take it one day at a time. And as of right now, we don't know his status or that he's given up. So we're going to go to the safe house and since Elliot is injured, I'm going to have him continue to stay with you. And we are going to assign an agent inside the house as well as the enforcement outside. We'll continue to search for this bastard."

"We don't need another agent inside the house." Elliot said.

"If something goes down, you're in no shape to defend yourself or her." Cragen said, shutting down that conversation.

"We leave in ten." Cragen said, effectively dismissing everyone. "Olivia, can I talk to you in private?"

Olivia shot Elliot a look and then turned her attention back to the Captain. "Sure." Everyone filed out of the room and Cragen closed the door. Cragen turned back towards her and Olivia pulled herself up so she was sitting on the conference room table. She was a little nervous about where this conversation may lead, but she wasn't going to offer up any information. This was his meeting.

"How you doing?" he asked, standing a few yards away from her.

She shrugged, not sure how to answer that because she really didn't know how she was feeling. It had been such an intense, crazy week. "I don't even know." She said, letting out a long sigh.

"I think I made a mistake not having Huang talk to you before now." He said. "I'm going to send him to the safe house."

Olivia shook her head. "I don't want to put anyone else in the line of fire." She said. "The fewer people associated with me, the better."

"There's just a lot going on Olivia. You were assaulted and kidnapped. Held against your will and shot at. Lord knows what else."

He paused a second and stared at her. Olivia wondered if he was waiting for her to fill in the blanks. To confess to what he most assuredly knew from the scene at the apartment last night. Fin had asked her outright, but she knew he would never tell Cragen.

"I'll be fine." She said, his words rolling around in her head. She thought about her determination to go into that warehouse. That seemed like so long ago.

"I'll hold off one more day, but if we're not any closer to finding Diaz by tomorrow night, Huang is going to come see you the next day. Being confined like this is a strain on you. And Elliot needs to see him too."

Olivia gave him a small nod, knowing she wouldn't be able to get out of it.

"I'm sending a female agent into the house with you." He said.

Olivia was happy to hear it wasn't going to be Porter, but she wondered if Cragen's reasoning was more than just Elliot's injury. She wondered if he wanted someone to keep an eye on them.

"I don't suppose it's an option to say no?"

It was Cragen's turn to shake his head. "Not a chance."

"I can't put up with this much longer Captain." She said. She meant what she said. She didn't know what the answer was, but she couldn't be in hiding forever.

"Hopefully this was the end of it." He said.

EOEOEOEOEO

They had been moved into the new safe house; an apartment that was definitely a step up from the last place they had stayed. Porter and Metcalf had come along, but another young woman by the name of Sarah Roberts was the agent assigned to stay with them. Someone had brought in food and they ate quietly around the table. Elliot and Olivia were exhausted, since they really hadn't slept much the night before.

Olivia took a shower and climbed into bed, happy to have a real bed to sleep in. She could hear Elliot rummaging around in the room next to hers, and she thought maybe she should help him since he was probably struggling with one working arm. But before the thought turned into action on her part, she was sound asleep.

She was startled awake some unknown time later and she felt a hand cover her mouth quickly as she started to yell out.

"Shh." She heard a voice. "It's me. Elliot."

She relaxed and he removed his hand from her mouth. "What are you doing? You scared this shit out of me." She whispered as he hovered over her.

"I wanted to see you." He said. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Scoot over."

"Huh?"

"Scoot over." He pulled back the covers as Olivia moved over in the bed. He slid in beside her and Olivia noted he was just in his boxer briefs. She could see the bandage on his left shoulder as he lay down next to her. He reached over with his right hand and tugged at her arm. "C'mere."

"I don't want to hurt you." She said, moving cautiously next to him so she wouldn't jostle him.

"I'll never be that hurt." He chuckled loudly.

"Shhh." Said Olivia as she snuggled into his side. "Where's Roberts?" she pressed her body against his hip and draped one leg over his thigh.

"She's asleep."

"What time is it?" Olivia asked as she felt Elliot's hand trail down her back and caress the bare skin between her tank top and her pajama shorts.

"It's after 1." He said, moving his mouth into her hair as she rested her head on his chest. She ran her hand over his bare stomach and felt his muscles contract beneath her palm.

He placed kisses along the top of her head as she toyed with the waistband of his boxers. She really wished he wasn't hurt because despite her fatigue, she'd really like a repeat performance of last night. She lifted her leg a little higher and rocked herself against his hip again.

Elliot dipped his fingers down her lower back, slipping below the material of her pajama shorts. "Why don't you take these off." He rasped.

She hesitated for a second. "That's a bad idea." She whispered back, placing a kiss on his bare chest. She continued to place open mouthed kisses as she propped herself up on one elbow, grinding herself into his hip again and letting out a small moan.

"Doesn't seem like a bad idea to me." He said, noting how despite her words, she was the one ramping things up.

She laughed lightly as she continued to kiss his chest. She let her hand slide down over the material of his boxers and she felt the length of him…he was already starting to get hard and she stroked him gently, circling the head of his penis with her fingers, then running down the length of him, applying just enough pressure to drive him insane.

He let out a long, low groan as she continued to work him over and her hand stilled. "Shhh." She said, looking towards the door. "You have to be quiet."

"Then you need to stop that." He hissed. He really needed her to move her hand or he was going to be really embarrassed. He tugged at her pajama shorts again. "Off. Now." He growled as quietly as he could.

Olivia knew they shouldn't be doing this. Elliot was hurt; Roberts was right in the next room. But she was so wet and her body was literally aching…she wanted to straddle him and slide down the length of him, burying him deep inside of her.

She rolled onto her back and divested herself of her shorts and her panties in one move. She felt the cool night air hit the wetness between her legs and she let out a small hiss. She sat up then and pulled her tank top over her head. Elliot wrestled his boxers down over his hips as best he could and when they got to his knees, he kicked them off and they landed next to the bed. He pushed himself up, sitting against the headboard and watched as Olivia crawled back over towards him, giving him a sultry look from beneath her lashes. He saw her trail her tongue along her bottom lip and he needed to have that mouth on his.

He grabbed her bicep with his right hand and tugged her towards him until she was straddling him. He groaned as she slid up the length of him, coating him with her juices. She spread her legs a little wider and settled on top of him and he was trapped as she continued to tease him by moving her slick folds along his erection. He thought he might come from just that sensation alone.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered her mouth to his jaw, teasing him with small kisses until he tangled his hand in her hair and brought her mouth to his. He deepened the kiss immediately, feeling like he couldn't get enough of her, and she grabbed the headboard as she gave everything she had back to him. The headboard slammed against the wall as she continued to rock against him and their kisses grew more fervent.

"I need to be inside of you." He growled. No sooner were the words out of his mouth before she lifted her hips up and grabbed the headboard behind him with both hands. He put his hands on her hips, wincing slightly at the pull in his left shoulder, and guided her down on top of him slowly. They both let out a low moan as he buried himself deep inside. Olivia rotated her hips slightly and clenched her muscles and he had to grab her hips to stop her for a second so he could gain some semblance of control.

The pain in his shoulder was the last thing on his mind as he slid his hands up her sides and took her breasts in his hands, kneading and massaging them as he buried his face in their softness. He ran his tongue between her cleavage and then teased her nipples with his tongue while Olivia lifted herself up and started a slow rhythm. Elliot had to move his hands back to her hips, and he started thrusting as she lifted her hips. With each thrust the headboard slammed into the wall and Elliot tried to still her…to slow down the manic rhythm she had set.

"Shhh." He said as he nipped at the skin of her neck.

"This is like high school. Having sex in my room with my mom next door." Olivia whispered, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

Elliot lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. "You had sex with your mom in the next room?" he asked, surprised at that confession.

"A story for another time." Olivia gasped out as she felt her body start to tremble.

"You naughty, naughty girl." Elliot said, realizing there was so much about Olivia he didn't know. And that maybe she was more of a wild child than he would have imagined. "I love it."

Olivia's legs were starting to get tired and she scolded herself for not going to the gym more often. She was so close…so close.

Elliot could feel her walls starting to clench around him and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. "Fuuuckk...you gotta come Liv." He said. He slid his fingers down to her clit and started teasing her and she let out a string of swear words that made him smile.

It was moments later that he felt her release and she dug her short fingernails into his shoulders, causing a mixture of pleasure as he came inside of her and of pain as she got a little too close to his gunshot wound. Olivia quickly covered his mouth with hers to keep him from yelling out anymore as he continued to release inside of her. She felt a warm rush of liquid between her legs and ground herself against him, causing another jolt to course through her sensitive body. Elliot grabbed her hip with his right arm to still her…he had to catch his breath and slow down his heartbeat. He felt a warm trickle on his shoulder and knew it was probably bleeding. He knew that was going to hurt like a son-of-a bitch but right now, he really didn't care.

Olivia collapsed against his good shoulder and he pulled her tight against him with his good arm. She kissed his cheek and then pulled back.

"I have to get up." She said. Her thighs were burning and she pushed herself up, breaking the connection between them. She collapsed on the bed next to him, causing the headboard to slam against the wall again. She looked up at him and saw he was shaking his head, but had a big grin on his face.

"Roberts must be a heavy sleeper." He said. He was very surprised the agent wouldn't have checked out all of the noises coming from this room.

"I tried to be quiet." Olivia said.

Elliot moved down on the bed next to her and rolled over on his good side. "You didn't do a very good job." He said, kissing her quickly. "I can't wait until this is over, because so far, I haven't been able to take my time with you." He said. He winced as he lifted his left arm and splayed it across her stomach. "I am going to explore every inch of this luscious body. I'm going to do things to you that are going to make you scream my name." He said with a lascivious grin on his face.

"Promises. Promises." Olivia said, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

"It's a promise I intend to keep." He said.

"I'm looking forward to it." She said, laughing lightly.

He rolled back over on his back, wincing as he pulled her body back to his. He ran his hand up and down her back in a soft, soothing pattern. "So." He said. "I want to hear more about you in high school. I think there are some stories there."

"How about we don't talk and just get some sleep." Olivia said. There was no way she was going to go into that ancient history. At least not right now.

"OK." Elliot mumbled, already half asleep. "That works."

Olivia pulled up the blankets and was sleeping in seconds.


	17. Chapter 17

_Thanks to everyone that's still reading this story. I'm not getting many reviews, so I'll keep going on faith. There are a few people that have asked about my one unfinished story, Together. I feel horrible that I haven't finished it, and I fully intend to. I will probably do so once I finish this story. I won't leave it unfinished. Thanks for reading!_

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"Liv."

She woke up slowly, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Liv."

She heard a little more urgently and she could feel someone jostling her.

"Hmmm." She mumbled, swiping her hand over her face.

"Wake up."

She could hear an urgency in the voice and she woke up fully now, realizing it was Elliot. "What?" She sat up, pulling the sheet up over her naked breasts. "What's wrong?"

"My shoulder hurts like a bitch." He said through clenched teeth and Olivia could hear the pain in his voice now. She leaned across his body without thinking to turn on the lamp.

"Jesus." He hissed and she pulled back immediately.

"Sorry." She said and then she gasped as she saw the blood covered bandage on his shoulder. She saw that blood had soaked into the sheets and she wondered how long he'd been lying there bleeding.

"Christ Elliot." She said, her hand covering her mouth. "Why didn't you say something earlier?" she thought about how she had unabashedly climbed into his lap knowing full well he had been released from the hospital less than 24 hours ago. _What was wrong with her?_

She climbed off the other side of the bed and quickly retrieved her tank top and her pajama shorts and got dressed in a few seconds. She came around the other side of the bed, looking around for Elliot's boxers. She had to get him redressed before she could call from help. She didn't want a repeat performance of the last time the EMT's showed up.

 _Damn._ How was she going to explain that Elliot was sleeping in her bed?

She looked up and saw that Elliot was struggling to sit up. She walked back over to the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I need to get to my room."

"You've bled all over the bed. I think it's a little late now." She saw Elliot's boxers and snatched them off the floor. Elliot swung his legs over the side of the bed and Olivia helped him slip them on. Elliot grunted as he sat back down and she saw his skin was sickly pale. She looked back at the bloody mess on the bed and wondered how much blood he had lost.

"Lie down." She said. She knew he was in real pain when he listened to her. She nabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it over her head as she walked out of the room, looking for Roberts. She walked next door and saw Roberts door was open and she peeked inside and saw it was empty. With a puzzled look on her face, she walked into the living room. She saw Roberts sound asleep on the couch with the TV on, and she wondered briefly if she had woken up and moved out here when she heard the headboard banging against the wall, or if she had already been out here and missed the whole thing. She hoped it was the latter.

"Roberts." She yelled and the agent woke up immediately, jumping up from the couch.

"What's wrong?" she said, and Olivia saw she had her weapon at her side.

"Detective Stabler needs medical attention. His wound is bleeding. I think he may have ripped out his stitches."

She nodded and pulled a radio off the table and Olivia decided that since she didn't ask any questions about how he might have done that, she most definitely had heard them in the bedroom. She cringed inwardly, but she would have to be mortified about that later.

"Roberts to command."

Olivia rushed into the bathroom while she let Roberts sort out what was going to happen next. She grabbed a towel and ran into the bedroom. She saw Elliot had his eyes closed and she rushed over to him. "Elliot!"

His eyes popped open. "This hurts like a bitch."

Olivia took the towel and pressed it against the wound.

"Fuck!" Elliot yelled and Olivia grimaced, upset at causing him any more pain.

"I'm so sorry Elliot." She said. She knew those words didn't even come close to making up for everything that had happened. If it hadn't been for her, he would be home safe and sound. Cuts and bruises, broken ribs, a gunshot wound and now ripped stitches. He was a mess and it was all because of her.

Roberts came into the room and if she realized this wasn't the room he was supposed to be in, she didn't say anything or react in any way.

"They don't want to send an ambulance since he's not critical. We're going to take him to the ER. There will be an SUV in the garage in ten minutes." She reported. Olivia could hear the crackling of the radio but couldn't make out what they were saying.

She turned towards Roberts. "Can you keep pressure on this while I go find some clothes for him?" she asked. Roberts nodded and came over to take over.

Olivia rushed into Elliot's room and found some sweatpants and a t-shirt. She ran back into her room and pulled back the covers. She tried to get his feet into his sweatpants and she cursed under her breath as he moaned each time she jostled him.

They heard someone pounding on the door and Roberts looked at her.

"Go." Olivia said as she came around the side of the bed. She leaned over him. "Elliot. I need your help. I can't get these all the way up." Elliot opened his eyes and reached out with his right arm, bracing himself against the bed and lifting his hips up off the bed. Olivia got his pants up the rest of the way and she tossed the t-shirt on the bed, knowing she wasn't going to have any luck getting it on.

She saw Roberts come back in the room with two other men she didn't know. They introduced themselves as agents but Olivia didn't even bother to remember their names.

"Were ready to take him." One of the men said. "Can he walk?"

"I think you're going to have to help him." She said. She moved to the side and one of the men helped him into a sitting position and they braced their arms around him and hoisted him up. Elliot grimaced in pain but he didn't make a sound and Olivia followed them out of the room. When they reached the front door, she saw an NYPD officer standing outside, and it reminded her of just how many people were involved in keeping her safe.

The officer gave the all clear signal and the moved out into the hallway. Olivia was right behind them but as she was about to go through the doorway, Agent Roberts pulled her back.

Olivia turned to face her with a puzzled look on her face. "What?"

"You're not going." She said.

"What?" Olivia said, clearly not understanding what the agent was saying.

"My instructions are that you're to stay here." She said.

"Your instructions?" she said. "No. Sorry, but I'm going along. He's my partner." And I'm responsible for this she added, in her own mind.

Agent Roberts gave her a questioning look but she shook her head. "No. You're not." She shut the door and stood in front of it, clearly letting her know that it wasn't up for discussion.

Olivia couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Whose instructions?" she asked.

"Your Captain's." she said.

"Let me talk to him." She said, cursing the fact that she still didn't have her phone.

"He's on his way here." She said.

"I'm not waiting!" she said. "They'll be gone."

"They're already gone." Roberts said.

Olivia bit the inside of her lip to keep herself from chewing out the FBI Agent standing in front of her. She knew she was only doing her job. She let out a frustrated sound and stalked over to the bedroom to get dressed before Cragen got there.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was sitting in the living room, holding a mug of coffee, when Cragen came storming into the apartment. Olivia looked at her watch and saw it was a little after 5AM, and the Captain looked like he had been up all night.

He stopped in front of the couch, directly across from Olivia, before she could even stand up. "What the hell happened?" he asked.

"Elliot ripped his stitches open." She said, hoping that Cragen wouldn't ask any more questions.

"He was fine when you left FBI headquarters." Cragen said. He let out a sigh and sat down in the chair across from her. "Do I even want to know what happened?"

Olivia took a sip of her coffee and avoided eye contact. She knew the conversation she was dreading was about to happen.

"How long?" he asked.

Olivia looked up at him, trying to decide if she could get away with denying it. The look on his face told her no. "Not long." She said.

He let out a frustrated sigh. He knew that her answer very well could have been the day he paired them up together…because this love affair had been going on since the early days. Frankly, he was surprised that had taken them this long to take things to the next level, if she was telling the truth. And he thought she was.

"I would have expected you two to have better judgment." He said, correctly assuming that Elliot had torn open his stitches in the heat of the moment. "You're on lockdown with a federal agent babysitting you…and you two decide that's a good time to…" Despite working sex crimes, he couldn't even say it. Olivia was like a daughter to him and he didn't want to think about her in any kind of sexual relationship what so ever. He had been suspicious based on the report from the shooting, and had purposely requested an agent inside the apartment to prevent this very thing from happening. He needed them on their game; not distracted by things that had no place now.

Olivia blushed slightly at the realization that he knew exactly what had been going on in the apartment that night. "I know." She said. There was no use denying it. "I don't have an excuse."

"I'm sure it's not all your fault." Cragen said, assuming Elliot was equally as culpable. He had seen the way Elliot watched her over the years, and if they really had been having sex, he had no doubt that Elliot would have a hard time keeping his hands off of her.

Which was something he was going to deal with when things got back to normal.

"I want to go to the hospital." Olivia said.

"No." he said. "That's not going to happen."

Olivia leaned back against the sofa and took another sip of coffee. She decided to try again. She leaned forward and set the mug down on the coffee table. "Captain. Everything that's happened to Elliot has been because of me. He broke his ribs and got shot…all because he was trying to protect me."

"He's going to be fine Olivia. They'll stitch him back up and keep him overnight."

"But he lost a lot of blood." Olivia argued.

"He's not in danger." Cragen said.

Olivia decided to change tactics. "Captain, I'm going out of my mind being cooped up. I can't do this forever, and you said we could reassess today." She knew she was pushing it because it was still early morning and it wasn't what he had meant. But she thought maybe she saw a crack in his armor. "My gut tells me this is over. That those shots into the apartment were his last effort. Then they killed those two shooters and left town."

Cragen didn't want to relent this early, but he had to admit that he felt the same way. They had no evidence that said Diaz or any of his men were still in town. And he knew he couldn't keep them locked up forever. The FBI had already advised they were going to give it just two more days before they pulled their agents that were providing protection.

She could tell he was waffling. "I want to be there for Elliot. He'd be there for me." She really just wanted to see him with her own eyes; make sure he really was going to be OK.

Cragen looked at his watch. "I'm not sure this is the smartest thing I've ever done, but my gut is telling me they're gone too. So I'll take you to the hospital, but we have to leave soon. I want to make sure it's still dark when we get there."

"I'm ready now." She said, standing up. She had already changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and she had running shoes on her feet. She snagged her zip up sweatshirt that was sitting on the couch next to her and pulled it on.

"Hold on." Cragen said. He knocked on the door of the apartment and Agent Roberts stuck her head in. Olivia could see them talking and then she saw Roberts nod and close the door.

"They're going to get a car." He said. "It will be a few minutes."

"Do you have an update on Elliot?" Olivia asked.

"No. But we'll be there soon."

Olivia nodded, anxious to leave.

When the car arrived, almost thirty minutes had passed by and Olivia was frustrated as hell. She practically bolted down to the car and Cragen and Roberts had to rush to keep up with her.

EOEOEOEO

By the time they arrived at the hospital, it was almost 630AM. Olivia and Cragen rushed up to the ER nurse to see if there was an update, and the nurse told them that they had closed the wound with stitches, pumped him full of antibiotics, and had given him a mild sedative. We want to keep him overnight.

"Can we see him?" Olivia asked.

She motioned towards one of the emergency bays. "We're going to be moving him to a regular room soon." She said. "But it will be 10 or 15 minutes."

Olivia saw an NYPD officer stationed outside of the bay. "You have protection on him?" she asked, relieved to see it.

"They don't seem to mind using him to get to you." Cragen said, and Olivia nodded.

She and Cragen walked in and saw that Elliot was sleeping in the bed. His color had returned, and they could see that he had an IV hooked up to his arm. Probably suppling fluids and antibiotics as well as the sedative.

Olivia was happy to see that he looked so much better and she let out a sigh of relief.

"Feel better now?" asked Cragen.

Olivia nodded. "Thank you."

Cragen's cell phone rang and he grabbed it quickly, not wanting to wake up Elliot. He stepped out into the hallway to take the call. He returned a few minutes later. "I have to get into the office."

Olivia nodded and felt another stab of guilt. She knew that he, Munch and Fin had been forced to pick up the slack with her and Elliot's absence. Which was probably the reason he looked like he hadn't slept in days. "I understand. I'm sorry we're not there to help out."

"It is what it is." He said. "Roberts is in the waiting room and she's being replaced shortly. Officer Jackson is going to stay here with Elliot."

"I'll be fine. There's so many people around." Olivia said. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Cragen nodded. "I'll check in later."

EOEOEOEO

They moved Elliot up to a regular room just an hour later, and Olivia, Officer Jackson and the new agent, Agent Newsome, went along, making a strange entourage through the hospital. Elliot was really knocked out, and never woke up during the entire transfer.

Olivia curled up in the chair next to him and watched him sleep, thankful that it seemed he was going to be OK. She had snagged a blanket off the end of the bed and was starting to nod off when she heard voices outside of the door. She was about to get up when the door opened and she saw Kathy Stabler walk through the door.

Her hand went to her cheek, as if checking to see if there were any telltale signs that she had slept with this woman's husband. She felt a pang of guilt at the thought because even though he was separated, technically, she was still his wife.

"Kathy." She said quietly, standing up.

"It would have been nice for someone to call me and tell me what the hell has been going on, and that my husband was shot."

Olivia knew that Cragen had called her and filled her in on the abduction and the safe house because she would have wondered why he wouldn't have been in contact, with his kids at the very least. She had assumed that he had called her about the shooting as well. "I'm sorry. I thought someone called you." She said.

Kathy's eyes swept over her again and Olivia wondered again if she had done a good job covering the marks Elliot had left on her during their first night together. Kathy let out a huff and turned her attention back to Elliot, obviously not ready to say whatever was on her mind.

"The nurse said he's going to recover?"

It seemed both a statement and a question, so Olivia wasn't certain if she wanted an answer or not. "Yes. He'll be fine." She said.

"I should have known you'd be here." She said.

Olivia didn't quite know what to do with that. So she left it alone. "He's been sleeping since I got here." She said, "and I'm not even sure he knows he's being kept here for 24 hours."

Kathy nodded. "They want to keep him on IV antibiotics." She said, turning back towards him.

Olivia felt uncomfortable in the room with her there. She felt like Kathy knew…

"You know what?" Olivia said, moving towards the door. "I'm going to go get some coffee. And maybe something to eat." She paused and wanted to ask her if she wanted anything, but she could see that Kathy had all of her focus on Elliot.

She closed the door quietly behind her as she walked out. She saw Officer Jackson sitting in a chair next to the door, but his job was to stay with Elliot. She wasn't sure where Agent Newsome was, or even who that was. The area looked deserted. She walked over to the nurse and asked her where she could get some food. The nurse pointed her in the direction of the cafeteria.

Olivia found it with no problem and saw a smattering of doctors and nurses getting breakfast. She got a bagel and some juice and coffee and found a small table to sit at. She didn't want to rush back upstairs; she wanted to give Kathy some time with Elliot.

She thought about her new relationship with Elliot, and wondered what Kathy's reaction was going to be. She would probably assume, just like everyone else, that they had been sleeping together for a long time. She hoped that wasn't the case because Elliot wasn't a cheater…and she never would have let him be one. That's not who he was. Nor who she wanted to be.

She finished up her bagel and juice while she had read a paper someone had left behind. She realized how disconnected she felt with the outside world. It was good to catch up. She looked at her watch and realized she had been gone almost 45 minutes. She was just going to finish up this article and head back upstairs. She laid the paper down and saw an orderly walking right towards her.

"Olivia Benson?" he asked as he stopped by the table.

"Yes?"

"Elliot Stabler is asking for you."


	18. Chapter 18

_Well readers, sorry for the short update ahead. But I figure I've given you a couple of quick updates so maybe you'll forgive me. Don't worry, I'll have the next update soon but wanted to keep the story going. Please leave a review!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia drew her brows together. "Is everything OK?" she asked, pushing her chair back and starting to stand. That's when she saw it…a glint of silver…the light hitting the blade of a knife in his hand.

She held in a gasp as she sat back down in the chair, cursing her own stupidity for coming down here alone. She had no weapon, and no means of escape from this little alcove she was sitting in.

She looked back the orderly to see if it was someone she'd seen with Diaz, but she didn't recognize him. She saw a smile play across his face…cold and indifferent. He looked like someone that would enjoy killing her.

Her eyes scanned the room, trying to figure out her options. She wondered if she launched herself out of her chair right now, if she could make it past him.

The thug standing in front of her must have seen her calculating her options because he kicked the table leg, startling her and forcing her attention back to him.

"Don't be stupid." He hissed quietly. "Diaz wants you alive." He said, his eyes dropping to her mouth and then down to her breasts and back up again. "But he'll take you dead."

Olivia couldn't help but shiver slightly at his words and at the tone of his voice. The threat was real, and she knew it.

The unidentified man moved around the table and sat down in the chair next to the left of her, making sure she could see the knife in his right hand. "Now this is what we're going to do…" he started.

"Olivia!" Her eyes jerked up and she saw Porter and another man walking towards them. Olivia assumed that was Agent Newsome and he looked like maybe he'd gotten an earful and she assume that was on her account. Now she wishes she would have found him before she came down here.

"Get rid of them." He hissed, pointing the knife at her rib cage, out of sight of the men who were approaching.

Porter and Newsome reached the table and stopped. Porter was glaring at her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he said. He glanced briefly at the orderly and then back at her.

Olivia glanced to her left and then back up at Porter. She felt the tip of the knife against her sweatshirt and knew she had to move carefully. "I was just getting some breakfast."

Porter saw her glance at the orderly before she spoke and she wondered if he knew him or if they'd just met. He shook his head. If this guy was hitting on her, he was going to be in for a surprise when he watched Federal agents haul her away. Porter wasn't going to give her time to give him her number.

"Well, that's wonderful." He said sarcastically and Olivia knew he was pissed that she had come down here alone. She prayed he would get past his anger and catch on to the fact that she wasn't likely to be having breakfast with some strange man. "Who's your friend?"

The orderly held up his left hand and smiled at Porter. "Santos." He said.

Porter ignored him and turned back to Olivia. "C'mon. Say goodbye to your friend and let's go." He said, glancing back and forth between them. When Olivia didn't move, he put his hands on his hips. "Is there a problem?"

The man next to her shifted nervously in his seat and she felt the blade of the knife push through the material of her sweatshirt. Her breath hitched and she looked up at Porter with a look of alarm on her face.

She saw the pieces fall into place and Porter and Newsome reach for their guns.

"Don't." the orderly said. "Or she dies."

Both Porter and Newsome's hands froze and she saw their attention was solely focused on him now. Porter held up his hands. "OK. Just calm down." He looked over at Newsome and saw he had put his hands up as well.

Olivia looked past them and saw people passing by, but no one was paying any attention to the scene playing out here. She silently hoped that no one else would get hurt.

"What do you want?" she heard Porter ask and she turned her attention back to him.

"I'm leaving here." He said. "And I'm taking her with me."

"That's not going to happen." Porter said, lowering his hands slightly so they were waist high.

Santos pushed the tip of the knife further into her ribs and she gasped loudly in pain as the tip penetrated through her clothing and into her skin briefly before he pulled it back out. "Then she's going to die right here."

She saw the look of surprise on Porter's face at her outburst. "He has a knife." She gasped out. She needed him to understand the situation; Porter had probably assumed he had a gun. The cut in her ribcage was burning and she could feel the blood soaking into her t-shirt.

"Shut up." Santos said. He grabbed her upper arm with his left hand and stood up, tugging her up with him, the knife still pressed against her ribs.

"I have a car waiting for me. We're going to walk out of here and you're not going to stop me." He moved behind her and wrapped his left arm around her waist, sliding his right hand, and the knife, up towards her throat. He pulled her flush against him, forming a shield with her body. "Now back off."

Olivia saw the uncertainty in Porter's eyes and she worried that he was going to do something stupid. Santos had the knife point to her throat, and she felt a small trickle of blood running down her neck where he nicked the skin.

Porter looked at Newsome and then back at Olivia and her would-be abductor and she knew he wasn't going to let him leave with her. She wracked her brain, trying to look around in her peripheral vision for some way to escape…some kind of option to end this. But he had an iron grasp around her waist, he was at least six inches taller and outweighed her by 100 pounds. She knew she was no match physically. Her only option was to outsmart him; but this was a physical fight…she didn't know what she could do.

"Listen to me." She said to Santos quietly. "They're not going to let you take me." She said. "If you give yourself up now, I'll see that they take it easy on you."

"Shut up!" He yelled in her ear. "Stupid bitch. I already told you that I'm taking you to Diaz. Dead or alive." His gaze never wavered; continuing to focus on the agents on the other side of the table. Porter started to take a step towards him.

"Let's talk about this." He said.

"Back off!" Santos said, his tone much louder this time. She saw that people around them were noticing now and they were rushing out of the cafeteria. She hoped they would get some help, although she had no idea how adding any more police power was going to help. She had no doubt that the man holding her at knifepoint would take her out before they shot or captured him. He was breathing heavily, and she could smell the nervous sweat coming out of his pores. From what he knew of Diaz, he would not want to go back and report a failure, or he'd end up with a gunshot to his head like the two men they'd found in the old house. Better to complete his mission and take his chances with the police.

He started walking backwards now and it threw her because he was backing himself into a corner. She saw Porter take a step forward and her captor tightened his grip around her waist. "Does it look like I'm fucking joking here?" he said and Olivia could hear the danger in his tone. This was a man that had nothing to lose.

She looked up at Porter and she saw that he heard it too. She needed him or Newsome to do something because if they cornered him, she knew she would be dead. They were still walking backwards and she was starting to panic because neither Porter or Newsome weren't moving. She wanted to scream at them…tell them to do something.

She felt the knife scrape across her skin and more blood running down her neck as he made a few more shallow cuts. She didn't want to move for fear that she would accidentally cause him to cut her more deeply.

He adjusted his arm around her waist and hauled her up against him and she could feel his hot breath in her hair. "That's a good girl." He said and then Olivia felt them falling backwards, momentarily confusing her because she could see the wall in her peripheral vision. Then she heard the shrieking of an alarm, and realized there must have been an emergency exit. She screamed out Porter's name as they started to pass through the doorway and the threw out her hands, trying to brace them against the doorframe. But he was too strong and he hauled her threw the door. She thought she heard Porter yelling as the door slammed shut, but she couldn't be certain with the volume of the alarm.

Santos hesitated momentarily, then adjusted his arm around her waist and moved towards the stairs. They made awkward progress down the first flight of stairs with the knife still at her throat. She struggled against him, trying to wrestle free but she felt the knife cut into her neck again and she let out a gasp at the pain.

She heard the door above slam open but she and Santos were already turning to go down the next flight. Santos made sure that her body was shielding his and Olivia wanted to scream at him to shoot. But she didn't want Santos to panic and slide his blade across her throat. They stumbled awkwardly down the stairs and she had a moment of hope that maybe she would get a break. She needed Porter to stop following them and she needed to make a move before they reached the bottom because she knew there would be a lot more cops waiting for them.

"Porter!" she yelled. "Don't follow us. He's going to kill me if you do." She hoped he could hear her over the alarm.

Santos paused momentarily and took that time to adjust his grip on her and pull her tighter against him. He ran the point of the knife down her neck again. "Good girl." He rasped into ear and then jerked them forward to the next set of stairs. She knew it was now or never and she pretended to stumble when they were about halfway down the stairs. Santos partially lost his grip on her and he lowered his arm with the knife. Olivia elbowed him in the gut and she heard the knife clatter to the cement stairs and bounce down to the landing. Olivia's legs tangled with Santos' and they both went down. They both grunted as they came in contact with the last few cement steps. Santos landed on top of Olivia and knocked the wind out of her. She gasped for breath as he tried to crawl off her but one of his legs was bent at an awkward angle and she knew it was broken. She tried to move but she couldn't catch her breath and she watched as he crawled towards the knife. She kicked out her leg to try to stop him, and even though she connected with his ribs, it didn't slow him down. She knew then that her best option was to flee; she wasn't going to be able to take him in hand to hand combat. She finally was able to take in a deep breath, reeling at the pain in her ribs. She hoisted herself up and was on her hands and knees as she moved towards the next flight of stairs.

She heard commotion below her and she yelled out for help. She was almost to the stairs and she tried to stand up when she heard Santos let out a growl behind her. She didn't look back, knowing how close he was. She was almost to the first step when she felt the knife drive into her back and the pain sliced into her. The inertia from the blow caused her to stumble down the stairs and she let out a scream as her body connected with each stair. She landed hard and heard a crack as her head hit the concrete. The last thing she heard before she lost consciousness was a gunshot.


	19. Chapter 19

Olivia woke up to a beeping sound and the first thing she registered was pain. She kept her eyes closed, trying to make sense of what was going on. She realized that she couldn't seem to catch her breath and she started to feel mild panic seize her. Her eyes fluttered open and she was disoriented again as she saw a dimly lit room.

"Olivia." She heard her name off to her right and she turned her head. She winced in pain and closed her eyes again. She felt a hand ghost over hers but her head was pounding and she didn't want to open her eyes again.

"Liv." The voice whispered again and she knew it was Elliot's voice.

She tried to open her mouth to talk, but her mouth was dry. So dry.

"Shhh. Don't try to talk." He whispered. "You're in the hospital but you're going to be OK."

She didn't feel OK. She couldn't catch her breath…her head was felt like it was going to explode…and she ached all over.

"Can you open your eyes?" he asked.

She opened them slightly and saw Elliot hovering over her. She saw him smile and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Hi there." He said softly, a goofy smile still plastered across his face.

She stared at him, still trying to figure out what was going on.

He must have seen the confusion in her face. "You're in the hospital."

The hospital. Why couldn't she remember?

"Santos is dead." He said.

Those three words brought everything flooding back. She had been visiting Elliot in the hospital. She'd made another impulsive, stupid mistake…another lapse in judgement. And Diaz had been watching. It hurt her head to think about it…

 _Elliot_. His hand was still laying loosely over hers.

She'd been visiting Elliot in the hospital. And now he was standing here next to her. It made her wonder how long she'd been out.

She looked up at him; she had so many questions.

She heard a motion to her left and turned her head, instantly regretting it as a stab of pain shot through her.

"Look who's awake." A woman in scrubs walked briskly into the room. "I'm Nancy and I'm your nurse tonight." She looked up at Elliot and then back at Olivia. "This one's been anxious for you to wake up." She said with a big smile. She patted Olivia on the hand. 'I bet you're thirsty." She picked up a cup of water and a stick with a sponge on the end and swabbed water in Olivia's mouth.

Olivia almost moaned; it felt so good. The nurse smiled and gave her a little more and Olivia lay her head back against the pillows.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yes." Olivia rasped.

"Good." She patted her arm. "OK. So I need to take your vital signs. Can you tell me how you're feeling?" she asked.

"Hurts." Olivia whispered. She knew she should be more specific, but frankly, it would be almost impossible to narrow it down. She remembered the sharp pain in her back from the knife, and she remembered falling down the stairs. She supposed she was lucky she was alive.

"Liv." Elliot said quietly. "You have a pretty bad concussion. On top of the one that you were still recovering from. You broke three ribs and your left wrist is fractured." She looked down and saw a short cast on her wrist and hand; her arm restrained to the bed. "You have a lot of bruises…and cuts on your neck…" His voice trailed off. He couldn't bring himself to even think about that lunatic holding a knife to her throat.

Olivia could see that he was struggling with telling her and she wondered what horrible information he was holding to the end.

"The knife." She whispered as the nurse listened to her heartbeat.

"You have some stitches in your side but that cut wasn't very deep." Elliot said. "But the knife in your back punctured your right lung."

That explained why she was having difficulty breathing. The nurse stuck a thermometer in her mouth and told her to clamp down.

"One other thing Liv." Elliot said, as he rubbed his thumb lightly over her hand. "When you fell down the steps…well…you ruptured your spleen. They had to remove it."

Olivia furrowed her brow. They removed her spleen? Did you need your spleen? She didn't even know.

"Do I need that?" she asked as the nurse removed the thermometer.

He smiled at her question, despite the seriousness of the discussion. "Yes, you can live without your spleen. The doctor just said you might be more prone to infections but you'll be just fine."

She nodded slightly. "I can't catch my breath." She paused. "I hurt everywhere."

Elliot knew Olivia had a high threshold for pain, so if she was admitting to it, it must be pretty bad. He looked up at the nurse. "Can't you give her something?"

The nurse nodded. "I'll increase the dosage after I'm done here." She was making some notes on the computer and Olivia turned her head slightly to look at Elliot.

"How long have I been out?" she asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. About 36 hours I guess." He nodded towards the window and she could see it was dark outside. "They rushed you into surgery to remove your spleen. You had a CAT scan for your concussion and then stitched you up…set your arm." He dropped his head again. "You were in there for a long time and I was going out of my mind."

Olivia remembered leaving him in his room to go to the cafeteria. "When I left you, you were sleeping in your own hospital bed." She narrowed her eyes slightly, as if trying to remember. "Your stitches." She said. "I pulled out your stitches." She looked over at him but she couldn't see the bandage under his shirt.

He gave her another smile and raised an eyebrow. " _We_ pulled out my stitches." He said. "And I'd gladly do it again."

Olivia let out a small laugh but stopped immediately. It was too painful.

The nurse was done with her tests and she patted Oliva on the arm. "I just added some pain medication to your IV. It's probably going to make you sleepy." She looked up at Elliot. "You should probably go and let her rest."

Olivia clutched at Elliot's hand. "No." she said. "Can you stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere." He said, lifting her hand gently and placing a gentle kiss on it before lowering it back to the bed. He looked up at the nurse to see if she was going to challenge him, but she only smiled.

"I'll bring an extra blanket." She pointed to the lounge chair next to the bed. "You can sleep there." She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Olivia looked back at Elliot. "So, you're OK?"

Elliot shook his head. "I'm fine." He was amazed that he had just rattled off a long list of some pretty serious injuries and she was asking if he was OK.

"So, tell me what happened." She said.

Elliot pulled up the lounge chair, and then lowered the hospital bed so she could look at him comfortably as they talked.

"What's the last think you remember?"

Olivia closed her eyes, the scene in the cafeteria replaying in her mind. "I remember hearing a gunshot."

Elliot nodded. "Porter shot him." He knew what her next question would be. "He's dead."

Olivia nodded slightly. She knew he was probably a lifetime criminal and had probably been responsible for a lot of pain and suffering. She knew he probably would have killed her without a second thought. But she still didn't like the thought of being responsible for another death.

"Then they rushed you into surgery like I said. I woke up and was having a quiet conversation, and the next thing I knew, Cragen was in my room and telling me about everything that had happened." He shook his head. "They wouldn't let me see you and they threatened to sedate me if I didn't stay in place until you were out of recovery. I kept my end of the bargain, but I was here when they wheeled you in."

"You've been sitting here since last night?" she whispered. She closed her eyes as the pain meds started to kick in.

"Of course." He said.

She could hear the emotion in his voice.

"When they brought you and told me everything…it nearly killed me." He intertwined his fingers between hers and rested their hands at her side. "I love you."

He looked over at her and saw she was asleep and he smiled. He said a small prayer…not the first in the past 36 hours…so thankful that she was going to be OK. He stood up and looked down at her, just watching her sleep. He brushed her hair back from her face, saddened to see the bruises and cuts there. He knew they would heal in time, but it was going to take some time for her to recover.

He heard a quiet knock at the door and saw Cragen walk in. He walked over and stood on the other side of the bed.

"How's she doing?" he asked.

"She woke up about an hour ago, but she's in a lot of pain. So they upped her pain meds. She just went back to sleep."

Cragen nodded, worried about his favorite detective.

Elliot looked at the Captain and could see he was clearly exhausted. "Did you just come to check on her?" He thought he could have called, but he knew he probably wanted to see her in person. Just like Fin and Munch and Casey had.

"I came to tell her that the Feds have Diaz."

Elliot stood up. "What?"

"They busted him going back into Mexico under an assumed name."

Elliot let out a sigh of relief. "So it's over?"

Cragen nodded. "It's over." He looked at Olivia and then back at Elliot. "You're going to stay here with her?" he asked.

Elliot nodded. "Yeah." He looked back at Cragen and could tell he had something else on his mind. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Cragen shook his head. "About Diaz…no."

"But." Elliot said.

He looked down at Olivia. "I think I have to let you know that she told me." Cragen said. "About what's going on."

Elliot raised his brows, surprised by what the confession. Hers and his. He didn't know how Cragen was feeling about it and so he didn't know what to say.

"So we're going to have to talk about that when she's cleared to come back to work." He continued.

Elliot nodded. "I love her." He needed Cragen to hear it from his own mouth.

Cragen nodded. "I know." He looked back at Olivia. "Which is why I know you'll take good care of her." It pained him to see her lying there like this…her face marred with cuts and bruises…the long list of injuries. "It's going to be awhile until she can come back to work. And her place is a mess from Diaz still."

"Cap'n. I've got it covered." He said. He could tell how worried he was about her. "I told Kathy." He said, making his own confession so he would know how committed he was.

"How did that go?" Cragen asked, knowing how hard that must have been for him.

Elliot let out a heavy sigh. "It was hard." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "But she wasn't really surprised. I guess I thought we did a better job of hiding our feelings over the years."

Cragen smiled, but didn't comment.

"But you know we never…" Elliot rushed to correct any misconception he had. He wasn't certain what Olivia had told him.

Cragen cut him off. "I know."

Elliot nodded. "Kathy and I have the divorce papers. We just have to sign them."

Cragen nodded again and looked back at Olivia. "You're a good man Elliot." He looked back up at him. "And I know you'll take good care of her." He took one last look at Olivia. "I'll check in tomorrow, OK?" He headed for the door. "Good night."

EOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up and stretched out on the bed. She saw that Elliot was already out of bed, and a few seconds later, she heard something crash in the kitchen, followed by a string of curse words. She looked over at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was almost 10. She had gotten so used to sleeping in over the past three months, ever since she'd been released from the hospital. But this was it. She was supposed to be officially cleared to go back to work the day after tomorrow and she was so excited. She had spent a week in the hospital following her surgery, and then the last three months in physical therapy, counseling and requalification for her weapon. She was so ready to go back to work; to resume a normal life.

She just had to pass her physical tomorrow and she would be cleared…for everything.

Elliot had been a saint in the past three months. He had insisted that she move in with him, telling her about his divorce and explaining to her that it was inevitable…so she might as well just do it now. He had gone to her apartment and gotten her clothes, and when she was more mobile and needed to take a field trip, they had gone there and picked up keepsakes and other things she wanted to keep. As of now, her apartment had been emptied and her lease ended next month. She wasn't going back.

Elliot hadn't wanted to stress her out, but they'd had some difficult decisions about work and during one of Cragen's many visits, they had talked about how to move forward when she did return. He had agreed to let them both come back on a trial basis, each with a new partner. During the Diaz case, two new detectives had transferred in, and 1PP had agreed that SVU could keep them due to the workload. There were a lot of conditions on them both staying in SVU, but he had begrudgingly agreed that they had managed for the past seven years…despite the feelings they had for each other….so it was a pretty safe gamble that could keep it out of the workplace.

The hardest part had been the slow nature of her recovery and the limitations on her physical activity. She'd been pretty limited in what she could do the first two months. Her ribs and her lung had taken a lot longer to heal then she thought they would. But when she was starting to feel better, she had wanted to move past the kisses they shared. She had tried to push Elliot a little, and they'd had a few minor make-out sessions, but he had been adamant about holding off on sex. Which was so frustrating when they were at the beginning of their new relationship. Every time she tried to take things further, insisting she was fine, he told her that he wanted to make sure she made a full recovery first and the tell her all of the things he wanted to do with her and why she needed to be healthy. Which she found even more frustrating.

She didn't know why it didn't seem to affect him like it did her…she figured he was just better at hiding it then she was.

She had tried again last night, wearing a very sexy black teddy, and he had pulled her down on the bed and kissed her until she was dizzy. But despite their bodies reaction to each other and her threatening to never have sex with him again if he didn't fuck her right then and there, he had held her close and told her to go to sleep.

She wondered if there was some kind of special class in Catholic school about resisting temptation because she was reasonably certain she looked good in this black teddy.

She had huffed at him and turned her back, muttering that she was going to take care of things herself. But not ten minutes later she was snuggled up next to him; she couldn't stay mad at him. She never could for long.

She moaned as she remembered her frustration last night, but she opened her eyes when she heard Elliot walking down the hall. He appeared in the doorway a few seconds later, balancing a tray in his hands.

She raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a big smile. "Breakfast in bed?" He usually brought her coffee, but today she saw scrambled eggs, fruit and yogurt. "It looks delicious."

She sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard and Elliot balanced the tray across her lap.

"Where's your breakfast?" she asked as he climbed into bed next to her.

"We're sharing." He said as he grabbed a strawberry off the tray.

He looked up at her and smiled and then let his eyes drop down to the considerable amount of cleavage showing. She was still wearing that damn teddy and he growled as he placed a kiss on her shoulder.

Olivia smiled at him. "You know…the doctors going to clear me tomorrow." She said, using the same argument she had tried last night.

"Maybe." He said.

"Most likely." She countered.

"Well I guess we'll know tomorrow."

"Elliot. You're so goddamn frustrating. You know I'm perfectly fine."

"Liv. I told you this before. The first time we made love was rushed. There was just too much pent up… want." He said, nuzzling her shoulder. "Followed by gunshots. Then we were restrained because there was an agent in the next room." He placed an open mouthed kiss on her shoulder. "I need to know you're healthy and everything's healed. I need you to be 100% because when I get my hands on you, I'm not holding back. I want to taste every inch of you…I'm going to make you come so hard you're going to forget your own name." he whispered as he continued to kiss her shoulder.

Olivia shivered. "We have all day today El." She said, her voice husky. Everything he'd just said had gone right to her core.

He lifted his head up and placed a kiss on her lips. "Tomorrow Liv." He grinned at her

She cursed him again under her breath because damn it, she wanted to tackle him on this bed right now. And the bastard knew it.

He popped another berry into his mouth and grinned at her. "Now eat your breakfast."

 _Thanks to everyone that's been reading this story. Unfortunately, there's just going to be one more chapter of E/O goodness in this story. Maybe two. But the case is over, so the story is too, and we'll just be wrapping up some loose ends and making sure El and Liv have the happy ending they deserve…. or will they?_


	20. Chapter 20

_Thanks to everyone for your patience! I didn't intend to take this long to update, but I met some of my FF/SVU friends in L.A. this past weekend and I didn't get any writing done! This is coming close to the end of this story, but as one reader commented…Elliot promised to take his time with her. Let's hope she gets cleared by the doctor! Thanks to my beta,_ _ **writersrefinery**_ _, for staying up late to proof and provide comment. Thanks again for reading and please leave a review. It makes my day!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was cleaning up the mess he'd made in the kitchen, while Olivia took a shower and got ready for the day. Damned woman had stripped out of that black lace teddy right in front of him and asked him to help her into the shower and it had taken everything in him to deny her.

He knew she thought he was being extreme in refusing to have sex with her but he was serious when he said he wanted to know that she was 100% healthy and cleared by the doctor. Because he'd been waiting a long time and he didn't want to worry about being gentle.

There would be time for gentle later.

He also knew that Olivia had a habit of glossing things over, and that even when she said she was fine, he didn't always believe her. He'd seen her favor her left hand at various times and he knew for a fact that she still struggled with shortness of breath sometimes. He'd asked her about it several time but she just wrote it off as being out of shape. He knew she'd been getting plenty of exercise through her physical therapy, so she wasn't out of shape, but he didn't call her on it.

So was he going to wait? _Yes_.

Was he going to be happy about it? _No_.

Because the last couple of weeks had been pure hell. As soon as she was feeling better, she'd been trying to seduce him, and he felt like he walked around with a permanent hard-on.

That woman was like Eve herself, tempting him like the devil himself had put her up to it.

He frankly didn't know what the hell he was going to do if the doctor didn't clear her.

He finished up in the kitchen and he heard her singing in the bathroom. He smiled and remembered the first time he'd heard her singing in the shower. It had been several weeks after she returned from the hospital; after the home health care nurse stopped coming. He had wanted to help her, but she had insisted she could do it by herself. He'd been a nervous wreck as he sat outside the door, ready to run in and rescue her if she needed help. When he heard her singing, it had taken him completely by surprise and it made him realize there was so much he didn't know about her.

She had been worried about moving in with him right away, but the reality was that her apartment was still trashed, and she needed someone to help take care of her. So she had finally conceded. Maybe she knew it was inevitable too.

Despite his desire for her, the fact that they'd had to put their sexual relationship on hold may have been one of the best things to happen to them, because it forced them to become close in other ways. They'd just lie together and talk. They talked about the millions of small things they had never learned about each other over the past seven years. He felt closer to her than ever.

He was startled from his thoughts when Olivia walked out of the bedroom and told him the shower was free. He just stood and smiled and she stopped, blushing slightly at his perusal of her.

"What?" she asked.

"You look beautiful." He said, and he meant it. She was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a white sweater, and she had left her hair loose and wavy. She didn't have a lot of make-up on and he knew that was because he told her once that he thought she looked better without it. He meant that too.

"I'm wearing jeans and sweater." She said, shaking her head and walking towards him. "Is this OK for lunch?"

Elliot knew she was still a little nervous about having lunch with all of the kids today. It had been somewhat of a rocky adjustment over the past couple of months. While Kathy had accepted his relationship with Olivia, it had taken the kids a little longer, and each one of them dealt with it in their own way. The situation had been even more difficult because he wasn't able to spend as much time with them since he had been taking care of Olivia, and there had been resentment there too.

But he felt like they were all in a good place now, and Kathleen and Maureen had suggested he and Olivia meet them for pizza at their favorite place in Queens. He had happily agreed, taking it as a good sign.

"We're going to a pizza place." He said, smiling broadly. "You're probably overdressed." He walked over to where she was standing and placed his hand on her hips. "Don't be nervous."

She furrowed her brows at him. "I'm not nervous." She was but she would never admit it.

Elliot leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. "OK."

"I'm not." She said indignantly.

"OK." He said. He kissed her again and then dropped his hands from her body. "I'm going to jump in the shower and then we can head to Queens."

EOEOEOEO

The alarm went off early Monday morning and Olivia groaned. "Is it 6AM already?"

Elliot reached over and rubbed her back. "Welcome back to reality." He said. He'd been back to work for 2 months, and even though he was up early, she had mastered the art of rolling over and going back to sleep.

"I could call Cragen and tell him I'm going to be late." He said.

"You're not going to the doctor with me." She said, knowing that's what he was hinting at.

"I don't know why you won't let me come along." He said, still a little bothered by the fact.

She propped herself up on her elbows to look over at him. "I don't know why you _want_ to go along." she said. She was lying because she knew exactly why he wanted to come along. He didn't trust her to tell him the truth about what the doctor said.

"I want to be there for you." He said.

"Bull." She lowered herself back down on the pillow. "You know that the doctor has to sign off on a form before I can go back to work. I can't fake that."

"I didn't say you would."

"Elliot. I see the way you watch me to make sure I don't overdo it. You won't let me do anything around the apartment." She moved a little closer to him and looked him right in the eye. "You won't have sex with me." She trailed her fingers along his arm. "I'm a big girl El. I know my limits. You don't have to be so overprotective."

"Someone has to make sure you take care of yourself." He said.

She nodded. "I am taking care of myself. I'm not going to break if I do a little housework…or if someone mentions Diaz." She waited for him to deny it, but she knew he had told people not to bring it up. The Feds had jumped in and were taking him to trial for human trafficking and a number of other charges that were going to put him away for life. Apparently that trumped the abduction and attempted murder of a police officer.

After hours of talking to her counselor, she was OK with it. Well…she was learning to deal with it. They were getting justice for all of the women he had enslaved; he was never going to get out of prison. She could live with that. But she knew Elliot couldn't and that he was still pissed off about it.

She told him to let it go. But he wouldn't be Elliot if he did.

"I am taking care of myself." She said. "How many hours of counseling did I go to? Did I miss one physical therapy session?" She placed a kiss on his shoulder. "No." She moved her body closer to his, sliding one leg over his. "You're going to see. The doctor is going to tell me I'm 110%."

"Yeah, well I want to see a copy of that form before you turn it in to Cragen."

She slid her leg up and down his while she ran her hand across his chest. "Well, I'm pretty sure there's no box on the form that says it's OK for me to have sex." She placed an opened mouth kiss on his chest and looked up at him. "So you're going to have to take my word for it."

Elliot seized her wrist and pulled her hand off his chest. In one swift move, he had rolled them over and he was pinning her wrists to the bed. He climbed over her and pushed her legs apart with one knee. He dropped his mouth against hers and kissed her hard, opening her mouth with his. She kissed him back eagerly, glad that he was finally giving in. She pushed her hips up against him and he pressed his knee into her core, and she moaned into his mouth. Elliot pulled his mouth from hers and looked down at her.

"Then you'd better get a separate note." He said. He laughed at the pissed expression on her face as he released her wrists and climbed off the bed. He headed towards the bathroom and the shower and Olivia pitched a pillow at him, hitting him in the back.

"You know what?" she said. "Even if I do get cleared, I'm not having sex with you." She called after him as he closed the door. She fell back on the pillows and knew he was still laughing on the other side of the door. Because he knew, as well as she did, that it was complete and utter BS.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot watched the clock, trying to will the day to go faster. It was just a little after 4 and he wanted to get home. Olivia's doctor's appointment had been at 10, and he was frustrated because she hadn't called him. He'd sent her more than five text messages and left at least as many voicemails, and he was worried about why she wasn't answering.

It couldn't be good.

He had been worried about her state of mind if she didn't get cleared to go back to work. She would be devastated. She was bored out of her mind and eager to do something useful. Another two weeks would drive her insane.

He picked up the phone and dialed her number again. It went to voicemail and he slammed the phone down without bothering to leave another message. He looked at his watch for the hundredth time and was just about to say fuck it and head home, when Casey walked into the squad room. He looked at her, hoping she wasn't here to talk to him. No such luck.

"I need to talk to you and Cragen." She said. She never slowed down as she headed right into Cragen's office. Elliot sighed and followed her, hoping this wasn't going to take a long time.

EOEOEOEO

By the time Elliot got out of Cragen's office, it was after five. He checked his phone and still no message from Olivia. He had a moment of panic, thinking maybe Diaz had found a way to her. But he dismissed it. It had been months and the threat really seemed to be over. He didn't want to overreact.

He wasted no time getting to the car and heading to his apartment. He pounded on the steering wheel as traffic slowed down, cursing the city. He finally pulled up and blessedly found a spot on the street.

He rushed upstairs with his keys in his hand and had the door unlocked in seconds. He walked into the apartment and immediately yelled for Liv.

"Where the hell is she?" he muttered when he got no reply. His mind started racing as to the possibilities, and he wasn't sure if he should be worried or upset.

The only light on in the apartment was one over the sink, and it cast very little light. He walked into the kitchen to place his weapon and badge on the counter as he normally did. He flipped on the overhead light, and almost knocked over an open beer sitting on the counter.

"What the hell?" he said out loud as he grabbed the bottle before it smashed on the counter. The bottle was open, and cold. He saw a small, flat box wrapped in white paper with a big red ribbon and bow on it. There was a small white gift tag taped to the box, and after the printed verbiage which said "A Gift for", his name was scrawled in Olivia's handwriting. He furrowed his brow in confusion as he reached for the box. He took a swig of beer before setting the bottle down and ripping open the package.

There was a piece of paper folded inside and he opened it up, panicking for a moment about the contents. His irrational mind thought that maybe it was some kind of goodbye letter or some bad news…but when he unfolded it, he saw it was a copy of the form that the NYPD required as clearance to go back to work.

There were all of the normal boxes checked about resuming physical activity, but he saw something scribbled at the bottom, and he smiled when he saw it.

Olivia had added one box beneath all of the others. And next to it were the words:

 _Patient is able to commence all sexual activity_.

And instead of a check mark in the box, she had placed a big, red-lipped kiss.

Elliot got a big grin on his face and toed off his shoes. "Olivia?" he yelled, walking out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom. He saw the door was shut.

"Olivia?" he asked more quietly, opening the door a crack. He saw flickering shadows on the wall and saw several lit candles on the dresser.

"Welcome home." She said as he opened the door completely and walked into the room. He stopped when he saw her standing there, all of his anger and frustration gone as he took her in from head to toe.

She was wearing a silky, red robe that ended high up on her thighs, and his eyes wandered down her long, bare legs. His eyes roved back up, eyeing the sash that was tied loosely, giving him a generous peak of her cleavage. His eyes lingered momentarily before moving up to her face. Her hair was loose and wavy, her eyes dark and her lips red, and she looked every bit the seductress standing in front of him.

"Are you the second part of my present?" he asked, waving the doctor's form in his hand and smiling mischievously.

Olivia bit into her bottom lip with her teeth and raised an eyebrow at him, looking him up and down. She released her lip and gave him a sultry smile as she walked over towards him. "That depends." She said. She grabbed his tie and tugged at it, pulling him closer. "Have you been a good boy today?" She whispered in a husky voice that sent a jolt through his body.

She tugged at his tie again, pulling him closer to her as she slid her other hand around the back of his head. She moved her mouth over his, mere centimeters from pressing her lips to his. "Because I'm a very good girl."

He could smell wine on her breath and he wanted to taste her lips. He dropped the form on the floor and reached up, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her towards him. In moments he had captured her lips and opened her mouth with his. He slid his tongue in her mouth before she knew what was happening and she moaned slightly, sending another rush of heat through his body. He could taste the fruitiness of the wine on her tongue and he devoured her mouth hungrily.

The waiting was over…which was good because his patience was gone.

His left hand wrapped around the sash at her waist, tugging slightly, and she pulled her mouth from his. "Someone's eager." She gave him another sultry smile and looked up at him through her lashes. She reached up with her other hand and tried to pull his tie loose, but he dropped his hand from the sash of her robe and let it slide down her back, cupping her ass and squeezing her cheek before he pulled her flush against him.

He moved his mouth to her ear. "I promised you that when you were better, I was going to explore every inch of your body…and I always keep my promises." He whispered into her ear, sending a shiver through her body. He placed warm, open mouthed kisses on her neck while he slid his hand from her ass down to her bare thigh. He played with the hem of her robe and then smoothed his palm over her outer thigh. "What do you have on underneath this robe?" he whispered as he continued to nip at her neck, teasing her with his tongue.

Olivia let her head fall back as he continued to kiss her neck. It felt so good…she had been trying to get him to have sex with her for weeks and she was so ready. She was embarrassed at how her body was reacting but she wanted him…badly. "You're going to have to find out for yourself." She said with a small moan.

Elliot ran his hand up her outer thigh, taking the robe with it. He laid his palm flat on her hip, rubbing his thumb over her hipbone. His right hand was still tangled in her hair and he tugged her head back even more, sucking hard at the pulse point on her neck. He could feel her breathing get heavier; he knew that drove her mad.

Olivia tensed slightly as Elliot's hand on her hip started to move. She wanted him to slide his hand between her legs, knowing he'd find out how wet and ready she really was. She'd been thinking about this all damned day and she needed some relief. It had been too long. She groaned as he slid his hand backwards and found her bare ass.

"Jesus Liv." He groaned. She knew she was probably naked under her robe but confirmation of it was something else. He wanted to take his time with her. He really did. But it was going to be damned hard.

"I'm making it easy for you." She said in a husky voice, lifting her head and forcing his mouth from her neck. She ran her hands up his arms. "And you have way too many clothes on." She said. She ran her hands back down his arms and then over his groin, feeling how hard he was beneath her. She squeezed him gently while she ran her hand up and down his length and he cupped her ass and pulled her towards him, trapping her hand between their bodies.

"You're going to have to stop that." He said and she laughed. He released her then and reached for his tie. Olivia took a few steps back and grabbed her glass of wine off the nightstand. She sat down on the bed, taking a sip from her wineglass. She saw Elliot watching her, so she slowly crossed her legs, noticing the way he watched her.

Hungrily…

He pulled his tie off and went for the buttons of his shirt next. Olivia licked her lips and took another sip of wine. She raised an eyebrow as he pulled his shirt off, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. He went for the button on his pants, but she interrupted him.

"Take the t-shirt off first." She said, looking up at his eyes and then back down at his chest. The man had an amazing body and she wanted a few minutes to take him all in. He gave her a cocky smile and peeled the t-shirt off, doing it painfully slow and she shook her head in annoyance.

"Don't mess with me." She said in her best, annoyed voice, but she couldn't pull it off and ended up bringing the glass of wine to her lips to hide her smile.

Elliot got into his little strip tease then and turned his back to her as he pulled the belt off. He dropped it on the floor and stuck his ass out towards her, wiggling it slightly as he fumbled with the button and zipper. Olivia stretched out her leg and pushed her foot against butt, almost causing him to fall over.

"Get those pants off now." Now she was getting a little annoyed because really…she just needed him between her legs. This was fun, but was taking way too long.

Elliot dropped his pants and turned around, scowling at her. "You need to learn some patience." He said. He had lowered his voice and the look he was giving her made her shiver.

Predatory…

She watched his eyes with hers, wondering what he was going to do next. She set her wine glass down on the nightstand and watched him his eyes as he stared at her. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but his eyes were dark and his breathing was heavy, and she could see how hard he was as his cock strained at his underwear. Her breath quickened as his eyes moved down her body slowly, stopping at her breasts and her hips…and then moving slowly down her legs. She pulled herself up on the bed as he took a step towards her.

"And I'm going to be the one that's going to teach you some." He said, his voice almost a growl. He was on the bed then, straddling her body and pushing her down on the mattress. It was clear his restraint was gone as he covered his mouth with hers. He kissed her hard, pressing her into the pillow. His right hand seized her wrist and pinned it to the bed as his left hand grasped her breast through her robe. She arched her back and pressed herself into his hand, and he traced her peaked nipple with his finger.

God, she wanted this robe _off_. She wanted to feel his rough hands against her bare skin.

Elliot pulled his mouth from his and she gasped for air. He let go of her wrist and she tugged at the sash of her robe.

"Elliot." She moaned. "Take it off…my robe…". She opened her eyes and saw he had sat back on his knees and was looking back down at her.

"Patience." He said.

He lifted her arm and then the other, and held them in his hands. He lifted them up over her head and up against the wooden rods in the headboard.

"Grab the bars with your hands."

"What?" Olivia asked, giving him a puzzled look.

"Hold on to the bars." He said. He gave her a pointed look. "And don't let go." He saw she was about to say something but he leaned over her, his mouth close to hers. "Just do it." He said, giving her a smile. "Or I'll handcuff you."

He felt her shudder beneath him and wondered if she wanted him to do just that. She seemed to read his mind because she acquiesced and wrapped her fingers around the wooden bars. He could feel her tense beneath him.

"Relax Liv." He whispered in her ear. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course." She said in a whisper. It was absolutely true. She trusted him with her life. But it made her a little nervous that she didn't know what he was going to do…and that he seemed intent on taking charge. She liked being in control, but this was Elliot, and she was happy to relinquish it to him.

He leaned over her then, bracing himself with his left hand propped next to her head. He trailed the fingers of his right hand across her forehead and down the right side of her face. He cupped her cheek with his hand and ran his thumb back and forth over her lips, smearing the small amount of lipstick that was left. Olivia sucked his thumb into his mouth and he watched as the muscles of her jaw worked, causing his dick to twitch as he imagined that mouth on him. He pulled his thumb from her mouth and leaned over, kissing her hard and fast, biting at her lower lip before releasing it.

He lifted himself up slightly and trailed his hand down the curve of her jaw and then down her throat, hesitating at the hollow of her neck. He sat up then, and reached for the glass of wine. He took a sip and saw her watching him. He gave her a small smile then, and then she watched as he tipped the glass slightly, dripping wine onto her chest. It was cool against her heated skin and she gasped again as some pooled at her neck and the rest ran down between her breasts.

Elliot put the glass back on the table and then leaned over her again, dipping his tongue into the hollow at her throat and smearing the wine across her collarbone. He let his tongue trail down towards her cleavage, following the trail the wine had made. He tugged at the sash, loosening it slightly so that her breasts were exposed and she arched her back into him as he closed his mouth over her right breast. She let out a small hiss as his tongue teased her nipple and her entire body was on fire. She could feel the wetness between her legs and she arched her hips up off the bed as he bit down lightly.

'Gaaawwd." She moaned as heat coursed through her body and she thought that he might make her come from just this. _Arrogant son of a bitch_.

He massaged her left breast, squeezing and using his thumb against her nipple as he continued to tease her other breast with his lips and his tongue. He could feel her trembling beneath him and he smiled against her breast, loving the fact that he was affecting her like this. He felt her move and pulled his mouth from her breast when he saw her hands coming down.

"Olivia." He growled as he looked up at her.

She hesitated, and then lifted them up again, grasping the bars. She didn't want to give in, but she needed release and while she didn't think he would leave this bed without fucking her, he could certainly make her wait. And she needed relief…now.

"Elliot…" she moaned. "I need…" she gasped as he bit lightly on her nipple again. He soothed it with his tongue and she loved that he was rough and gentle with her at the same time. He moved his mouth over to her other breast and she could feel another rush of heat move through her body. She gripped the wooden rods harder as she her body started to tremble and she clenched her thighs together and pushed her hips up, frustrated at being trapped as he straddled her. "Fuck…" she said in a frustrated groan.

Elliot reached up for her right breast with his hand again and tugged at her nipple while he continued to tease and bite at her other breast. He hummed against her breast and the vibration ran through her entire body and she was close…so close.

It was only a few more seconds before she felt herself go over the edge and she gasped at the intensity of it as it washed over her. She moved beneath Elliot, trying to escape the assault of his mouth against her skin.

He sat back on his knees again, trailing his hand between her breasts and her breath hitched at the contact, her chest heaving with and her body still clenching. He reached up placed his hand over hers, lowering them as he dropped his mouth against hers. He slipped his tongue between her lips, still tasting the wine she had drank.

Olivia wrapped her hands around head, raking her fingers through his hair and trying to pull him down against her. She couldn't breathe…couldn't catch her breath…but she didn't want him to stop kissing her. His late afternoon beard was scraping her skin and she knew her lips were swollen but she wanted to feel his bare chest against her sensitive nipples. She arched her back into him, trying to tell him that she wanted him between her legs, but he didn't relent, continuing to kiss her hard. His hand slid down between her breasts and she whimpered as he flattened his hand across her abdomen. She lifted her hips again…she wanted him between her legs. She wanted to feel the stretch…the pinch as he pushed himself inside of her.

She wrenched her mouth away from his and pushed his head away from hers.

"Please…" she moaned, throwing her head back.

Elliot put one knee between hers, pushing her legs apart. He was so hard and her begging made him want to take her right then and there. But he had told himself he was going to learn every inch of her luscious body and that was exactly what he was going to do. Seven years…he had looked but never touched. Seven years he had wanted to feel these curves beneath his hands. Seven years he had wondered what she tasted like…and if she'd be quiet or loud as she came.

So he was taking his time.

He pushed her legs apart a little more, but didn't press up against her… not yet.

"Yeeessss." She hissed.

Elliot leaned over her and grabbed the sash of her robe, which somehow was till partially tied. He untied it completely, and then pulled her robe open, staring down at her body lying beneath him. Her skin was flushed and her breasts were reddened from his handling of her. He trailed his fingers down through her cleavage and then danced lightly against her abdomen. Her muscles contracted beneath his fingers and she fisted the sheets beside him, letting out a string of curse words. He leaned over her and ran his tongue across her nipple, causing a jolt from her body and a hiss from her lips.

He backed up slightly and dropped his mouth against her stomach, causing her to jump.

"Sensitive?" he teased as he placed close mouth kisses across her abdomen. He bit down lightly on her hip bone and she jumped again.

"Goddamnit Elliot." She said, impatient at this constant teasing.

He lifted his head and looked up at her. "I told you that I keep my promises…and that you have to learn some patience."

"I can't take any more." She gasped as he backed up some more, settling himself between her legs. He wrapped his arms underneath her thighs and clasped his hands against her skin to hold her legs in place. He felt her tense in anticipation and he smiled as he placed a kiss on her inner thigh.

"Oh, you're going to take it." He teased, continuing to kiss her inner thigh as he moved closer to his intended target. He could feel the heat radiating from her and his dick throbbed with need. His mouth hovered over her and he hesitated before he ghosted his mouth over her mound. Olivia moaned in appreciation, trying to fight against him…but he held her tight. She let out an unintelligible mixture of moans and words as he trailed his tongue between her folds, and he groaned at how wet she was. He found her clit with his tongue and teased her, circling it with his tongue before running down to her entrance before he ran it back up again. Back and forth, licking, teasing…she was coming undone…her body already sensitive from her last orgasm.

She was fighting him and pushing her hips against him at the same time, wanting relief from his relentless teasing and wanting relief that only he could give her right now. She couldn't believe he was going to make her come again so quickly, and she knew that it was going to be like nothing she had experienced before.

She dug her heels into the bed and grabbed the sheets, trying to keep some semblance of control. Then she felt Elliot's fingers at her entrance as his mouth moved to her clit and she knew she was done. He slid one finger inside of her and she let out a long low moan. He sucked on her clit as he slid a second finger inside and her muscles clenched around him as he curled his fingers inside of her and pumped them in and out. The pressure was almost unbearable and her entire body was clenching as she dug her heels in harder. She reached for his head with one hand, grasping at it…but she was too far gone.

"ohgodohgodoh…" she gasped as her orgasm wracked her body. She closed her eyes and threw her head back as her thighs clenched around his head, trapping his fingers inside of her. He lifted his mouth from her, placing kisses on the insides of her thighs as her body continued to convulse around his fingers.

She was panting as she finally relaxed her thighs and he pulled his fingers from her body. He placed a kiss on her right hipbone and then on her abdomen, her body covered in a light sheen of sweat. He saw she still had her eyes closed and he could see she was trying to regain her composure. He kissed his way up her body, sending small aftershocks through her. He nestled his hips between her legs and she gasped at he hit her sensitive core.

He hovered over her mouth, her chest still heaving beneath him. He rocked into her, the only barrier between them his boxers. He couldn't believe he still had them on, and he couldn't believe he'd been able to hold out this long. "Are you ready for me?" he asked, placing kisses along her forehead and down the side of her face before grasping her lips with his.

She moaned into his mouth as he rocked against her again; all intelligent thought had left her body a long time ago. She was weakened from her two orgasms and she just wanted him inside of her. She reached down and grasped at his boxers, not quite believing he still had them on. She hadn't had any time to even touch him except when he was still dressed and she reminded herself that payback was often a bitch…but for her it was going to be pure pleasure. _Next time_. Because right now she needed those boxers OFF.

"Off." She rasped, unable to get a good grip on his boxers. Elliot took one of his hands and reached down, dragging them down with one hand and kicking them off. He lined himself up at her entrance and she moaned as he penetrated her slightly. She wrapped her legs around him, and lifted her hips. "Please." She moaned again, unable to stop herself from begging because she was so far gone.

Elliot covered his mouth with hers as he started to push inside. Her body was tight and he had to push past her resistance. He ripped his mouth from hers as they both moaned loudly as he slid inside her. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain for her as he pulled out slightly and then rocked back into her, pushing more deeply inside of her.

"God Liv. So tight." He said. He knew her body was working against him…her body tight due to her previous orgasms. He pulled out again and slammed back into her, stretching her as he buried himself deep inside her with a groan. Olivia lifted her hips up off the bed, taking him in even more. She released her legs that were wrapped around him and Elliot smoothed one hand on her outer thigh, taking her leg in his hand and pushing it out, opening her up to him. Then he pushed it up towards her chest and rocked his hips into her again and they both let out another loud moan. He found a rhythm then, pulling out and fucking into her hard, getting a gasp from her with each thrust.

The sound of skin against skin filled the room and while he wanted to touch her…to kiss her…he needed all of his energy to hold her in place as he continued to pound into her.

"Harder." He heard her gasp and he felt her body trembling beneath him. Her walls were clenching around him and it took all of his concentration to hold off his release. Her gasps filled the room and she was trying to grasp his shoulders but his body was sweaty and she couldn't so she dug her fingernails into his skin, causing him to yell out.

She felt so good…so fucking good…their bodies were so tuned to each other. He fit perfectly between her hips…and her body fit perfectly around his. She was wrapped around him like a vise…and he felt his release was imminent. He let go over her leg and braced himself over her, his movements becoming more erratic as he felt his orgasm build through his body.

"Fuck Liv." He looked down at her. She was writhing beneath him but her eyes flew open when he said her name. "I'm going to come." He moaned.

"Yesss." She moaned. "Come inside me." She said. She clenched her muscles around him and he swore as his orgasm tore through him, forcing his release deep inside of her.

She could feel his warmth spread through her and she felt herself shattering around him, forcing him to hold himself in place as she convulsed around him, taking every last ounce he had to give her. When their bodies were spent, he lost it, collapsing on his forearms and burying his face in her hair.

"Fuck." He gasped, pleasure still coursing through his body as her walls continued to clench around him. He kissed her cheek and then buried his face in her neck. "God Liv." He lifted himself up and looked at her, worried by her silence.

"Are you OK?" he asked, concerned that somehow he had hurt her.

She gave him a lazy smile, so spent and barely having enough energy to give him even that. "I'm fine." She rasped out. She closed her eyes. "Not fine."

"What?" Elliot asked, lifting his head up and looking down at her. He nudged her slightly, confused by what she'd said. "Liv."

She opened her eyes and stared into his. "I don't even have words." She said and he laughed lightly.

"I agree." He said. "But if I did have words…" He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I would tell you that I love you." He nuzzled his nose against hers. "And I love your doctor for clearing you." He kissed her again. "And I absolutely loved teaching you about having a little patience."


	21. Chapter 21

_I just want to say thank you to everyone that stuck with me through this story! A special thanks to my fab beta,_ _ **writersrefinery.**_ _I got to spend some time with her last weekend and it was a blast! She never fails to make me smile. This is the last chapter of this story. I have some other ideas kicking around, and I also promised to finish Together, but if you have any comments or suggestions, please just send me a message! Thank you!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up to the feel of Elliot's fingers tracing patterns on the small of her back. She groaned because the room was still dark and she felt like she had just gone to sleep.

"What time is it?" she rasped.

Elliot apparently took that as an opening because he scooted his body closer to hers, and slid his hand over her satin panties. She smiled at his predictability. It was like living with an overly hormonal teenaged boy, and most of the time she loved it…but not right now.

"El." She said. "Really?" She let out a heavy sigh. "What time is it?"

Elliot kissed her bare shoulder, biting at the strap of her nightgown. "I don't know." He said between kisses.

"Just give me ten more minutes." She said, as her eyes closed again.

Elliot continued kissing his way across her shoulder and caressed her ass with his hand, letting his fingers trail down close to her core. "It's OK. I'll just start without you."

She couldn't help but laugh, because she had no doubt that he would. He would tease her body until she couldn't take it anymore and she'd roll over and attack him herself.

He moved even closer to her, pressing himself against her right side. "You awake now?" he asked and she could hear the hopefulness in his voice.

"You know you're ridiculous, right?" she said, rolling on her side so he was spooning her.

"I can't help it. You're so sexy. Laying here practically naked."

"I sleep in every night." She said, referencing her tank top and underwear.

"And every night it's all I can do to keep my hands off you." He said, letting his hand slide across her stomach and beneath her tank top.

She let out a small laugh because there weren't many nights he kept his hands to himself. "We have to go to work."

"We have time." He murmured against her skin as he placed kisses along the back of her shoulder.

"We don't." She didn't really know what time it was, but they'd been late often enough over the past three months she'd been back to work, that Cragen had brought it up. "We don't need to give Cragen any reason to force one of us to leave." She placed her hand over his to keep it from wandering any further up towards her breasts. "He's watching us."

Elliot knew she was right. They had been really careful because Cragen had let them both stay, but they both knew that it wouldn't take much for him to ship one of them off. No matter how much he didn't want to. And he was adding up all of the small things…like running late into the squad room.

But right now, he didn't really care.

"Liv." Elliot moaned, rocking himself into her. "Don't ruin all the fun."

"Why do you always make me the bad guy?" she said, pushing her ass back into him. She felt like she was always the voice of reason. "You think I don't want to?"

Elliot rolled on to his back and let out a grunt. "Fine." He said. "Go back to sleep." He rolled over on his other side so his back was to her and Olivia had to smile. She loved it when he pouted like this…he was like a spoiled child that didn't get the toy he wanted.

She rolled over on her back and looked over at him. "Are you pouting?" she teased.

"Shhh. I'm going back to sleep." He whispered.

Olivia hesitated a second, surprised he had given up so easily. Now she was awake…and as much as she liked to give him shit for always having his hands on her, she knew she was just as bad when it came to him. The man had a body like a God, and he liked to walk around the apartment with no shirt and some low slung jeans or running pants and she felt like they were all over each other all of the time.

She knew it was because this was still new…it had really only been three months if you didn't count the couple of times while they were locked up in the safe house. She often wondered what their relationship would be like 3 months from now…six months from now…a year. And then she put those thoughts away because even though she didn't plan on going anywhere, nothing was certain.

She rolled over on her side and reached for him, trailing her hand down his spine. When she reached the waistband of his boxers, she slid her finger inside and wrapped them around the elastic tugging at them. "C'mere." She said softly.

He smiled…he knew that she liked to play hard to get…disinterested…sometimes. But if he had to add up the number of times he initiated sex vs. the number of times she did…she would clearly be the winner. It was one other thing that had surprised him in this relationship. He had never questioned her off the charts sexuality…but he hadn't been prepared for the outright seductress she became behind closed doors. There were times when things were slow and sensual…and other times wild and a little rough. He knew her body now…and could make her come in record time…or draw it out until she was begging him for release. And she could do the same to him.

He rolled back over to face her, propping his head on his hand. "Yes?" he said, trying to plaster an innocent look on his face, but knowing he was failing miserably.

"I have a compromise." She said, a small smile on her face.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what she was going to say.

"You need a shower. And I need a shower…" she said.

Elliot gave her a big grin. "I like the way you think."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot walked out of the bedroom and grinned when he saw Olivia standing in the kitchen. She was absorbed in whatever she was doing; undoubtedly throwing some snacks together for the Superbowl get-together they were hosting. She was wearing an old pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt…her feet bare and her hair loose…and she never looked more beautiful to him.

He couldn't believe it had been six months. In some ways it seemed like they'd been together a lifetime, and at other times, he had to pinch himself to make sure he was really holding her in his arms. He had been thinking about asking her to marry him, but he was nervous about what she would say. He didn't want her to think that he was only asking her because of the baby, because that was not the case. He would have married her the first day they'd been together if she wanted to.

A baby. He was so excited that this had happened for her…for them. He thinks that even though they'd never spoken about any type of birth control; that they had left it completely to chance without even really talking about it, she still had thought she would never get pregnant. He smiled at the thought of a little girl that looked just like her. Or a boy with her attitude and sass.

They were going to tell everyone tonight, because it was getting to the point that she really shouldn't be running around chasing perps anymore. And very soon it was going to become pretty obvious. He was actually amazed no one had notice yet because she did have a baby bump. He smiled, realizing he was probably the only person that really would be paying that close attention to her body.

"Are you going to stand there and stare at me or are you actually going to help?" she asked, without looking up from what she was doing.

He could see the smile break out and he walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her. He rubbed his hand over her stomach and kissed the shell of her ear.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine." She said.

"Are you sure?" he asked, because she had looked a little pale when she got up this morning.

"Elliot." She said, in a stern tone as if to tell him to knock it off.

"OK. OK." He said, laughing.

"Have you thought about how you're going to tell everybody?" he asked.

"Me? Why is it up to me?" she asked, laughing lightly. "You had a part in this too."

Elliot kissed her neck and hummed against her skin. "Yes I did." He said in a deep tone and she laughed again as he pressed his body into hers.

"Knock it off and help me. People are going to be here any minute."

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door, and Olivia went to answer it and within a half an hour, everyone was there. Cragen, Fin, Munch and Casey. The game started a short time later and everyone was having a good time.

Olivia looked around at the group of people gathered around her and thought about the journey that had brought her here. She wouldn't trade any of it. These people had been her family.

But she was having a family of her own now, and she was trying to decide what the right path was for her next. She didn't know if having two cops as parents was the right thing for a child. She wanted to be here to witness everything that happened, and the late night calls and potentially dangerous work might not be the right thing for them.

She still felt like she had more work to do to help the victims, but she had been talking to Elliot about what other options she had. She could work as a rape counselor, and had looked into that. There was a lot of advocacy work that needed to be done. Volunteering on crisis hotlines and all kinds of ways to help.

Elliot had been supportive, telling her the decision was hers. He would back her if she wanted to stay in SVU, if she wanted to leave to do something else, and even if she just wanted to stay home for a while. He knew she had wanted this for a long time, and he had told her he would do whatever it took to make her happy.

He had even offered a house full of kids, and she looked at him like he was crazy because really, one was enough.

"Liv."

She looked up, realizing Cragen had been talking to her.

"I'm sorry." She said, wondering what she had missed. She realized that everyone was looking at her and she looked over at Elliot. He had an expectant look on his face and she realized he must have told everyone they had an announcement and he was leaving it up to her to make it.

She took a deep breath. "We're having a baby." She said and watched the confused faces around the room, and then a big hearty laugh from Elliot.

"What?" she asked.

"I just asked you when the pizzas were coming because people are getting hungry." He said, still laughing, "but that's OK." He stood up and walked over to her as she mentally berated herself. He took her hands in his and pulled her up.

"We're having a baby." He said and she could see that it was finally starting to sink in. Casey jumped up and gave her a big hug, squealing in excitement. Next came Munch and then Fin.

"Our baby girl's having a baby." He said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Good for you."

Olivia couldn't help but notice the look Fin gave Elliot and she smiled to herself at the way he still watched over her.

Cragen was the last to approach her. "I'm happy for you Olivia. I really am." He gave her a hug. "It'll be the grandchild I never had." He shook Elliot's hand.

Olivia realized that it was kind of awkward then and while she was glad the news was out; she was still chastising herself for messing it up.

"OK." She said, trying to lighten the tension in the room. "Back to the game. Pizza will be here in half an hour."

She excused herself and went into the kitchen and Elliot followed close behind her. He found her leaning with her arms braced against the counter and her head down.

"Hey." He said quietly. "Are you OK?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm fine." She said and she couldn't believe she had tears welling up in her eyes. "Damn hormones."

"Why the tears?"

"I just realized how much this team is like a family to me." She corrected herself. "No, not like a family. They _are_ my family."

"I know."

"I just don't know if I can leave SVU." She said.

"No one's asking you to." He said, rubbing her back with the palm of his hand.

She lifted her head up and nodded. "I know."

"Liv. You don't have to decide right now." Elliot said. "We'll figure it out." He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. "Everything's going to work out the way it's supposed to." He kissed her forehead. "It always does."

Olivia knew he was talking about more than just the baby. They'd had this same discussion a million times. Every time she felt guilty about breaking up his marriage or taking him away from his kids. Every time they talked about missing each other as partners.

Elliot liked to tell her that when the day of Reckoning came, he could honestly say that he'd made all of the right decisions in his life, and that things had gone according to God's plan. There had been a time for his marriage. His marriage had given him his children. And then he had met his soulmate.

She could live with that.


End file.
